guests I don't know

I don't think they'd be offended by "can we change it to (insert restaurant here) instead, about 7:30?"
No need to give a reason.
If they want to meet up, they wouldn't mind!

Bite the bullet, be sociable as its only one night but make it clear that he owes you BIGTIME ?

It's not always as clear and straightforward as it might seem. We live in a bungalow with upstairs guest rooms and our own main bedroom is downstairs. I've fallen for an uncomfortable situation twice, once at DHs behest and once friends of mine. When the dates were already arranged the guests announced that they couldn't handle stairs so we had to vacate our room with all our personal stuff in it and let them sleep in our bed, which I truly hated. The worst thing was that with one pair we found them upstairs nosing around, I was furious! I'm never going to fall for that again!

My feeling is that DH was thinking of his guests being able to drink and not drive. The invite was on the spur of the moment and he knows he got it wrong. It's not a question of him asking for permission, it is a shared home which is very personal to both, and discussion should always paramount with a couple. I would go ahead but I would phone the guests to see if there is any dietary requirement and then break the ice with these strangers.

You did well diffusing the situation, perhaps he will think next time! Sure it will go well.

Well done, chelseababy, on a) making the best of it and b) resisting the urge to tell a couple of the posters on here to sod off reflect a little on their judgemental/superior attitudes.

I agreed completely with Leticia, back on page 1: remember a prior engagement, let him do the work, arrive back in time to change and be charming.

You're a better woman than I am, considering your DH did this knowing about your health problems and that you don't like small talk. I hope it goes well for you.

cb I think your initial response was more to do with the recent problems you have had and your DH was the proverbial straw. Sometimes when things get on top of me the last person to ask me for something gets a firm "NO" when I would normally have taken it in my stride. Hope things are sorted and you enjoy your visitors. (If they are dreadful your DH is going to owe you bigtime!)

I think I would just grin and bear it. It's only one meal and one night but I would make it clear that next time he needed to be sure of my consent. They may be lovely people who are perfect guests. On the other hand it could turn out like a meeting my in-laws had with an old wartime friend with whom they had got on splendidly all those years ago. They arranged to spend the day with him and his lady and it was a complete disaster. They were never so glad to get back to our house and reach for the whiskey bottle.

I think I'd probably grit my teeth and tell oh, Ok, but unless you're going to do not just the cooking and shopping for it, but also, the thinking what to have!* - then book a restaurant - and please don't ever do this again without asking. But after that I would try to be as nice as poss to the couple.

It will depend I know on personality, but having people to stay when you don't know them can be a strain. Among many others I have had relatives of OH's from abroad - people even he barely knew! - ditto some of my own, and I'm in no hurry to do it again.

From the other side, I will not go and stay with people I don't know, and when oh has suggested it in the past (eg ex colleague and wife) I have said no. Much as it was extremely kind of them to offer (as I would tell them) if it's people I don't know, or hardly know, then I'm more comfortable at the Premier Inn, thanks. Not that I would add that bit!

As I said, a lot depends on your personality, I have a dd who wouldn't think twice either way, and another who's more like me.
*Don't know about anyone else, but I always find that almost the hardest. OH is hopeless at ideas - he'd happily eat shepherd's pie every night and have me give it to every guest!

Chelseababy A new dress is in order for the occasion. I'm sure your DH will agree.

And then there is all those little jobs that need doing.... DH I'm sure will be happy to oblige.

Perhaps you've got a friend that you would like to invite for drink or a meal, but your DH not too keen on her.
I think he might be happy to agree to an invite now

If you go ahead chelseababy you could make a 'meal out of it for quite a while!

chelseababy - this reminds me of when we had just moved to a new area, and husband announced that he had invited some people for a meal.
I was horrified - "you should have asked me first!" - probably because I lacked the confidence to take it on. It was a closeknit community and we were newcomers.
But soon we were taking in all and sundry, because we had a spare room. Some really strange people too.
One night we had been out for a meal and when we got home couldn't unlock the door. Our visitor, a single lady, had come in locked the door, put the sneck down and was fast asleep in bed!
We ended up sleeping at a friend's house.
Another one, a single man , left the house early morning without turning off the alarm which of course was set off as he strolled down the road all nonchalant.

Crikey - I can't imagine how you've managed to keep your hands from around his throat! But since he's gone and invited them to stay overnight, I think you'd be best - and would like/respect yourself more - to give in with a good grace and try to be a welcoming hostess. Hopefully, you'll enjoy their company, and maybe even make new friends of them. Good luck!

Good point jinglbellsfrocks . chelseababy didn't realise you had been stressed about work.

We are all different be a dull world if we were all the same.

Sure it will be fine. Nobody died from lack of small talk!

