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children running across garden

(29 Posts)
Ziggy62 Thu 28-Apr-16 17:23:58

I work with young children for up to 11 hours a day, when i come home I just want peace and quiet. I like to see children out playing in street (rather than sat in front of a screen) BUT a group of older children (about 11/12 years old) are driving us insane. The run across our neighbours garden then across ours, back onto the street, sometimes coming right up to our living room window. Other neighbours had same problem but they moved at new year. They have been seen throwing stones at cars as well. I've spoken to them a number of times and once called the police . I dont really want to call police again, as I'm sure they have better things to do. One of the mothers knocked at our door last night saying I'd wrongly accussed her child, I just shut the door in her face as I am not blind. Apparently he went home crying when i told him I was gonna call police

rosesarered Thu 28-Apr-16 17:30:24

Saw a tv programme on this very thing recently.The older couple ( that in the end had to call the police) were lovely people and had only called the police as a last resort, as being nice to the youngsters, and then being stern with them just upped the loutish behaviour.The police did come out a few times,and had words with the boys and some parents, and it all stopped.The boys were not bad children, but were just egging each other on,and being children,were thoughtless as to how it may upset older people ( plus there was an element of criminal damage, kicking the front door etc.)Hope this helps.

Charleygirl Thu 28-Apr-16 17:30:35

I have similar and worse problems here. Around 5 were cycling over my open plan front lawns. One 6 year old has been urinating on cars and defecating on lawns. Unfortunately it is the word of the older children, he has not been seen doing it by an adult. The rear of my car has some minor scratches on it- they were accidental but they should not be riding their bikes around the cars. We each have allocated parking as we do not have drives. Like you I do not know what the answer is.

Synonymous Thu 28-Apr-16 17:40:54

Our DD had similar problems which she solved by planting her garden with very prickly shrubs and other impediments. Fortunately the children do grow up and usually grow out of stupid and anti-social behaviour but it is very trying in the meantime.

Did you take photos of those causing the problems? Always helps to have proof. Is there a neighbourhood watch system in operation?

Breathe deeply and try to ensure that whatever you do doesn't exacerbate the situation.

Ziggy62 Thu 28-Apr-16 17:43:53

My next step is to take photos but bit concerned about doing so due to child protection issues

Nomorechickens Sat 07-May-16 19:10:33

In our area the police would be happy to deal with this, policy of nipping antisocial behaviour in the bud. If they are like that at 11, what will they be like at 14? If the police are able to drop round and keep an eye on your street, it wouldn't be you reporting it so you can deny any involvement.

granjura Sat 07-May-16 19:44:44

How unpleasant and frustrating. Really I wouldn't call the police- I'd ask for an appointment at police to discuss and ask for advice on how to deal with this- with their support and approval. They probably are aware of the kids, and perhaps can also talk to the Head and Head of Year at their school. I wouldn't confront them myself- as it's likely to make it worse at this stage. Do you know any names or where they live- the name of the mother who came?

cornergran Sat 07-May-16 20:26:36

Our PCSO really takes on this sort of thing. Her preferred route is a general talk in the local schools highligniting the impIications for the young people of anti social behaviour as well as getting them to consider the impact on others. It seems to work. Maybe see if your local PCSO would do something similar or have their own approach? This type of behaviour can be very debilitating.

trisher Sat 07-May-16 20:49:10

This is exactly what the PCSOs are for. Do contact them and ask for someone to come and see you. You will be doing them and the children a service. If they continue to behave badly and get away with it they may escalate their behaviour and eventually finish up in real trouble, by stepping in early the PCSO could stop this.

Anya Sat 07-May-16 21:56:27

Also see if you can video them on your mobile from an upstairs room and show this to your PCSO.

Marieeliz Sun 08-May-16 09:27:34

On a previous post I had a similar situation. I had asked the group nicely a number of times, since last summer, not to misbehave around my car, we have a grass verge and I have a drive accross it. It started again as soon as the light nights came. When I got cross with the main culprit he ran home crying, they live in another road, which is even more annoying.

