It's driving me mad but .....

To be fair he is still working and drives about 45,000 miles a year in his job - he is 67 - so I think he is just knackered. If this is so then why not GO TO BED? But he won't. then if I go up to bed and leave him to it, he complains of a stiff neck in the morning as he has fallen asleep in the chair with his head on his chest - looks awful! He also sets his alarm for 5.45am but wont get up for at least another hour - says he likes a lie in, but I would rather have another hour's sleep - esp as I often wake in the night and cannot get back to sleep for hours. Something tells me I am fighting a losing battle.

Mine falls asleep holding the clicker for the t.v. ,!

whoops, sorry Granarchist - so need an edit button!

Grananarchist - I'm with you on this. It is exactly the same in our house. Every single night if we sit to watch a programme at 8 pm, he is asleep by 8.10. I usually discover this because I have commented on the programme, and get no response. Always denies he is falling asleep. Yes, it is very lonely, night after night with no real companionship. And …. oh no, I have just booked two theatre tickets for a Shakespeare play, but I had forgotten that he goes to sleep at theatres/cinemas and it will be so joyless - we were once in front row of West Side Story and he slept through the opening song - I so hoped the actors could not see him. I too suggest he goes to bed, if it is after 9.30, but he refuses.
It lifts my heart a little to see just how many of us have the same sleeping partners! I will think of you all tomorrow afternoon or evening!

I'm so glad I'm not the only one with this problem. OH falls asleep every evening (just resting his eyes) drives me mad and I find it very irritating. I got him to see GPS who carried out lots of tests, all fine including liver which was a surprise as OH drinks on a regular basis. He's got heart problems but consultant says that wouldn't make him tired. He falls asleep when we have guests too and going to theatre/cinema is out of the question. We should set up a chat while they sleep group

Printmiss you made me smile! Mine is always just "resting his eyes" as well. I really think this is a man thing - we don't sit and go to sleep, there's too much going on in our brains, always something to do. Men don't mentally multi-task, so they "relax" ... frequently!

My other half is currently watching Ripper Street through the backs of his eyelids, multi tasking clearly.............

When I used to stay with my mother once a week I would often nod off in an armchair, and she would unfailingly go on and on at me to go to bed. It drove me mad - I did not WANT to go to bed at 9 pm or whatever it was - I'd only have been awake for ages later. I would really enjoy a little snooze and would get my second wind later. At home I often fall asleep on the sofa and get a second wind later - and dh knows to leave me to it or he'll get an earful! He nearly always goes to bed before I do.

As for snoring, I know it's annoying, but I once read that 'snoring is the sweetest sound this side of heaven - ask any widow.'

Me too. DaphneBroon II'm very guilty and my OH is always telling me off. But I have no control. It happens.

This sounds like my son-in-law. He falls asleep anywhere. And I do mean anywhere. My DD has been seriously mortified on quite a few occasions when he has fallen asleep when they are in company. She said it's bad enough when it's close friends or family,but when he has done it front of not- so-immediate family,and relatively new friends,she nearly died of embarrassment. What makes it worse is that he snores like a walrus. I seriously think it must be some sort of disorder (the falling asleep I mean). I suffer from constant tiredness due to various medical conditions and medications I am on,but could no more fall asleep in company than climb Mount Everest!

I am in total sympathy with you all & suffer same problem with my DH - who is only 53.
Very interesting to see someone says it could be related to his Diabetes as DH is type 2 & has not been for his check up in ages- just point blank refuses- far too busy!

I wish doctors would stop giving out the meds unless patients go for checkups. He has other problems that he does not attend for check ups for too. I am going to tell him it could be his diabetes tonight & keep nagging- which does no good whatsoever. The only thing he will attend is the retinol scan- probably as it is not at surgery & they cannot check him for anything else. Head in the sand!!!
I forget what it is like to listen to TV without snoring in the background & he disappears upstairs at weekends or early evenings & 2 mins later I hear the snoring start.

Might be worth checking out that thyroid though?

Can completely relate to this thread, which made me laugh. My dh is retired and swears out that he doesn't sleep in the day, which he is now doing in front of the tv! I work full time and catch him at it if I pop home. Kaka, I have exactly the same thing with the remote control which he will keep next to him, put something on I don't really want to see, drop off to sleep and suddenly wake up if I get up to try to retrieve the remote to change channels. Suzied, I feel exactly the same with theatre, cinema or concert tickets. Complete waste of money as he's flat out as soon as the lights go down. He then stays up half the night whereas, if I'm tired, which is most nights, I'm off to bed early. Glad he's not the only one.

