Passing

I would use /have used 'died' /'dead'. If writing a condolence message I would probably say I am sorry for the loss of your xxx if i did not know the person very well. If it was a close friend/family member I would probably say 'I am sorry to hear of xxxx death' etc.
My DD when explaining her FiL's death to her (quite young) DDs explained that he had died and that was because his turn to live was over and he was making space for a new baby somewhere!!

I just think passed sounds terribly twee.

I am plain speaking being a Yorkshire Lass so I would always say some-one has died - bit blunt but that's me. I would however respect the way others speak about death

The french people here used "décédé" ie deceased, about a person. But when our neighbour's dog died she said "il est mort".
I use 'died' for people. I think 'passed' implies that they've gone somewhere else where we can still keep in touch. Which is another subject.

Funnily enough, although I don't like 'passed' I don't mind 'passed away'.

’Pass’ is derived from a French (and possibly Latin) word; 'die' is from an Old English or germanic word

'excrement' from Latin; 'shit' from Old English

Copulate is from Latin; the origin of fuck is not known for certain but is possibly germanic

See where I'm going with this?

Anyone else heading off to join the Plain English Society with me?

Passed is an American word, ok I think passed away is ok, but what on earth is the matter with died, it will come to us all in the end. I am passing on this post to everyone!

PamSJ1 .

My grandfather died when I was in my early teens. After a few months my parents were invited to a service at the Salvation Army for people recently bereaved. They were very amused by the Captain who said that they never spoke about people dying but that they were 'promoted to glory'. My father always said he thought it was a much better way of announcing it. A friend's husband rang me to tell me that they had just buried his brother (he was actually cremated) so to me a very weird way of saying he had died!

wobbly you will live for ever if you have children... your genes are within them and you should last eternally.... Look how they realised through genetics and mitochondria [she's becoming technical here ] that they came from "one" person.

I too loathe the use of "passed" [not even passed away] and, unless the situation is not suitable, say something like "dropped off their perch" or "popped their clogs" just for the reaction!

A long time ago I had a baby that lived for 2 days. I remember someone asking me about the baby I had lost which my 3yr old daughter must have heard( she's 35 now). One night when I put her to bed she was a bit upset and i asked why. Her answer was "you know that baby you lost, you won't lose me will you? " I was speechless and had to explain. Euphemisms can be confusing to 3yr olds. I learned a lesson there.

When my husband died, I was in Spain and when you talk about it in Spanish, directly translated it is 'my husband died'. I have always used this term in English too.
But having returned to the uk, I now work in a hospice and they use the term 'passing'
I find the expression somewhat strange

Undertaker wanted to put 'passed away'in my brother's recent death notice .I overuled I'm afraid .Along with 'fond brother' which was altogether too lukewarm . 'fallen asleep'is worse
But then I hate it when people 'lost their battle against...'It suggests to me that they didn't fight hard enough.There are some illnesses no amount of 'fighting' can overcome, sadly

Oh Katek. That was so funny. I never even heard of Jeanne Robertson. My only worry is that her husband sounds a bit like me.....

PamSJ1
Perhaps we should not criticise the words that anyone uses really, if it helps them.

Very sorry for your loss, Pam. Still very early days for you?

It is just over 2 weeks since my husband died suddenly. I find it more difficult to say he has died when telling anyone. I know it doesn't change anything but at the moment I get less upset if I say passed away or lost.

I agree with using the terms others use when talking about their bereavement and normally use dead, death and died when talking about my family and friends. There has always been an exception though. If talking about my father I always say he was killed in a car accident, especially when I was a lot younger, as people always asked why or how if I only said he'd died. It told them what they wanted to know and was a lot easier than going through the details every time.

I have always heard the term 'passed away' but 'passed' is just an irritating Americanism.

Totally agree that when people are talking to one another it is absolutely up to them how they describe the event, I was thinking about the media and the news announcements.

I was once alarmed when a colleague told me sorrowfully that she'd 'buried her Dad yesterday'! I know its a fairly commonly used phrase but my immediate thought was 'how did he feel about that?'

If my family say I have passed or passed on, I will come back and haunt them.

Going back to falling asleep thing - it absolutely terrified my niece when she was little after reading it on a gravestone. She comes from a plain speaking family, and it took a while for her to accept that some people used euphemisms, and didn't just wait for people they didn't like to drop off so they could bury them.

When my ex husband lived and worked in Nigeria in the 80s they used to say of someone who had died "he has completed his assignment"
Describes it perfectly!

When I had to inform people of loved one I always said passed away felt it wasn't as blunt as died