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To be fed up with having to produce meals every day?

(102 Posts)
Luckygirl Sat 13-Aug-16 10:29:57

I have spent decades planning meals, buying food and cooking for the whole family and now that it is just two of us I have truly had enough of it. Sometimes my mind just goes blank and I think "What the heck can I feed us today?"

OH has a raft of things he does not want to eat (which includes all vegetables and salad and pasta of any kind). I cannot be bothered to produce two different meals, so I either cook what he wants, or what I want and have to watch him groaning and pushing it around his plate with a pained expression. He hates going out to eat.

The whole thing has just become a chore.

Many years ago he did go on a cookery course as the plan was that I would work full time and he part time, but would he take some responsibility for cooking - did this really happen? - no!

I cannot have my favourite food - cheese - because of migraine, so my enthusiasm for producing meals is rock bottom. We are reduced to ready meals a lot of the time.

Am I alone in having had enough of this?

Mojowic Mon 21-Nov-16 18:25:30

I had 60 years of cooking and my husband was disabled do I felt I had to produce nutritious meals but I was often cursing under my breath as I really hated doing it. Now he's gone I'd willingly cook every day but as usual, it's too late.

alchemilla Sun 20-Nov-16 15:38:25

Sympathise with OP but her DH with PD may not want to go out to eat because of tremor or whatever. I know my DP refused to unless it was really early with few people around and the DP could be hidden away in case of dropping forks, problems accessing loos, whatever. And sense of smell and taste tends to go. OP, go on the PD website and contact them. Not sure what your budget is but agree with those recommending places supplying 1/2 ready meals, and DH could help choose. Best of luck, it's a hard road.

Wobblybits Sun 18-Sep-16 20:29:31

Can't cook. won't cook, that's me. But Tesco £10 finest meals are within my expertise and taste great (other £10 meals are available)

trisher Sun 18-Sep-16 19:59:19

Fill the freezer with a large assortment of ready meals, chips,and veg and puddings, pack your cupboard with tins and packets and fill your fridge with cheeses and pickles. Get yourself some take away menus and sit back and relax. If you want separate meals just heat up your choice or order in. Don't think of it as permanent think it is just a holiday from cooking. You may decide after a week or so you would really like to cook but you may also find it is so much easier just to pop some fish and frozen chips in the oven or order a pizza you might just continue. I know freshly prepared food is healthier but there are so many sorts of quick cook things out there and both of you may enjoy your meals better when the pressure is off.

grannylyn65 Sun 18-Sep-16 16:17:23

Better than having no one to cook for any more.

cazzajen Wed 24-Aug-16 08:18:08

they're great for breakfast too with a little yogurt.

TriciaF Tue 23-Aug-16 09:47:46

Those bags of frozen mixed berries are certainly good value. The bags of raspberries too, much cheaper than fresh.
I sometimes make a pudding in a clingfilm-lined loaf tin with trifle sponge fingers and cooked raspberries. Put in fridge until set.

Maggiemaybe Tue 23-Aug-16 09:21:25

I made a gorgeous Summer Pudding this weekend, if I say it myself smile. So easy, and surely healthy. Just plain bread and fruit and very little sugar. I used to use fresh fruit, but have discovered that Tesco's frozen mixed berries have more taste, at a fraction of the cost. One sliced loaf and two bags of fruit served 10. Other suppliers are, I'm sure, available grin

cazzajen Mon 22-Aug-16 21:31:52

Wiltshire Farm Foods are great and you can both have what you like then.

aggie Sun 14-Aug-16 17:41:47

I do try the "healthy " options puddings , stewed apples/rhubarb/gooseberries with custard made from milk and Birds powder , no sugar ........ well the minimum in the fruit . Crumbles with cinnamon as the sweetener and Demerara sugar sprinkled , not incorporated but I have to resort to tinned fruit on occasion . Then he suddenly wants bacon ! just bacon ! not you full English/Irish /Scottish ... I stick a few tomatoes into the dish and hope there is some nutrition . I have a handy Microwave dish that cooks bacon while I have a Banana sarnie .... sigh

Jalima Sun 14-Aug-16 17:25:54

Ps he may not realise these nice puds or cakes contain vegetables!

Jalima Sun 14-Aug-16 17:23:06

Perhaps puddings that are fruit-based such as crumbles - you could make a batch of crumble mix when you feel like it and freeze, it stays quite loose so you don't have to freeze in portions.
Or egg or milk based puds?

Not all puddings are unhealthy - are they? Please tell me they're not!
Beetroot and chocolate cake, courgette cake, carrot cake?
One of your five a day (if you cut down on the sugar) and you can make them with healthy oil and freeze portions.

DaphneBroon Sun 14-Aug-16 17:13:31

I don't know if this is of any interest to members whose husbands have PD or indeed for themselves or for anybody with hand tremors, but I think it looks interesting.

Luckygirl Sun 14-Aug-16 16:57:30

Yes aggia - puddings are a hit! Perhaps I should just give up in healthy and nutritious food of any sort!

