Alcohol !

Fourboys if your daughter is drinking 'nearly' a bottle a day, she has a problem and I can well understand it upsetting your DH. I too would be upset if my daughter (or son) was drinking that much.

Nevertheless there must be some reason why he reacts so strongly. Can you ask him why he gets so worried about you and your daughter's drinking? Perhaps, even though you consider that although your father drinks a lot he is not troublesome, it is not how other people see it and your DH is really worried that your drinking will get as heavy as your father's and that your daughter could descend into alcoholism.

I know you will have come on this thread seeking re-assurance and to validate how you perceive the drinking in your family and there may be others that will be able to respond and give you that re-assurance but my response is that while your DH may be going about dealing with his concerns about the alcohol problem in your family the wrong way, the problem is there and he has reason to be concerned.

Need some help/advice re alcohol - my DH doesn't drink, maybe the occasional glass of wine on the other hand I like wine with evening meal to help me relax/unwind, a bottle may last me a week or if a particularly stressful time I can finish bottle in evening. I don't get drunk and it never effects my DH at all, I don't have hangovers, however DH detests me or our daughter drinking. We've been married 48yrs and very happy but when alcohol is mentioned his bristles go up and the angry face is in place. His parents were not alcoholics and my Dad whose 96 does like a fair amount but not to the point where he is troublesome. My friends say the way my DH acts about buying and my drinking alcohol is mental abuse - yes this has got a bit heavy but I do need advice please as it's becoming very troublesome with my daughter having nearly bottle of wine daily and DH being a grumpy old man! Seriously tho any help/advice would be very very much appreciated. Sorry if this is long post but it's the first time I've said anything on here xx

And that is the true face of alcohol when it gets a grip. Thanks for spelling it out Balini

No one is saying that for many a glass or two does any harm. But for those of us who have seen what it can do, especially to families, there is another side to it.

That's why we cringe when we hear certain clichés trotted out. Thanks Jess for reading my post carefully and understanding.

There are, a few printing errors on this, I can assure all, I'm perfectly sober. This iPad, has a mind of its own, and sometimes, works independently of me.

I am an alcoholic, or a recovering alcoholic. I still drink, only three malt whiskies, on Friday,Saturday and Sunday. When y wife was dying, my eldest daughter, was afraid I'd hit the bottle,when she was gone. Y wifehadfaith in me,and told her I wouldn't. I promisedherthen, that I would never,ever overindulge again. That is three years now, and I've kept my promise.

I know the full harmful effects of alcoholism, in the family. I put my wonderful, beautiful wife, through hell for twenty years. My eldest daughter, and to a certain extent, my younger daughter, must have thought, I was some kind of monster. When they got home from school, they never knew, what condition I would be in. Bringing they're friends home, was out of the question, for the same reason. To this day,I don't know, why my wife never left me. She must truly, have loved me. It was only pure luck, that the site manager, on the site I was working at, found out I had a problem. He was AA, and took me to a meeting. I never looked back after that. My wife and daughters, had a much better life, from then on. I am lucky, my eldest daughter, is very caring for me. She lives abroad, and I'm on my own, since my wife passed away. She phones every second day, to see how I am, and visits as often as she can. My younger daughter, has problems, and I know, it is caused by my drunken behaviour. My advice to anyone is, never have a first drink. If you don't have that first drink,you'll never get drunk, or become an alcoholic.

As I say, I have a small drink, at weekends, but that is mostly due to loneliness, as all my family, are overseas, and I am on my own 24/7. But, I will keep my promise, to my dear wonderful wife.

When I left the merchant navy in '72 I could drink half a bottle of rum a day.

We met (my OH and I) thru drink I remember we were on a beach,"gawd noes" which one, trying on each others clothes and we are still together.

We don't drink now quite happy with pop, but still surprised at all the misery that it's caused.

Diddy1 A little of what you fancy does you good.

You and me both Mamark1. Reminds me of Dorothy Parker's little ditty...

I like to drink if I'm able,
1 or 2 at most;
3 I'm under the table,
4 I'm under the host!

Can't drink much anyway, and am also terrified of ending like my father a drunk and a bully,. On the other hand, he died at 94, presumably pickled in his favorite tipple - rum...

That is very sad Anya.

But, Chrissie, aren't we told that doctors never believe what we tell them about our mild drinking habits? They double what you tell them, so you need to tell them half the truth.

Well, when my GP asked if I drank alcohol I replied that I drink a small glass of wine each evening, which I do, and really enjoy. She replied that it was fine, and was good for me, so I'm happy with that!

