Mums on their phones

I agree with everything being said here too. On the bus into town with DGS (4) we point out things to each other, particularly diggers, cranes and minis (the car), but also police cars, nice flowers etc. On train journeys we take a 'picnic' (basically a sandwich) and play cards or hide and seek as well as looking at things out of the window.
I think his verbal skills are pretty good, but unfortunately Daddy (who has a bit of a stutter) keeps correcting him - particularly for his baby words - so quite often he's a bit stuttery at first... but because I let him get on with it, and also proudly proclaim that I still call motorbikes Pop-pops (for example), he relaxes and speaks perfectly well.
He's fascinated that I still use his baby words!

It's all been said - as a grandparent visiting soft play areas etc with my grandchildren, I have been so sad to see parents sitting round the edge on their phones, totally oblivious to their child playing on the equipment. As a granny, I'm watching my grandchildren and encouraging them - and usually find other children asking ME to watch them jumping, going down the slide or whatever because there is no one else to share their sense of achievement with.As many of you have said, there are so many reasons why child and parent are missing out...

Not only on buses etc crossing the road as well they walk straight out with the buggy in front with the phone pressed to the ear, dont even use a zebra crossing or traffic lights.

Most pushchairs and buggies have child facing the front away from parent. This makes it more difficult to communicate with the child in the buggie or pushchair.

This is all so very sad. Technology is wonderful, and really good for communication too. But there has to be a balance, right? That little person the parents have chosen to bring into the world does not have a choice - their only outlet for communication is the adult present. This especially breaks my heart because I see my DGD so infrequently, and I know her parents are addicted to their phones. Moonbeams, I think you've hit the nail on the head, it's up to the grandparents, now more than ever.

I agree with what you are all saying. These days I think it falls to the grandparents to stimulate their grand-childrens imagination, as mothers are always on the phone.
When my two and a half year old grand-daughter comes here, phones are off and we just play. (in between housework, she accepts this also) The games are not on the phones or computers, we play funny little games out of anything that is in the house. We have fun with books, making games out of a bit of string and we go fishing with bits of string. We have such fun, costs nothing but attention from us.
We laugh so much, her verbal skills are amazing, we read to her when we have her every night, she is now making up stories of her own. Her imagination is just amazing. She had confidence in herself, she can have fun with the most simple of things. We look at the mountains, we look at the clouds for shapes, we walk in the garden and have fun with the flowers. She loves it. She is developing quickly, this week we even played a kind of snap game with her little frozen cards. She would match the cards that came up and put them into a pile. No words of snap as yet as she is not quite three. She loves it. "Nanny can we play cards" please. What a pleasure it is, all so natural and normal and no phones, ipads or whatever else. She is a trick and so smart. (sorry Nanny B is a bit biased!)

I totally agree with you. It's because really when people are on their phones the whole time they do feel guilty and they know they should be doing more useful or more interesting things. It's also rude isn't it? After all if you're visiting people and you're looking at your phone the whole time you're really saying 'I'm finding this more interesting than you"!

Oh dear, now the disapproval is turning to working mums! Definitely not the thread for me. I don't generally read threads on those sort of topics on MN as more interested in other areas but, when I do, am usually pleased to see posters who are SAHMs at least respect the choices of working mums and vice versa - with some exceptions of course! Not so here, it seems as some feel it's OK to question why working mums had children at all!

Fortunately my own family spend vast amounts of time with their children and as result all the grandchildren are all doing really well at nursery and school. Our two older grandsons are also totally bi-lingual as their father is French and only ever speaks French to the boys - what a gift that is!
As a recently retired teacher, I am only too well aware of the detrimental impact the lack of interaction between parents and their children has on the young ones.
I despaired because of the mammoth task we were facing to 'narrow the gap' between these children and their peers who had already been given more support and opportunities even before starting school.

Mums on their phones
I can go one better than than. Friends of mine's daughter and Sil sent their children to day nursery from the age of 1, between the hours of 8am and 6pm, five days per week. They both work fulltime. To reiterate the question - why have children if you never see them. Yes, they have a lovely house and go on great holidays, but what about quality time.
Luckily they have wonderful grandparents who look after them after school and in the hols and they are darling children. We see them from time to time.
I worked when mine were little but part time when Dad was around and I didn't miss a thing. Thankfully my children and I are still incredibly close aged 30 and 34!

