Off for the weekend

I don't think they do flower. Grandparents or nursery have the child for the majority of the time . If they had to stay home like we did it would be eye -opening for them

I feel that it's another example of entitlement. They seem to want it all and think that it's their right. Don't these young people realise that their lifestyle must change when they decide to have a family.

Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings! Nice one
When DD and SIL came back from 4 days in New York some years ago I think they were a little put out when after an initially ecstatic welcome, DGS1 (aged 3) wanted to go on watching Fireman Sam

My DS was in the habit of taking DiL away for her birthday. With a significant birthday on the horizon they went somewhere exotic. We had the DGDs as usual, and we had a lovely if busy time.
When DS and DiL came back , DS asked the girls if they would like to see their photographs.
" No thank you " said DG1 then 8yrs old , "We weren't invited so we are not interested"
Their parent have never gone away without them in the 2 years since

Often my ex husband was away from home with work and no one came to help me with my children. I did once leave to go to a B&B, after a row, but returned after a couple of hours as I couldn't leave them overnight without me.

I got my first break away on my own when mine were 26 and 16 years old! I have just booked my first spa break weekend away in a few weeks while my DS has a final get together with his college mates before they all go their separate ways.

In saying that, my ED, up to the time that I last saw her, had never left her children for any pleasure activity, work yes, but not holidays etc, not even a night out together with her partner. I think that this is wrong. I do think that you should put your relationship first at times and make time for each other or even yourself. I know I would have loved it if I'd have been assured that the children were properly looked after at home. As it were, if I just went out for a while, I came back and my ex hadn't even given my daughter a drink most times. So I never felt able to leave them with him for long at all.

There is a big difference between offering to help family and friends when one half of the partnership goes away and being expected to rally round, if one of them goes away to pursue a leisure interest or their social life.

One is about friendship and family relations, the other is an imposition, which leaves the one imposed on with no choice inthe matter.

Both my DCs have long weekends away on their own and the fathers cope wonderfully. Needless to say the mothers take it in their stride. When I can I give them all a break to go away as couples without DGCs and I love having them to myself.

I thoroughly appreciated 'time off' given to me by parents and especially DILs. I was a single parent for a few years, and to be honest it was for the most part easier being on my own with DCs. One couple I was friends with split up at the same time as myself and the husband would foist himself and daughter on my whenever he could during his weekends 'on'. He was hopeless and saw no reason to correct this. Thoroughly p---ed me off at times.

I went away for a training weekend leaving DH with our 3 youngest of whom was only 1. When I got back he'd managed to sell the house as well! It had only gone on the market earlier in the week!

Seems to me that there may be some healthy doses of sour grapes going on here.

'We didn't do it so they shouldn't either' isn't a helpful way of fostering positive family relationships in this day and age. Times change so does disposable income and working practice. The only time I'd worry was if the parents were going away individually with friends INSTEAD of going away together or as a family.

I went away with my sister once and our menfolk got together pooling their resources to look after our 5 young children for a long weekend. We were welcomed back with open arms!!

Both DH and I sometimes had overnight (or more) stays for work while the 3 children were under 10 and I'm quite sure DH took the children to see his parents for Sunday lunch on my weekend conferences - I'm equally sure that they all enjoyed themselves.

Why wouldn't you help and support? If a friend goes away and lets us know in time, I'd usually ask their other half round for dinner one night; I've popped in to feed their pets and had them to stay as well if they're going on holiday. Our pets go and stay with friends when we go away too. Why would you treat family any differently to friends?

We're just about to take delivery of our DGC's family dog for a fortnight. Surely it's just what you do?

It is definitely the norm for many younger couples now and I do think it is good to retain some independence. We would never have dreamt of "doing our own thing" but why not ? My Son and Dil and Daughter and Fil have mutual friends and longstanding friends from their pre-married life and do spend time away. Looking back, there are friends I lost touch with because they lived elsewhere and visiting them alone never occurred to me.
Progress is sometimes good !

I never had a break when my kids were growing up. I'm all for it though. My DIL has been away to spa weekends, leaving her DH to mind the babies. My daughter is going away next month for two days, and again her DH is looking after their child. The men have fishing weekends and football trips. I'm sure it keep everyone sane and happy.

I think it's a good thing that couples have time away on there own I'm always around to mind my 13 year-old grandson and their dog if they want to go away together. The Times they area changing

It does seem the norm now I don't mind for special occasions we didn't leave ours until they were 18and 15 then only 2nights for 25th anniversary we enjoyed taking them with us

My DD and her partner are devoted to each other so I find it extremely strange that they often spend weekends away from each other. She is going to a party tonight while he will be with a (male) friend from work. My DH and I never spent a minute apart that wasn't forced on us and we only had two weekends away from our dear children (both to attend friends' weddings) the whole time they were growing up.

I certainly wouldn't be happy looking after any children they might have while they indulged in 'me time'.

Actually, I might. I guess I might well be glad of the opportunity to have the DG.

my kids often stayed with their GPs (at GPs orders so we could have us time, only very occasionally did we split up) but my friend goes away nearly every weekend because his marriage is on the rocks & he & his wife can't stand spending time togther & his kids are at GCSE/A level age so they donlt want to split up yet

I'm so proud that my son who works flat out can cheerfully look after a 4 year old and a one year old on this own while his hard working wife does her own thing. He does have local men friends who do the same and they do tend to go round to one anothers houses..........

My Oh used to go away often on jollies. TAs choir trips rugby trips and even when at home he frequently came home very late and slept in every Saturday and Sunday. I went away once and he didn't speak to me for a week.
Wonder why we divorced as soon as we could financially. Hmmmmmm.
I must say I was eaten up with resentment most of the time and it ruined our relationship. I wish we could have had equal chances for time off.
Heigh Ho!

I read this with great interest as I work with pre school children and am often told about parents needing a break" often abroad with friends my friend and I who work together often laugh saying we couldn't go to the corner shop when we had kids!! Yes I have two sons who have children one goes away for regular weekends with the lads but the other one rarely gets a night out so sign of the times ladies!!

Interesting how things have changed....a stag night is never just a night, ditto hen nights. We're there spas around in the 60s and 70s??? I feel like a dynosaur half the time.

This seems to happen a lot these days - separate breaks, I mean. Trips to spas, exhibitions, weekends away to see girlfriends, stag dos abroad etc etc. I've no real problem with it if they can afford it and I suppose 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' and all that! We couldn't have afforded it when we were that age, though.

I think its fine to go away for breaks separately. I don't think its fine to put on you though. A childs sick cope with it, why do they want you to run round?

We do happily look after the GC when my DS and DinL go away together, it is just these separate weekends they both go on regularly that concern me.

There always seem to be a problem with the children being unwell or the washing machine breaking down.

Heyho it seems to be the norm now. Our DS was 6 before we got a break. Different times different ways of bringing up the children.

My husband did it once with my blessing he went a way for a golfing week-end one of his party was a GP. Husband departed Friday, on the Saturday one of our sons who was 5ish developed a temperature and spent all night throwing up, I spent most of Sunday being passed to GP friend on the phone discussing son's condition. When my husband came back he vowed "never again"

I remember doing this to my Mum and Dad when my kids were small my then husband and I went away for several long weekends together and with friends.. my parents were probably the age I am now and I really had no clue what a daunting task it must of been for them I wouldn't want to look after 3 youngsters for 4days . I see nothing wrong with it if the parents are willing to help out.

If they choose to do this they certainly should not ask for help.