Hoping for too much?

They may have chosen not to bring it up for similar reasons that you have for saying nothing. Holding her in your thoughts and in your heart is a tribute to her; and it may be that others are doing the same. I can see that this seems a lonely business - but you can remember her quietly in your own way, as others will do in theirs.

Maybe there comes a time when, for other people, the anniversary date of a death fades. You may or may not find this happens for you too at a later date.

My mother died when I was young, over 35 years ago, but nowadays I remember her on her birthday, on my wedding day and on other joyful dates. Her date of death is just a number on a certificate, and no one in the family ever really mentions it. Some years I feel a bit sad, other years the day goes by without my even remembering.

You must do what is right for you, sometimes grieving on one's own is a quiet personal tribute to the mother one loved. Other times you may feel the need to share your feelings.

The first anniversary of my DH's death my brother rang me. We chatted about what was happening in his family and general things but didn't mention DH. When I later emailed him to thank him for the call he replied that he had telephoned to check I was OK but didn't want to talk about DH in case it upset me (which it would have done). Perhaps the rest of your family are feeling like you - remembering but not wanting to "shove it in anyone's face".

I am sort of in the opposite situation. My friends' mum died in quite tragic circumstances, and my friends and I have rather learnt to keep largely quiet about it, as attempts to talk about it are batted away by the family.
Might you have done this in the past?

If I were you, I would bring it up at some point, and see what they say.

Katek, hold onto your happy memories , they will comfort you X

I've found many family members remember but don't say anything to others because they perceive them as managing the grief better and don't want to risk upsetting them unnecessarily. I'm sorry you're grieving and sad and hope you have a better day tomorrow. Take care.

Thank you Annie, I've just been quite sad and introspective today - hers was an unnecessary death at that time. I shall try to focus on happy memories as I go to sleep.

Katek, it is possible that many in your family remembered but chose not to speak of it , so don't be sad , we don't know people's thoughts if they choose not to share them, you have your own memories , hope you haven't been to distressed