Sorry that you are not tasting your food harrigran - will this improve when the chemo is over? I do hope so.

aggie Sun 14-Aug-16 14:33:02

OH is unable to walk now and his arms are restricted too so all eating is done with a spoon , not every spoon is helpful , so between making sure the salt is hidden , the sugar has run out and the correct spoon is available , cooking/food serving and cleaning up round his chair is not fun . He always had a sweet tooth and if dinner is spurned I offer him some pudding and it is gone in a moment !

Stansgran Sun 14-Aug-16 14:25:44

You are so nice Harrigranflowers

Stansgran Sun 14-Aug-16 14:24:57

To be honest I would not be happy for someone with PD to do the cooking other than a salad. There is loss of smell so how would they know how to spice food,there is poor balance or tremor so would you want them dealing with boiling water or a frying pan. It really means that Luckygirl has to do it all so I think those two ready food suppliers are a brilliant idea because she can choose to treat herself. I didn't know about the sweet tooth which comes with the medication. One person I know prefers not to eat in public any more as he takes so long and is now rather messy which upsets him.

harrigran Sun 14-Aug-16 10:37:19

DH is doing all the cooking but I have to say what to cook. I have no sense of taste so it is just putting fuel in my body. I usually pick something he will enjoy.

Synonymous Sun 14-Aug-16 10:03:55

Until ten years ago when I had a stroke it was I who did the choosing and cooking with DH doing something occasionally but now it is DH who does it all. He finds it extremely wearing and tiring even though I 'do the shopping' albeit online. Fortunately DH loves to cook and is very good at it but he gets very tired by it all which is when we generally try to get away for a 're-charge of batteries'.

When exhaustion kicks in it is difficult to even think what you fancy to eat or cook so it is really important to have things written down. Recently, because of the harvest coming in from our group's gardens and allotments, we have let slip the weekly menu and discovered just how important this aspect of eating actually is. We have talked this through and are in the process of writing down 'quick and easy' meals, things which can be bulk cooked and frozen and ready made sauces etc which we both like and that I can manage to eat given my eating problems. We have decided that we need to make the effort to have a meal out occasionally too but this also has issues when energy is lacking.

I so want to be able to do things as I used to but can only do small bouts of food preparation before my energy runs out and all has to be done sitting down. I am fully aware of how difficult it is for DH and often feel very guilty because I can't do it as I used to and which he tells me is ridiculous - which I know it is.

Being unwell or unable to do things makes you cranky anyway and it is easy to lose sight of the feelings of others in the 'daily grind'. The most important thing in all this is to try to make it a joint effort at tackling the problem. If at all possible it needs to be discussed (without blame or guilt confused) and a solution worked out together so that the one who is less able feels included in the decisions.

I just don't know what to suggest when the illness of the OH makes this difficult or well nigh impossible Luckygirl and I actually think that your OH knows he really is a Luckyboy to have you! flowers and (((hugs))) to you both.
Being able to come on GN and just vent is sometimes the only thing we can do and often just what we need. smile

Jalima Sat 13-Aug-16 23:22:45

It goes in phases with me Luckygirl; sometimes I feel I just can't be bothered but have to cook something because I like eating! and I know DH appreciates most things (except pasta which i love).
Other times I do feel quite enthusiastic and will cook extra.

I find in the winter that filling up the slow cooker with a casserole, letting it cook all day then serving with a jacket potato is easy. Extra portions go into the freezer for another day.
More salads at this time of year (I do dislike preparing salad hmm).

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 13-Aug-16 23:01:55

Well, I am totally fed up with cooking anyway. DH made himself cheese sarnies this evening cos I ate out lunchtime and he didn't come. Every man for himself in our house sometimes.

granjura Sat 13-Aug-16 22:20:38

Your input has certainly been seriously helpful Ana- not !

Deedaa Sat 13-Aug-16 22:20:09

Oh God yes!!! I love cooking - I used to cook for a living. Now I an cooking for a man who can't eat much, doesn't have much appetite and find lots of things taste wrong now. It's hard to raise much enthusiasm day after day.

Faye Sat 13-Aug-16 22:10:28

I think those of us who enjoy cooking get satisfaction from others enjoying the meals we cook. When I had GS's staying for awhile cooking became a chore as they had become very fussy and they have very different taste. I started cooking very basic meals as that is what they would eat. I was always wondering what to make that night.

When on my own I make food that I enjoy and freeze a lot so I don't have to start from scratch every night. This week I arrived home after being away for four weeks. DD (who lives next door) said she fancied some of my Dahl and came over and rummaged through my freezer. She said she found some, took it home and enjoyed every mouthful. She made me laugh, but it is lovely when someone appreciates your cooking.

TriciaF Sat 13-Aug-16 22:02:26

I usually enjoy cooking, and like a few others make enough of the main part of the meal for 2 days, then just cook the veg. fresh each day. I bake bread and biscuits too.
Husband has offered to do some of the baking, and does try, but he takes over the kitchen for the whole day when he makes bread, and the result isn't always a success.
He makes very good chocolate crunchies though.
My only real complaint is that he won't eat out, but we do enjoy our meals. It must be hard for people like Luckygirl, whose husband has health and food problems.