I have another one with sleep apnea on a cPap machine at night but he does still fall asleep after tea - we do get up at 5.30 and he has an hours drive each end of a long day so feel it's hardly surprising he's so tired. The one time it drives me mad is when he's on his day off and I'm working - and he's snoring on the settee at 10am in the morning. I have been known to wear headphones with very loud music blaring out

Reading this thread has made me laugh, as it is obvious that Mr G belongs to the same exclusive club. I've seen him fall asleep at 10:00am holding a newspaper!!! Of course he denies he sleeps during the day let alone during the evening (clutching the TV handset!).

Hi my other half has worked nights and gets up at noon to have breakfast and then is awake until 3or4am.
I have been a early riser since babies appeared 40 yrs ago.
However we manage I go for lunch with DDs or friends and we use catcH for tv. It's annoying sometimes but we try to make a joke of it. We are both second timers perhaps giving us more tolerance.

PS: In truth, 'a livelier, younger man' would have me running for the hills. I wouldn't know what to do with him!

I have been getting really cheesed off that our retirement seems slightly blighted by OH's need to sleep! I am glad someone started a thread before I did.

Oh he potters most of the day, but whenever he sits down, from early afternoon onwards, he is likely to drop off. We'll often plan to watch a film together, and after half an hour he's slumped on the sofa, dead to the world. It happens all the time, and perhaps I wouldn't be so annoyed if he didn't put Sky Sports on every time he goes to watch TV, even first thing in the morning. Grrr. He never falls asleep and feels the need to check the sports news regularly.

I think I feel peeved because I am not a napper and never have been. It seems our together time is going to be quite lonely.

I realise he could have much worse habits, so I know I am being overly tetchy. Thing is, he is even fast asleep when I am thinking "Grrrr...he's in the Land of Nod again and not here!"[hmmm]

Yes, I do my own thing and read or change TV channels, but I wonder how he would like it if I were always 'absent'? I am seeing it as,wel, almost 'bad manners' or 'discourteous behaviour' and I know it's not and I am being silly. However, we are both recently retired, we haven't shared a house for very long, and it feels like we've all of a sudden become 'old'.

I have told him I am going to stash a livelier, younger man in the wardrobe and wheel him out when he nods off!

My SIL is like this and he is only 34! Grampy has been known to fall asleep mid sentence! Makes you feel very valued, oh yes I agree with the loneliness of it too, glad I am not the only one feeling this way

Is it a man thing? I have put up with it for at least 40 years, and learnt not to worry. We record most things on TV, so I just switch to a programme I prefer. He can then switch to the other one or wind it back when he wakes up.

Have you noticed they do it on coaches too? Look down the bus and all the men are asleep!

As many of you suggest, he needs a health check even if you have to taxi him to the doctor's and tip him out of the car. Not just a 'man' thing, I've been sleepy during the day since my teens, struggling to keep awake at work sometimes, falling asleep at inappropriate moments. 3 years ago I was diagnosed as Coeliac and since going gluten-free I have never had so much energy or felt so well - and no sleepiness. I was aware that sometimes it would 'go away' for periods of a few months but never made the connection with my diet, I guess those were times when I was slimming and cutting right down on bread. Don't ignore it as the cure could be straightforward and also important to his general health.

Exactly what mine says PRINTMISS. We have TVs in two different rooms, he used to fall asleep on the sofa in front of his but now simply goes to bed before 9.30. It can be quite lonely in the evening I suppose, but at least I can choose what I want to watch.

Granarchist: We found out recently that my husband has heart failure, he was breathless at night when he lay down which stopped him sleeping - hence the tiredness. Do persuade him to get himself checked out, this problem can happen at any age....

I remember seeing somewhere in a tv programme that someone's extreme tiredness was caused by a heart problem.

My late dad did this in spite of downing at least 5-6 cups of high-strength coffee a day! Myself and my late mum struggled with insomnia. I avoid caffeine altogether unless it's before 2pm. For energy I take Siberian Ginseng now.

Sleep problems should be checked for all the reasons posted. It's more than an annoyance, it can be affecting his health, not just your quality of life as a consequence.

Make him go... book the appt and tell him he's going. I had to do that with mine over his gout several years ago. He was too embarrassed to cancel. I dread the day when Data Protection will refuse to let me book family appointments. My dentist has started that already.

I agree with you Metrolady, my husband used to fall asleep every afternoon and found it very frustrating as he wanted to read. He snored so loudly and would suddenly do an enormous snore, cough and wake himself gasping for breath - diagnosed as sleep apnoea and now he wears a Continuous Positive Airways Pressure mask at night and no onlger snores (bliss) and can stay awake.