not to 'endorse' an underage pissup?

It sounds very dodgy legally to supply "children" with alcohol.
I wonder if a child became unwell the suppliers in whose house the party was could somehow be prosecuted.
I would seek legal advice.

Quite apart from the legal issues I think this is very wrong for so many reasons.

YANBU. I would be disgusted if a mother rang and informed me that alcohol was going to be served and I would probably turn down the invitation to the party. I don't think a 15 year old needs that kind of peer pressure.

I think Lona is right - you are not being unreasonable at all and minibags may go through the motions of being put out if she is not allowed to go/drink, but inside may be happy that someone who cares for her is prepared to stand up and protect her.

I can remeber a party of my brother's that got totally out of hand and he and I were quite frightened.

What is this desire to get pissed and be sick?!

Have you spoken to any other parents whose children might have been invited to this sleepover? You probably aren't the only one having serious misgivings.

YANBU bags, as minibags is only 15, she may well feel relieved if you refuse to let her go. Peer pressure is a dangerous thing and it takes a strong minded child to stand up for themselves. Only you know if she is that strong girl.
Good luck!

You are definitely not being unreasonable, Bags! Although I suppose it's better than just going ahead and giving them drink without any discussion! I have a child of this age, and I think my response might be that I cannot speak for anyone else, but I do not want my daughter to have alcohol, and I would ask her to assure me that she will respect my wishes. It sounds like minibags wouldn't mind this? Who gives alcohol to 15 year olds??? Good luck

When I was sixteen the most I could drink on a night out was three babychams, which was all I could afford! How times change! In a case like this I would expect a VERY weak drink, possibly a fruit punch that's had a bottle of wine waved over it, and VERY close adult supervision.

When DD was in her 2nd year at university they had a party and one girl ended up in hospital with alcohol poisoning. She was a muslim who had never drunk alcohol before! Unfortunately this incident meant that her parents found out that she was sharing a house with some boys, so the proverbial hit the fan from several directions!

DD at 16 won tickets to a pop festival at an outdoor location. The company giving her and her friend the tickets were a beer brand and the tickets included entry into the (free) beer tent.

When told about it I and the other mother both said NO! and withstood the tantrums and shouting that ensued. That is what being a responsible parent is all about.

Reminded me of the time 8 year old daughter was invited to a party that would include a video which I knew she would not enjoy .....it was The Mummy which was fine for robust 12 year olds but not DD. I stuck to my guns and told host she would not want to see it.....after a bit of a hoo ha the Mum put one video on in one room and another in another room ......turned out most of the children ended up watching the much less scary one!!!

Stand by your guns....we are supposed to be the grown-ups and with that comes responsibility.

YANBU

Peer pressure is bad enough at that age. Add to that irresponsible adult pressure and it could end in disaster. What a silly woman!

'Fifteen and sixteen year olds will be supplied with alcoholic drinks'. That doesn't suggest just one supervised glass of bubbly to me!

I've just noticed it's a sleepover. Maybe it's a single glass of something fizzy (which they may well dislike) with the birthday cake.
Or will extra bottles be smuggled in by guests?

I agree with Merlotgran, the mother is failing to take responsibility for teenagers drinking in her home.
Also agree with Trisher that she's trying to be cool mummy.
Other thoughts: how many guests? Might gatecrashers be a problem?

Not at all. I think it's a bit much when the parents of a 16 year old are supplying their child's friends with alcohol and expecting the other parents to text an acknowledgement, pressurising them to give a tacit approval, covering themselves in a way, but putting you in a very difficult position. I'm not sure how many 15/16 year olds would have acquired the sense to have one or two drinks and stop right there. Many years ago when one of my sons went to a party/sleepover around the same age, friend's parent let them all drink and some spent the early hours of the morning throwing up which can be dangerous. Do you know the parents?

Sounds like the friend's mother is passing the buck. She doesn't want to be wholly responsible for any problems caused by underage drinking so she wants parents to acknowledge that they could happen.

I would be unhappy about a child going to a party where drinking could get out of hand (and it probably will) It's a difficult age because they're not old enough to cope with situations that can get out of hand. We once had to rescue DD1 from a party where the adults sat around quite happily watching the kids getting legless and it scared her.

I wonder if the mother has really thought about the consequences?

I'd ask her to send you an assurance that if she is offering alcohol to young people she will 1. carefully monitor how much each child drinks. 2.accept full responsibility if anything goes wrong and a child has too much to drink 3.guarantee that she will personally take any child to hospital who has drunk too much
Send her this link!
www.drinkaware.co.uk/check-the-facts/underage-drinking/the-risks-of-underage-drinking

She sounds a bit silly and like someone who wants her child to think she is 'cool'

When DD2 was about the same age we, and a couple of other parents, refused permission for our children to go to a party held by some trendy parents who accused us of being old fuddy duddies. The party was held in their 'rumpus room' over their garage. They were woken at 3 am by hysterical teenagers as they were unable to rouse one of the guests who was taken to hospital with alcohol poisoning.

The pressures of parenting are never ending when you have a teenager in the family!

bags, what a disgraceful way for the mother of the birthday sleepover child to send to other parents.

When ours were the age of mini bags, I was seen as a harridan for refusing to agree that mine could drink alcohol at the homes of their pals but worse, for absolutely refusing to allow my 15 year old to have "alcopops" (all the go 15 years ago) at her 15th.

I find it hard to believe that any responsible parent would put other parents in the position of normalising under age drinking. If they were going out for a meal I may just about agree to one alcoholic drink but the notion of a group of 15 year olds, being given the go ahead to drink alcohol at a sleep over beggars belief.

We took our 15 year old and a group of her friends to the cinema at our local shopping mal (it was very trendy years ago). We delivered the 6 safely, bought the tickets and abandoned them at the door, planning to collect 3 hours later. An hour later, another friend who'd luckily been picking up her own daughters phone me. She'd found one of our 6 unconscious outside the cinema. She and another girl had slipped out of the cinema, persuaded a man to buy them a bottle of vodka, which she'd proceeded to knock back. She was in hospital overnight and I had the job of phoning her parents to tell them how ill she was. Luckily, she made a full recovery and the other parents didn't blame us for their daughter's behaviour.

Cautionary tale I think. Best of luck with your conundrum

You are not being at all unreasonable. It's crazy!

How does Mini-Bags feel about it? (Not that it makes any difference of course)