dirty old men

I saw the dirty old man at the art class today and he was late, the only seat being next to me, he sort of showed the whites of his eyes and pulled out a table next to his friends and sat there, he has never made any more remarks to offend. I walked past on my way home and I admired the others work and nodded to him and said 'that's good' and he just smiled a bit so I think hes learned his lesson. Thank goodness.

Ok

If you read recent posts you'll know the latest LuckyDucky

ethel what's the latest on the DOM?

Ranting isn't good, being succinct is. All will know you're not someone to mess with on here, or for real.

"Good on yer."

ive never been called s sweet old lady before lol, I will take it as a complement. farnorth

Oh, I think you should try, ethelt. It would be all the more effective from a sweet old lady

Im not angry anymore with him hes just a sad old man and I don't have an evil eye, Im sweet and kind and wouldn't know how to do the 'evil eye' if I tried

Keep giving him the evil eye! It might make him too nervous to try it on with anyone else.

I think the group has had a word with him as they told me he was too embarrassed to return a few weeks ago and now he has he hasn't said a wrong word. Im only being lenient to him because of his age, anyone else and I would have taken it further.

Gosh ethelbags you're complaining about getting wolf whistles?
Why? I haven't for years now. Probably something to do with my girth

So how has the creep behaved recently? As the other men in the group commented on his aberrant behaviour, what have they done about it?
Time they put him straight.

Never too old to learn, obviously

saw him today, I said 'hello' and he said 'hello'. All very civilised.
He knows to behave himself in future.
So nothing very exciting but he is nearly 90 so I will be lenient to him.

Go for the jugular ethelt!

I haven't been to the class for three weeks, I ve had a minor op and lots of tests in the hospital, Im back at work so Ive had to put the class on the backburner. I will probably see him next week. He will not dare to make a remark again or I will really will sort him out, Lucky

How disgusting of that dirty old man (DOM) Etheltbags1

Why didn't you feel empowered to protest at the time? He must be an old hand at this crude behaviour and can also spot a potential victim.

Have you told the other women yet? Get there early, when he appears, call him by his name, then, standing exactly where you are, use his name to draw his attention, then loudly and publicly warn " Your behaviour is totally unacceptable, so shape up or ship out." You *don't walk over to him.

I look forward to reading how you dealt with his perverted behaviour.

As for wolf whistles, I don't understand why they're hated. It's a quick response. If wolf whistles are now a precursor to crude comments, then do I understand.

ok MOnica, I will do what you say, I didn't see him this week so maybe it will have blown over by the time I next see him.

Age is irrelevant. If he is capable of dealing with modern technology, as was said earlier, he is capable of understanding hiw to behave properly in public. Sexual harrassment has never been acceptable in front of people in public, unless the group supported it,which they clearly dont. Groups will often deal with awkward and embarrassing behaviour from one member by glossing over it and infantilising the perpetrator, by doing that they implicitly endorse his behaviour. You have made your distaste for his behaviour clear. If it continues, say the above, but perhaps not too loudly.

'Listen to me you dirty old man, if you do not stop sexually harrassing me I will report you to the police' said loudly, should do the job.

I did not want to make a scene and bearing in mind he is almost 90, the others are used to him and make a big fuss of him, I felt that if I made a big scene I should be the one to leave the group. I will, however make a very big fuss if he does anything like that again.
I think he probably does not understand modern ways

Errmm, if you read back, etheltbags did speak to the organisers, Philippa, and it would seem that a satisfactory outcome has been achieved.

It's interesting that women can still feel 'obliged to be polite' in the face of abusive behaviour from men. Our generation was conditioned to put up and shut up. We shouldn't cause a scene or 'hurt' anyones feelings...

I would encourage you to feel differently inside and summon your power and know you have the right to protect yourself from unwanted inappropriate behaviour. And I agree that these sleezy men have probably been like this long before now. This behaviour is about having power over women and needing to humiliate. This was no cheeky spontaneous flirt..the man has planned ahead. Classic sex offender behaviour!

We need to give our grandchildren good role models, especially girls, about refusing to accept unwanted touch. Equally, unlike in my generation, I am a believer in not forcing kids to kiss and cuddle grandparents, uncles, aunties etc... All that this teaches them is to not listen to their internal selves and that their bodies and what they do with them is not their decision to make.

Personally I would be speaking to the organisation who set up this group and ask to have him removed.Or I might even report him to the police...If he's doing this to you,in public,God knows what he's doing elsewhere.

Sorry to be 'heavy' but its a very current issue.

Great! He's the one who deserves to feel bad, not you.

After being missing for a few weeks the old guy came back this week, I had told his friend that I would not say anything more if he came back. He was apparently too embarrassed to return, however he came back and I offered him a sweet he just ignored me. I was trying to be nice but he wouldn't reciprocate. So I am ok with him being like that at least he is not being filthy. MEN !!!!!

I hope it is sorted out now etheltbags

And I hope he has not targeted another 'victim'.

It partly depends on a person's personality. Plus she appeared to have next to no back up.
Plus there is no guarantee that people of this nature dont just keep repeating their bad behaviour, regardless of what anyone says or does.

It is a tricky situation. I know of a similar situation. The man never stopped. And I am not usre that police would be/are interested in this sort of thing.
Shaming them doesnt work. Everyone giggling behond their backs doesnt work.