Mum came around telling me off for making her son cry she would call police!!

I told her she should have him where she could see what he was up to. Since then I have seen him a couple of times only. Luckily I also have access to the rear and I have been leaving my car there, which is a nuisance sometimes as I have to open garage and gates and if you are going out a couple of times in a day it is a pain. It does keep my blood pressure a bit lower though.

My next step would have been the CPSO's

Mrsdof Sun 08-May-16 09:50:46

Before we moved we also had problems with kids round our house, once they even smeared poo on our side windows (which were open to a public path) and it certainly didn't look like animal poo!! shock. I had to stop my DH from going out and confronting them, you just don't know how the kids will behave nowadays do you? Anyway we called in the local PCSO who said nobody should have to put up with this kind of behaviour. He knew exactly who the troublemakers were and he would talk to them in a general way without saying who had complained and we never had any more problems. However that IS one of the reasons we moved.

baw53 Sun 08-May-16 10:04:37

I appreciate this is nowhere near as bad as all of the above posts but it does make me so angry.I have a very large front lawn with a willow tree in the middle.A local private school has a charity walk every year to raise money for children in Africa, every one of their pupils has to take part( about 6 hundred ) A percentage of these children run on to my lawn and round the tree , and an even greater number wander off the pavement onto the edge of the grass.It was raining one year and they made a track across the lawn.They have teachers that are supposed to be watching/escorting them, but they are always gossiping or using their mobile phones.I asked them to control the children one year and they placed 2 of the ' senior ' children at the top of my drive to tell the children as they walked past not to go on my lawn.That was fine , but, the following year the same thing happened.I had to go out and ask them again.I found out this last time ( it has been happening for 5 years) which school it was and am prepared now to telephone the school the day before so they can tell the children the rights and wrongs about walking on private property.Surely it is common courtesy not to walk on people's gardens.Even worse than that one day a woman walking her dog on an extending dog lead let her dog foul in the middle of the lawn.( it is mowed and lovingly cared for by my hubby,he prides himself on the stripes!)She stood on the pavement and allowed the lead to extend .I went out and asked what an earth she was doing and she waved a bag at me and told me it wouldn't be a problem as she would pick it up....the cheek!! I was furious.It's a relatively quiet road and she could have directed her dog in to the gutter , or ' dragged ' it a few more feet to a non private area.

Rosina Sun 08-May-16 10:25:54

This is really an awful problem to deal with; you are so vulnerable if you tell children off as the minute you go inside you fear having your car scratched, your plants pulled up etc. We had a little of this at our last house, and I caught one boy throwing stones at my much loved ancient car on which I had just spent several hundred pounds having scratches repaired! I kept calm but said how would he feel if I came to his house and damaged something that he liked that was important to him? He went quiet and obviously thought about it, and I suppose I was lucky to get that reaction rather than abuse. I fear some children seem beyond understanding simple matters like respecting other people's feelings. Where do we lay the blame for this?

My suggestion for invaded gardens is to plant prickly bushes, as mentioned above - if you buy specimen plants they will be a fair size, and although expensive are cheaper than repairs to property, and cannot be pulled up easily. My absolute favourite is Mahonia. This beautiful shrub, I have been told, is often planted around prisons to deter escapees! The leaves are very sharp, the plant is pretty all year round with various delightful colours blossoming at different times, and I REALLY would not want to push past, or worse still fall onto, a Mahonia. Good luck.

Cressida Sun 08-May-16 11:29:30

We have the misfortune to live in an area menaced by attention seeking feral teens & pre-teens. Unfortunately for us they have decided that our front wall is a nice place to sit. We live in a terraced house and our front 'garden' is quite small so they are only a few feet from our window. Asking them not to sit there results in abuse.

We've had them throwing stones at the window, knocking on the window & peering in at the window. On one occasion they used a long flexible pipe to knock on the window and when that didn't get them any response two of them went down the side alley got on to the fence on the opposite side and one jumped across on to our fence then on to the roof of the kitchen bay window. They've thrown stones, bits of wood & even a tin box at my daughter and have threatened us both. The PCSO's have been great and we have now got the council anti-social behaviour team involved so hopefully it won't be long before something is done. We aren't the only ones being menaced by the ferals and the council team are hoping to arrange a meeting at a local church hall where everyone affected can talk to police & council and share information.

