Fuming!

Only one and half hours?? My brothers and I spent hours and hours on the road getting Mum to and from wherever she wanted to be. Weddings, birthdays, funerals etc., etc.,

Your brother doesn't know how lucky he is.

Oh you have my sympathy , Mum lived with me and I loved having her (mostly) . Sharing the care used to consist of driving her to dialysis once a week unless there were more important things to do . I think a coach trip could be very distressing for your Mum , get the selfish b*gger to drive her .

This seems thoroughly selfish. Last minute "do"? On a Sunday! Sounds more like an invitation to a BBQ or suchlike to me and they don't want mum cramping their style. As for mum travelling alone on a coach alone at her age I would find it totally unacceptable. A journey of that length would probably entail a toilet/refreshments stop off. Would mum be able to find her way back to the coach safely and on time? Is it possible that you could speak to her and see how she feels about it, if indeed she has been told about the new arrangements?

Have you asked your Mum how she feels about travelling by coach. My Mother often traveled from where she lived in Somerset to our house in North Essex. She would get a taxi or my brother to take her to the bus or train station and I would pick her up at my end, she did this in to her 90's.
She may be quite happy with the coach.

Get it all clear in your head and cool down a bit before you phone - if necessary write down everything you want to say and have it in front of you - it is too easy to be distracted and miss something out, or get annoyed too soon and just explode.

I'm trying to calm down and running all the 'should have saids' through my head. I ended the call saying I'd bloody go all the way there to fetch her myself rather than put her on a coach but I think I'm going to to call back and insist he bring her halfway. Honestly - I really hope my mum's wasn't nearby during this phone call - she'll think no one wants her!

Tell him He will have to keep her until the following Sunday then as it isn't convenient for you at any other time. The very cheek. What sort of a holiday was that for you?.

That's terrible. Ring him back give him a piece of your mind.

Far too long on a coach, Mo take him to task about this!

Did you point out that you have wasted spent a lot more than 1 1/2 hours looking after your mother on his behalf as well as your own , and if he can't bring her halfway home on the Sunday, surely he could bring her halfway home on Saturday? And if he can't manage, can his wife drive her, either on the Saturday or on the Sunday, as originally planned? It sounds as though HE has to go somewhere on Sunday, not both of them. Do they have no shared responsibility?

What is his wife thinking of, saying that it is a "waste of time" driving an old lady of 87 home? Has she any idea how tiring 4 hours on a coach will be for her?

I do sympathise, and it sounds like you're doing a great job. Unfortunately, it often seems to happen that certain people are expected to provide the bulk of support for ageing parents while others act as if they are doing a favour on the few occasions that they are asked to help out.

My mum, who is 95, would be very frightened to be put on a coach on her own and I think it is unfair of your brother and sister in law to place this stress on you and your mum. I don't think that a 1.5 hour car journey is too onerous a task to undertake.