That is so typical of a man they don't stop to think of the preparation and all the work that goes into organising something like this. Cooking a meal for someone know can be stressful, but for someone you have never met before, and how will you know what sort of food they like, they could even be vegetarians, could end up a complete nightmare.
whether your husband likes it or not pick up the phone and book a table at your favourite restaurant, then they can choose from the menu.
I would let them stay overnight, chances are by the time you all get back after a few glasses of wine with your meal, everything will be just fine, then they will leave after a good nights sleep.

I would moan for a bit then give in , just to let him know you don`t want him to do it again . You may have a really good time and get on well but if it gets cancelled it will be very awkward during the pub grub ! Husband cooks I take it ?

Friends are a blessing, and even though you don't know them, you may find you really get on. I say, suck it and see. New opportunities and meetings make life more interesting. I would get your husband to help though and pull his weight. Then afterwards, I would get him to give you a treat to say thank you

You never know... you might have a wonderful time and make new friends. Yes, it would have been better to have been 'consulted' beforehand ... But you weren't, so maybe you can rise to the occasion and welcome these friends of his. I know that's what I'd do, but everyone is different!!

My OH invited two of his 'best friends' from work he had not seen for ten years or so ...to stay for a week ....I did not know them (husband had retired by the time I met him, and we lived in Menorca) ....they were ok, but took over ! She moved my food from the fridge so she could put all hers in ...stood over me whilst I cooked lunch, dinner, etc as her husband, she said 'can't eat that ....oh no, he can't have that...'...he has to have his pills (she told him he had irritable bowel syndrome .....he just went along with it !) he was ok but I really could have done without them coming back again (which they did ...they were driving through Brittany on their way down to their yacht in Spain ...so naturally, they stayed on their way back as well......) the next year, I sent them brochures of gites nearby .....wonder why we never heard from them again ???? ! ...the next time, my OH invited a very old friend from HMS Ganges in 1948, to stay (not having seen him for 50 or so years !) I had never met him, but he was lovely, and they had a really marvellous time going over old times ...he bought a car full of Royal Naval magazines and memorabilia and we had a really good time. Most of the time, I left them to reminisce, and drove them around to local bars and restaurants which was fun ! Sadly, he died two years ago, so my OH will never see him again, and I am so glad they met up (I found him on the internet ..OH does not use the computer, but it was marvellous !)..... Hey, why don't you suggest you all meet up beforehand in a local bar, or a hotel for a meal instead of you having to cook it ! At least before they come back to stay the night, you will have had a chance to weigh them up and get to know them a bit ! Who knows, you may have fun !

Totally agree with thingmajig

Go for it, chelseababy !

I hope you have a lovely time with your visitors chelseababy and that you end up making some new and really good friends out of it all. Your DH will be very happy about it all so I hope it lives up to his expectations too - but do be prepared to console him if it doesn't! We often 'grow' miles apart from those we were close to in our younger days.
Keeping everything simple is key and preparing everything together as well. Looking forward to hearing how it all went.

I have a horror story as well but not sure I can blame OH.

It was before the days of the Internet and I can't remember how it started but OH must have said to someone on the telephone 'if you are in the UK (this person was Canadian) do call in. Knock at door one day and there is this bloke and son with suitcases. They stayed for 6 weeks before we found a cheap b&b and persuaded them to go. I think my DD Facebooks with the son still, but our interests went different ways and this bloke went back to Canada and never contacted us again.

Well done chelseababy. As you say the die is cast really and you can't extricate yourself without your husband being hideously embarrassed.
My daughter years ago asked if a visiting pop band ( friends of hers) could stay overnight as they were doing a gig in the area and had no money for accommodation. I reluctantly agreed but then it turned out that there were two bands plus their manager. All of them plus the people who normally lived in our house amounted to fourteen people! The amount of bedding, sleeping bags and bacon butties in the morning was phenomenal but my daughter was so grateful and in a weird way it was fun.
Sometimes it's good to be forced out of your comfort zone, so long as you can snuggle back into it afterwards!

Hi would you have said no if he had asked first?
Is it his not asking rather than having guests that annoys you?
So long as you rope him in to help with the bed changing etc it might be ok. You could always go out for a meal and then come back to go to bed.
Then there will be no stress for you. Breakfast Toast and cereals and there you go easy peasy.

My words may have been harsh but you have acknowledged to us your stress problem which is the cause of your reaction and we all have to cope with stress to a lesser or greater extent. My friends tell me I worry to much and I know that it either never happens or works out well and it is enjoyable but I have a problem remembering that each time.

Get rid of the stress by working with your husband as a team. He is being very supportive doing his bit and will support you if he sees you making a great effort to cope with the situation and your stress.

As everyone is saying, keep it simple.

I think you have now found that sharing your problem was the best way to help you resolve it. That is why women talk and laughter is the best medicine.