The worst one is 11 years old!! On one occasion we were outside talking to a couple of neighbours and a PCSO when the child swaggered past and said to the PCSO 'You can't touch me!' Hopefully he'll find out he's wrong.

inishowen Sun 08-May-16 11:43:51

When we moved here 13 years ago we didn't know that the road outside was where the teenagers gathered. They would play football, run through the garden, sit on the fence etc., They drove me mad, especially when their ball hit the car or garage door. I once lost it and screamed like a fishwife at them! It didn't stop. They all grew up and moved away. Now I see them visiting their parents, some of them are parents themselves! What a difference a few years make. Now this neighbourhood is lovely and quiet, with hardly any children. Phew!

Louizalass Sun 08-May-16 13:17:01

Thirty years ago we lived on an estate where most of the neighbours were friendly and we had no problems. But there's always one family that spoils everything, isn't there?

My son, who was about 6 at the time, started to be bullied by the boys of that particular family. They were quite 'feral' - ignored by mother, left outside in all weathers. She even went on holiday one Christmas and left them in the charge of a 'friend' who was the local drunk. They knocked on my friend's door to find out if it was Christmas day, yet! Poor souls, but try as I could, I couldn't get them to stop the bullying of my son, coming to the house and peeing on the doorstep, all those horrible anti-social things others of you have written about.

It came to a head one day when one of these boys beat my son over his back with an iron bar. My husband, who is the most mild mannered of men, grabbed the kid by the neck of his shirt and marched him over to his house and complained to the mother about what the lad had done.

Half an hour later, we had a policeman at our door to warn my husband that he was to get off with a warning this time etc etc. The PC was quite embarrassed because he could see the truth of what happened but he had to follow procedure. The mothers who 'protect' their badly behaved kids and refuse to hear a bad word about them do them no favours at all. Wish we'd had iphones with video in those days.

The following year we moved out of the estate and bought our own house in a nice area. Our kids blossomed and we never had that kind of trouble again.

Wish I'd known about the Mahonia plants then, though! Mind you, these days you'd probably be told to remove them because some little darling had scratched himself whilst pooing on your lawn!

But I would definitely use video to record these kids - the mother who refuses to believe their darlings are devils can hardly ignore the truth when shown their kids in action on video! Mindyou, they'd probably get the police round with accusations of paedophilia! I think that actually happened to one poor man, didn't it? Although the police had records of his previous complaints and they believed the reason why he was forced to use video.

Conni7 Sun 08-May-16 16:15:43

Berberis is very prickly! When we had people using our lawn as a short cut, we put in a berberis hedge. It worked, but over the years it has taken its revenge. Every time it needs cutting we suffer the prickles.

NonnaAnnie Sun 08-May-16 18:37:22

Why not put a fence around your front garden?

wot Sun 08-May-16 18:41:12

Put a trip wire up.

GandTea Sun 08-May-16 18:57:14

Electrify the trip wire -- might as well get hung for a sheep as a lamb.

Lilyflower Sun 08-May-16 20:54:11

You need to be very careful that you are not prosecuted for injuring a child so I wouldn't plant anything dangerously thorny. However, I would definitely film the bad behaviour and involve the police. Some parents today will not admit their children are at fault and cannot or will not discipline them so you need to resort to law and to have your evidence to hand. Some witnesses would, of course, aid your case.

Ana Sun 08-May-16 21:06:13

I don't think you could be prosecuted for planting berberis or any other prickly shrubs in your own garden! Trip wires etc are of course another matter...grin

Anya Sun 08-May-16 21:55:06

It's a minefield isn't it?

now there's an idea! grin

rosesarered Sun 08-May-16 22:11:50

Your garden, your rules! Plant what you like and tell the school in question, if this goes on, year after year you will be informing local paper ( you won't but they are not to know this.) They will not want a bad press.