Never mind, a lot of young people make mistakes - most of us are.

Must write about a mobile obsessed neighbour we have, she is 64! we invite her and DH of hers in for a drink sometimes, she immediately takes out her mobile or i-pad, if she has something very importnt to show us, as soon you ask a question she "GOOGLES",then goes on to show something else, never eye contact. I bought a little sign the other day "Mobile free zone" I dont think she will even see it. Anyone else with mobile obssesed mature people? a few tips on what to do please.

My husband said about all of this that 'the wrong people are reading it'. But I think we're up against addiction really. That is what was said on the news this morning, that people are becoming addicted to these things.

millymouge I totally agree. And some day the children of these media-mobile obsessed people will be not only ignoring them, they will be chucking their parents into a care home where they can carry on ignoring them the way they were ignored.

Maybe they will be better parents themselves for having been ignored, or will the problem just escalate down the generations?

I really do have such anxieties about this particular topic as a friend told me that her daughter spends hours every day on the phone while ignoring her child at mealtimes, and talking or texting/reading messages while out. It's like a compulsion or addiction, and I understand it a little because having a smart phone myself if I hear it 'ping' I feel a need to check.However, I restrain myself as there is nothing that is so important that it can't wait until I get home. These stories are so sad; what can there be that is more important than talking to your child as they grow and sharing your life with them - so precious.

I do agree with some of the valid points made here about the over use of iPhones, tablets, etc - something I'm guilty of myself often. And of course the need to communicate with, read to, etc, babies and children.

But iPhones are a fact of life and I don't like the general tone in this thread of judging young mothers, tutting at them - and even,in the case of one poster, disapproval that some of them are 'allowed' to have children.

Threads/ posts like this with blanket criticism of modern times and of the next generation of mothers, claiming everything was much better 'in our day' is one GN's less attractive features for me. One of the reasons I spend much more time on MN. I like to look forward, not back, not wring my hands.

I agree with all the above. It makes my blood boil as well as making me feel so sad! What on earth will the effect be on these neglected children. Their general knowledge begins so early and all the hours these parents spend over all on their phones/tablets etc are missed opportunities to speak and play with their children. I was a stay at home mum and my two are 36 and 33 now. I look back at my short time with them at home and realise what a short time it is was! Just a fraction of life. Do these people realise that one day they'll look back and think how little they interacted with their children? I wonder...it's tantamount to neglect really when you think how often these children ask for attention and don't get it. What troubles it's brewing for the future. Sorry to be a misery but Infeel this very strongly.
Brighter note... My daughter and my two grandsons arrive this morning for a week and the old toys are all out ready. I shouldn't be doing this really... My husband's being neglected!

Was in the park with my GS who was on the swing when a little boy nearly ran into him I just managed to stop him from being knocked down...what was the mother doing talking on her phone and not even looking in his direction...I told her what happened but all she mumbled was 'thanks'and carried on talking... ahhhh

Totally agree with everyone, too many Mums pushing their children around whle chatting on their mobiles, no interaction, no wonder when the children are old enough they too sit with their i-pads,on computers etc, after being ignored when young and the example set by Mum always on the phone. Agree with readers about people talking on phones so loudly on public transport, telling the whole bus about unimportant things, terribly important to them of course. I love getting on a bus and being able to talk to someone face to face.

