guests I don't know

It was inconsiderate of him not to have mentioned it to you first but it is his house too and I can understand him being annoyed.
Being told that he has to uninvite them is a bit infantalising and looking at it from his point of view it must feel like he is being punished for a fairly small mistake.
I don't really understand why you are reacting so harshly. I would prefer to meet at a pub too but you can't both get what you want and it hardly seems worth the conflict and upset. If I were you I would say that I wish he had asked me first and apologise for over reacting and try to make their visit enjoyable for everyone.

We may see a thread soon from someone who has been invited to stay at someone's house - something her DH has planned without asking her - and she is really nervous about it! Should she suggest meeting at a pub instead?

You could phone her and ask if they have any food allergies etc - you will let your husband know as he will be doing the cooking. Then tell him you are quite happy as long as he cooks.
at least you will have broken the ice first.
It could be the start of a new friendship.

I've just remembered a horror story

My now ex-husband was in hospital for ENT surgery and got chatting to the mother of a teenage boy who had come to London from Newcastle for specialised surgery. Without consulting me he told the mum that instead of paying for a hotel for two nights that she could come and stay with me as we lived nearby!

I was pregnant with DS1 and suffering terrible sickness but I nicely took this mother home after visiting times, fed & watered her for two days, helped her with a few things, took her and son to train station when he was discharged and going home.

I never heard a dickie-bird from her again. A thank you postcard or phone call would have sufficed!

Maybe I'll remember more horror stories

My husband invited several people he had worked with in USA to stay when they came over here & to be honest although I was dreading it they were all very nice.
The only ones we said we would never have again were his sister & her husband who emigrated to Canada when he was about 15. He had been over to see them several times when he had been over that side of the pond but I had only met them briefly at our wedding. Worst 2 weeks of my life! Obnoxious people but I couldn't even be rude to them as they were his family. To be fair he felt the same way & we were so relieved when they left.
You may find this couple are really nice & it is only one night.

Over night causes a lot of work. Clean sheets, towels and not only hosting the evening meal getting the breakfast ready and served. Then there is the problem if you do not have an en-suite of sharing a bathroom/toilet with strangers.

As some gransnet members have said you might be making a new friendship and will certainly be supporting your husband. If you decide it is on I think you should discuss every aspect of your hospitality as a 'team'. That is from the buying of the food, to the sharing of the toilet at night i.e. if there is a downstairs one perhaps the ladies share upstairs and the men down stairs!! You may well need to agree on showers too.

Good luck.

Oh crumbs! If my husband did that I think I'd go into panic mode, but then I'd probably just get on with it anyway. It might be ok - and if it isn't then he owes you one :-)

I'd be annoyed, but unless your husband makes a habit of such things would go along with it so as not to embarrass him by having to un-invite. I bet the other wife is just as ruffled!

Do you find entertaining at home difficult .... I'm wondering why you need to meet new people on neutral ground?

There can't be many wives/husbands who over the years haven't hosted unknown colleagues and friends at the behest of their OH - I certainly did! Don't remember any particular horrors

Just tell him he'll have to change it- you had prior plans- meeting at a pub is a much better idea- otherwise he'll be playing mein host while you do all the work- sod that!!

I've had this in spades over the years. Just leave him to it. go away for the day/night [or longer] and let him get on with it - it worked for me!

Book yourself in to a spa hotel for the relevant days. At best he has been rude, at worst, taken you for granted.

Oh let his mates come, he wants to show yu and his home off, he does live there it is his home.

Maybe they will have a drink and not be able to drive home?

A couple of mates for a night is hardly an imposition, let him do the cooking. You might have a wonderful weekend.

And you could end up making a real and new friend.

I guess it will always be what you yourself make of it in the end.

I have been on the other side of this situation. When H was working we were invited to an official "thing" and H came home and said J has asked us to stay at their house afterwards as it was quite a distance for us. I hadn't met J or his wife before. We didn't spend much time with them during the evening as it was a dinner and we were not sitting together. We went back with them and it was apparent that she was not happy.
Next morning I don't think we were even offered a tea or coffee, a slice of toast certainly wasn't on the agenda. It was very uncomfortable for us both.

Have you asked him what he is cooking for the meal?
I think that I would have a prior engagement and let him shop, cook and make up the beds - arrive back in time to change before they arrive.

I guess this is something the two guys have set up, probably so that no-one has to drive after a convivial evening. Maybe Mrs Friend might not be too keen on staying the night either.
What to do now, though?

Has a date been set for the overnight visit? If so, maybe it could be put off for a bit and Mr Chelseababy could arrange for you all to meet for a pub lunch, or suchlike, beforehand?
He could explain that you'd like to be able to relax when you meet them for the first time, without having to prepare food and be hostess.

Chelseababy I don't think you're being unreasonable. Everyone is different, and your husband should know you well enough to have discussed it with you first.
It's your home too.

Yes Chelseababy you are! We often have folk staying that either one of us have invited and/or perhaps don't know. Never has been a problem and we have often had a really happy and interesting time.

I guess this is really about communication isn't it? My husband and I know that it's perfectly alright at any time to invite home friends or strangers, but in your situation your husband should have known you well enough to know you would want to meet in a neutral place or at least discuss the invitation with you first. In that case could you not accept that the arrangement has been made and make the best of it, but explain to your husband why it was an inappropriate thing to do without first discussing it with you? It seems a shame to possibly start off a new (to you) relationship on the wrong foot.

anya

Jane we seem t have a similar approach to the inevitable!

If that happened to me I'd be flattered that my DH thought I was such a good cook and hostess that I could take all that in my stride.
One thing I've always appreciated is that MrA is unfailingly pleasant to all my friends and relations and never minds me inviting anyone to our house, whether it's for a cup of tea or to stay a few days.
So I would always do my best to make his family and friends welcome too.
Yes OP you are being a bit unreasonable.

Asking them to stay seems a bit much (although it's something DH might well do) We once had a friend come to stay for a few days, which would have been fine but he brought a girlfriend we had never met who turned out to be the most appallingly demanding creature. Haven't made that mistake again!

Just suggest to your OH that he contacts them to ask whether they could meet at a pub or restaurant instead of coming to you , he could make some excuse about you being in the middle of decorating or something. Im sure if they are old friends and nice people they won't mind.

It will be very awkward to 'uninvite' them. I'd be really cross if DH did this but I'd bite the bullet and try to make their meal and stay as pleasant as possible.