I'm in the situation where I have 2 elderly parents and 3 children in their twenties. We live 100 miles from my parents, and about the same distance from our children, in a 3 bedroom house on 3 floors. My mum has recently had a knee operation, and is recovering OK.
I have a brother and sister, and we take it in turns to see our parents over Xmas, followed by a whole-family party soon after.
So, I asked my mum and dad (this is 'my' year)if they would like to come over for Xmas, but that they would have to stay in a local BandB as we haven't got room in the house because this year all our children plus one partner are staying(needless to say, we'd take them back and forth). Or we would drive up to them for the day (which would mean that my daughter couldn't be there).
My mum and dad said they'd think about it. a month on, my daughter rings to say that she wouldn't be able to see my mum and dad for Xmas, as my mum had told her that she and dad couldn't handle staying in a [email protected] (My daughter lives 200 miles from them, but had just seen them for the day as they were staying at a hotel nearby)
My daughter is upset and thinks that we should make room for my parents.
I feel upset, as I've tried to do things right - I truly can't see why my mum and dad can't stay in a local [email protected] and come for the day. My whole life with my mum is her pushing me to get her own way.
So, my daughter is judging me as inflexible and says that I should let my mum manipulate the situation this way because she's old. But she's always been like this.
Anyway, I probably sound like a bitch, but I've spent my life appeasing my mum, and now she's using my daughter in her games.
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