Sadly, this doesn't just apply to Mums. It's a universal trend. Here's one of my poems in my local Geordie vernacular which sums it all up for me... A Lost Art?
Ah love te meet wi’ friends, an’ te hev a reet good chat,
A smashin’ way te pass the time, discussin’ this ‘n that,
As wuh set the whorld te reets that chat’s a fav’rite occupation,
A chance te join wi’ others in the art o’conversation.
But as ah look aroond these days ah worry when a see,
So many bad examples of hoo things hev come te be.
Two lasses on the Metro left wuh feelin’ ahll perplexed,
As thuh sat next te each other te communicate by text.
Heids pointed doon an’ fingers flyin, total introspection,
As thuh “tahlked” there te each other, wi’ nee meaningful connection.
Ah’ve seen a family in a pub, ahll gathered fer a meal,
It’s nee exaggeration, an’ te me it seemed surreal,
Mam an’ Dad an’ both the bairns, wi’ i-pads in thuh’re hand,
Thuh may as well have been apart, ahll in some distant land,
In sep’rate worlds thuh surf the net, oblivious o’ each other,
Just hoo does that fit in wi’ bein’ a Fatha or a Motha?
So is it any wonder that when youngsters dee speak oot,
The noises that thuh make are a meagre substitute,
Fer “proppah” English language, wi’ a sentence ahll expressed,
Wi’ grammar an’ vocabulary suitably addressed.
Nee “ah wuz like” an’ “she wuz like”, such tortured, mangled speech,
Wi’ constant interjections as thuh struggle there te reach,
Fer the words te tell thuh’re story, as thuh’re forebears used te dee,
Wi’ such easy, practiced reference te a wide vocab’lary.
Ah see recorded interviews wi’ people in the street,
A “vox pop” scene from years gone by, wi’ sentences complete,
So very diff’rent from teday, ah sometimes wonder whether,
The person bein’ interviewed can string three words together,
Withoot “yuh knah” or “kind o’ like”, or usin’ that ”ah mean”,
Te fill those yawnin’ gaps where those lost words would once have been.
An’ even social gatherin’s whork against good conversation,
Wi’ some bliddy ahwful disco blockin’ ahll communication,
As yuh sit an’ strain te lip-read what yuh’re neighbours try te say,
But the decibels still triumph, an’ those words just fade away,
So yuh smile an’ nod, an’ then give up, another chance is lost,
Te communicate wi’ others, an’ it ahll comes at a cost.
At heart wuh’re social animals, an’ wuh hev the gift o’ speech,
Te serve wor complex lifestyles, te help wuz ahll te reach,
A proppah understandin’ o’ what brings wuz ahll together,
Te cement a lastin’ friendship teks some concentrated blether.
So ah’m makin’ nee apologies, an ah may be an’ auld fahrt,
But ah mourn fer conversation, fast becomin’ a lost art…

Apparently we all spend hours on our devices(speak for yourself) and you can now book a holiday in a yurt to detox without them. There are always leeches ready to ride on the back of the latest perceived problem and make money out of us.

I felt like crying after reading all the above comments.
Not because I disagree, I totally do agree with all the comments.

It makes me so sad that there are a breed of young ignorant, idiotic females allowed to have children.
I feel that this constant ignoring and talking on their mobiles is a form of child neglect.
Also, not so young mums are just as guilty.
My conscience wouldn't let me do that to my grandson.
He has lots of stimulation from his mum and dad, but I'm sure a lot of these neglected kids don't get very much.

It's so so sad.

I stopped being a Primary school teacher fifteen years ago. I was the Special needs co-ordinator. One of my first aims was to get the children I worked with to look at my face while we talked.Many children were failing to interact normally because they had missed out on the vital eye to eye contact and chatter from Mum and Dad in early years.

Now we have the added complication of parents who are addicted to mobile devices and tablets. I pity any teacher now, but most of all I pity these poor children.

reading the posts I am very proud of my DD & her OH, my DD is a stay at home Mum as DGS is 6 years old & her OH is disabled so she has a busy life but my DGS has grown up with parents who play with him, talk to him although he is allowed tablet on restricted access at times. He plays on his own & has a brilliant imagination, although football is his obsession (that's boys for you), they always read bedtime stories & now he has his school reading book he has to read that every day to one of his parents. He gets taken out to the zoo & parks during the holidays & is a constant "chatterer" - he also knows that he must not interupt adults but say "excuse me" when he wants our attention. No my DGS is not an angel just a well adjusted normal boy.

My DD does always have her phone with her but is not glued to it 24/7. Just wish there were more Mums like her

Agree totally anyway re mums, phones and pushchairs ?