Alcohol !

You are an inspiration *grannylyn"

Sorry, a thousand is never enough

If you think you have a problem, you probably have
One drink is too many, a thousand is never too much .

Grannylyn, thank you for being so open, I have so much respect for you. I hope anyone on this forum that may be struggling with alcohol finds peace and compassion. Also, I wouldn't want anyone reading these posts to stop enjoying their favourite tipple because some of us have been unfortunate enough to find out just what damage too much alcohol for too long can wreak on themselves or those they love. My DH and I miss our glasses of wine, but not enough for it to matter. I think I'd like everyone to be a bit more alcohol aware, especially when there are young, impressionable minds around them when they drink. I'm sorry if I sound as I'm preaching, I've only just started learning the hard way.

Well, I think that's very nice, Grannylyn ?

Although anonymity is the cornerstone of AA, I have never concealed my alcoholism, There is not much I wouldn't do to help anyone to avoid the absolute hell that I put myself and my family through x

A recovering alcoholic cannot drink one tot of alcohol, well done grannylyn and you have given me some hope X

Grannylyn, I think it was very kind of you to put your post on.

I would dearly like to give an opinion on a 'recovering alcoholic' who 'only' has 9 malt whiskeys a week.
Been in recovery for 30 years, succeeding staying
sober by not allowing ANYTHING with alcohol in it into my system.
I was drinking 2 litre bottles of vodka per day.

Nana I understand how exhausting and worrying this is for you. You can't make your son better, only he can do that. Have you looked at the Al-Anon site, you may find support for yourself. My very best wishes to you and your son.
www.al-anon.org/

for you Nana. This must be dreadful for you all. I have no wise words just that I hope things eventually work out.

A sobering post NanaMc Geek. Glad your son is in recovery. He is very lucky to have your support and be able to live with you.Hope he continues to do well.

Last line should read "None of us will ever be the same again."

My OH and I have always enjoyed a glass of carefully chosen wine with a good meal and a chilled beer or cider on a hot day. Our adult children have never given us any cause for concern, they tend to drink less than we do. That's what we thought until a few months ago when we had a call to say that one of my sons was suffering severe alcohol withdrawal symptoms and was in hospital. Our smug/comfortable lives have since been turned upside down. We have seen at first hand what alcohol abuse can do to a young man's brain. For 15 years he has needed increasingly larger amounts of alcohol to get his fix. Nothing less than a litre bottle of spirits at a time is enough. He has hidden his addiction so well. On his infrequent visits to us, we suspected nothing. We were upset because we thought we were becoming estranged but the truth has been so much harder to take. He has asked us for help, has given up his job and moved home. Every day is a roller coaster. We are exhausted and frightened for his future. We love him very much. He has help but, although his brother and sister have been supportive, they have their own families and we feel very isolated. We now have no alcohol at all in our home. Our son is "in recovery". None of us will never be the same again.

jokes about alcoholic mothers are sick, jokes about drink driving and alcoholism sre sick, lives are ruined , families units are broken

Very strange post from someone with an alcoholic in the family, I'd agree.

It is not uncommon to trivialise that which you fear, JessM, I wonder if rubylady has her own reasons for joking about something so serious.

That is so not funny, rubylady when people on this forum may have had loved ones killed by drunk drivers. Making jokes about drinking - which is very common these days - is a way of making excessive drinking acceptable. If we're laughing about it, it can't be so bad. But it can be. Very.

Same here, KatyK my dad never drank, smoked and was a gym member, died in March. My mother smoked from 13 years old, is an alcoholic (and has been since I was a kid) and has taken little exercise over the years, still batting.

I don't drink that much now, especially when I'm driving as I tend to spill it turning corners!

Fourboys When DH orders a bottle of wine for two of you to drink when out, he is ordering it in a controlled environment where the wine is drunk by those who order it during a meal. End of.

For your DH living in a family where his DD and FiL are problem drinkers and you also are drinking, although not as much at the moment, is a frightening environment for him, where he feels out of control. He is probably very worried that with the generation directly above and below you having drink problems your lighter drinking habits could easily start drifting towards danger. As Anniebach has sadly illustrated, alcohol consumption can too easily drift from safe to danger volumes, especially with other heavy drinkers around you.

Who are your weekly visitors that always have a drink when they visit? Your father? Your daughter? I can well see why your DH gets worried about having alcohol about the house.

I think you need to ask yourself what it is in a glass of wine that you and your daughter find so relaxing. I suspect it is not the wine, it is the excuse the glass of wine gives you to sit down and relax. You feel you are not 'allowed' to sit and relax unless you have the excuse of something to anchor you to that sit down. What you need to find is something else to act as that anchor, something else that is a treat. A really nice bar of chocolate? a cafetiere of really beautiful coffee? Each savoured sitting down and consuming slowly.

Alcohol is a depressant, it clouds thought, and slows re-actions. That is why drink driving is a crime (do your DD or DF end up drink driving?). Generally it makes stress worse not better.

Think it through and make changes, for everyone's sake.

Fourboys, forgive me but ss the the mother of an alcholic daughter I think you dismissing your daughters bottle a day as nothing to be concerned s out, I think it is. Your father drinks a lot, he may not be troublesome but this does alter the fact he drinks a lot . My daughter started with a glass of wine to relax , one glass, then she needed two then three and so on . It is now thought alcoholism can be heredity, this could be troubling your husband You are not troubled by you fathers drinking or your daughters drinking, it seems you are excusing you need for alcohol , do take care please and I think you should discuss this with your husband , you may find he is deeply troubled by your daughters drinking , take care please

Your daughter is drinking too much. The average bottle of wine is about 10 units, so she is drinking 70 units a week where the guidelines state 14-21 and I think that may have been revised downwards.

One phrase though stands out and makes me worry - 'I don't need alcohol'
But you are using it as a crutch when you feel stressed. Be very careful.

Personally I think your husband is worried as he thinks you are both drinking too much, and he could be correct.

Thank you MOnica for your thoughts, firstly I must say it's not unusual for women in their 40's to get through bottle of wine a day after a very stressful day at work - I was shocked too. I'm unable to drive now so can't get out to do shopping so have to put wine on shopping list, when I do this maybe once a week as to keep some in cabinet if anyone visits etc., DH gets annoyed but if we go out he will always order bottle of wine between us. I'm so confused and upset as it makes me feel I'm not allowed to make decisions. I don't need alcohol it just helps to relax with a meal occasionally, my life is very stressful due to caring for v elderly parents.