Love what KatyK s husband says, and KatyK herself says. I enjoy a glass of wine in the evening, with a meal, or just on its own, I am 75 soon and perfectly healthy, mind you I am due for my MOT soon, may get back to you on that result,cheers everyone.

But isn't fruit also bad for us now? Wrong kind of sugar? Is anything not bad for us? Nobody is going to stop me making my own smoothies for breakfast.

* Anya* The 'silly one liner' you refer too is quite profound in our current world where every day there is some story of how eating or drinking one particular item, will cause cancer, heart disease and every other ill known to human kind.

The vast number of people who consume alcohol, sugar, fat or painkillers or anything else you care to mention go through life consuming enjoying these items in moderation without ever having any desire to consume them in excess or putting themselves in any danger of accidents or becoming violent.

If we are to condemn all those who consume alcohol because some go to excess and damage themselves and others, then what about all those people who risk their own lives and health and those of their nearest and dearest by playing sports, driving cars, or eating too much?

Alcohol is a depressive that causes disease, accidents and violence. It leads to increasingly greater need, in the same way as heroin, and is best avoided. I think it is funny that the smoking police have nothing to say about alcohol, which damages many more innocent people through violence and relationship breakdown, as well as car accidents. I neither smoke, drink or take drugs but know that violent alcoholics kill other people. Anyone heard of nicotine leading to murder of women and children?

Well said Jess

Sadly it's a case of 'I'm all right Jack' until someone you know is killed by a drunken driver, dies in their 20s from alcoholic liver disease, ruins the lives of their nearest and dearest through their alcoholism or dies prematurely from alcohol-induced breast cancer.

As someone who has experienced all the above I'm less than amused by silly one liners.

Monica
The statement "Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality" was made by the writer Joseph Conrad.

If you have read that even a small alcohol is bad for you, then I suggest you stop ... reading.

There are many different diseases of the liver, some of them caused by viruses etc. But alcohol damage an increasing cause.
I'm a virtual non-drinker these days. Even a small one seems to be yet another damn thing that impairs the quality of my sleep.
But the evidence is clear - if you drink every day you are more likely to get an unpleasant illness that may kill you earlier or impair your life (and cost the NHS a fortune). So I do worry about some people I know who drink on a daily basis. Particularly younger relatives. One thing to hasten your end in your 70s and something else when in your 30s.
There is a tendency in the media etc to normalise excessive drinking.
I was very pleased that the Welsh football team celebrated without bottles and pint glasses in their hands. Well done them. They did not emulate the disgusting display put on by Flintoff et all when they won the Ashes.

What nonsense all this puritanical advice is! Remember what happened to fat? One minute it will add stones to your weight and kill you and the next it is good for you and no one should have dropped it from their diet.

I remember hearing the doctor who 'discovered' alcohol units saying on the radio that he made the measure up out of thin air and then also invented the safe/unsafe limits of those same units. All a lie.

Of course it is unwise to binge on anything but man has been consuming alcohol for centuries and it is part of our culture when under control and in lowish amounts. There are also recorded benefits to drinking red wine.

Everything in moderation.

Especially health advice.

Only at school Anniebach it never affected me.

In the 60's and 70's we use to drink drive all the time, so bad one night that I steered and OH worked the peddles, we where stopped at a police check point once, they opened OH door and he fell out, they pushed him back in and told us to take him home and yes he was the driver, when they started breathalyzing the normal response when they gave you the balloon was " another party"

I never associated alcohol with any illness.

The one thing I don't do now is drink and drive, any body who cause's death by driving while drunk.... 'nuf-said' I think.

You had never heard of alcoholism Gononsuch ?

I've been reading these post with interest and only recently released what a problem drinking can be. Pubs are closing down very quickly so maybe the message is getting through.

It annoys me when a accident is blamed on alcohol.

Anniebach opened my eyes to it a while make and I can honestly say I was unaware of any problem with drink.

Does anyone know where Marmark1 drinks, might be a threesome in the offing.

merlotgran I have some painkillers that I need to avoid alcohol when taking because they could stop me from breathing & unfortunately alcohol isn't a strong enough painkiller so there are times I can't drink

Our dear friend died of liver disease two years ago. He was tee-total and never drank alcohol, unfortunately he had a strong affection for all things fatty and had a really bad diet. His death certificate said the cause of death was obesity and liver disease.
Just a thought that the rise in liver related deaths is as much to do with obesity as alcohol consumption.