We've been estranged from our youngest son for over 3.5 years and he lives 15 doors down the road with our 2 GC, one who we haven't been allowed contact with since he was 8 months old(now aged 4) and the other just 4 months old who we've never seen.
We have our own business and for the last 18 months to 2 years have been discussing what we might do when Mr. S. retires, including selling our home and buying abroad. 4 weeks ago, we went out for lunch and saw a house for sale about 25 miles from where we currently live and that started the ball rolling. We viewed that house and several more, were quite excited about moving away as it's becoming increasingly distressing seeing our GC with them and the childminder, never mind catching glimpses of our ES who behaves as if we don't even exist.
Our house went on the market a week and a half ago and today while having lunch came the bomb shell. We talked specifically about this before putting ours on the market as I was worried he'd agree to move and actually go through with it, regretting it and possibly resenting me afterwards. Not as unlikely as it sounds as he's done it before. He did it when we bought the house we're now living in, have lived in for almost 28 years, the house he doesn't want to leave. He did this when we bought our property in Florida which he loves spending our holidays in, so I said he needed to be completely honest with himself and me and today, that's what he's done; he's told me he really doesn't want to leave our lovely home with it's beautiful view.
We've been very happily married for almost 36 years and compromises have been made along the way but this is one hell of a compromise isn't it. If he agrees to move for me, he may regret it and resent me for doing so; if I agree to stay I may regret it (I really do want to get away from here) and resent him for doing so.
AIBU for wanting us to move or is he for wanting to stay? Does it really matter whose being unreasonable when the real dilemma is someone's going to have to make one hell of a compromise. I'mand a little.
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