Passing

When I went to register my father's death, I was asked "when did he begin his journey?" This threw me: I thought "he's not going anywhere, he's dead. End of journey. Full stop." But I didn't say what I was thinking.

I saw on Facebook this week that someone's mother had "past away" sad but true in so many ways.

When my father died earlier this year, I found myself saying 'I lost my Dad'. Strangely I found it too blunt to say died, I felt I had to be more 'polite' and have regard to the other person's feelings. Strange isn't it?

"Dead" is too final, death is not final, we live on in our loved ones memories or in our works and deeds. I envy writers, artists etc where their work lives for ever. Einstein will never be forgotten, but then again neither will Crippen

(guess my meds are still keeping me in the 70's mood)

I believe in telling it like it is. Dead is dead not passed over or passed away or.........

I too am uncomfortable with the euphemism 'pass away'. When my DH died, I made sure that I always used the word 'died' and still do when I have to explain that I am widowed. One of my daughters has recently started to use the 'pass' word which I really don't understand, being my progeny, but if that's how she feels.......... Probably she is surrounded by friends and colleagues who use that word

Young people seem to think its the correct thing to say usually based on what they've seen on TV. Also use 'sorry for your loss' in a sort of garbled way. This is usually absolutely genuinely meant and they are trying to do the right thing. The media have a lot to answer for!

"Tactical" or "tactful"?
These predictive keyboards!

x posts, wob.

When my father died, I didn't want anyone to be 'tactical'. I just wanted them to know he had died. It's not cruel or lacking in 'tact' to say someone has died, or is dead.

'Passed', to me, has religious overtones. It suggests, to me, a passing from a mortal coil to an immortal one, or something of that nature. Speaking of death, dying, of someone who has died, seems much more accepting of an end of an individual's (animal, plant, whatever) life. Which, to me, is what it is.

Before anyone thinks I'm being critical, read what I've said: I've talked about what certain expressions mean to me. I haven't mentioned anyone else. Other people can think, and say, what they like about death.

I'll continue to say that someone or something (like a tree, for instance) has died. Death gives life anyway. When you're as close to nature as I am, you see death as a giver of life to other organisms. See what I did there?

Perhaps "passing" is a reference to ones soul passing to another place.

I think it more tactful to ask "has your * passed away" rather than "has your * snuffed it"

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201610/medium-726284-img-0597.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201610/medium-166041-img-0598.jpg

Getting worried now when I see these on remote country roads

I think people in general used to be much more straightforward about death. We pussy-foot around the idea, let alone the fact, nowadays as if to talk about such a fact of life were somehow taboo.

We do our utmost to put it off. We struggle to make laws allowing people suffering horrendously to end their own lives when they choose. We think it's more importance to push death away than to try and end suffering. We confuse assisted suicide with euthanasia.

Yes cornergran it is thinking of the feelings of the bereaved that's important, as you and some others on this thread have said.

And as grumppa pointed our the term 'passing' has a long history of usage and is not a modern ones.

Bluntness is overrated!

Does it really matter what words people use to describe what happened? If it helps them come to terms with the death of a loved one then isn't that all that matters? Different people deal with things in different ways.

In conversation with a bereaved person I use the language they use to respect their beliefs and preferences. If I am the bereaved person I use death and died. I would prefer the media used the terms I favour, but then so do we all.

The one I find annoying is on inscriptions She/he fell asleep on May 2nd or sleeping peacefully I also read the obituaries and find EVERYONE except my parents died peacefully

Is it not short for "passing over" as in "to the other side". "Passed away" is often used by medical people instead of "died" as the latter sounds quite harsh when you are giving sad news to someone. I think different words are fine when you adjust them to the person you are speaking to. If you know someone well then you would know which words to use to them.

'Passing' for dying sounds a bit euphemistic to my ears if used today, but it has a long and respectable history, e.g. the passing bell rung when someone has died (Dorothy L. Sayers' The Nine Tailors) and Tennyson's poem The Passing of Arthur in the Idylls of the King.

Jeanne Robertson's take on 'passing'.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=-YFRUSTiFUs

To use the term "lost" is a bit different to passed or died. When someone you love dies you feel you have "lost" them as a presence in your life.

I do not like "passed" for died.

Depends who says it - of someone says it of a loved one, then that is their choice. Not an expression I would choose myself though.

I think that for media purposes it should always be the word 'died' but in private speech, if people prefer it then 'passed away ' is alright ( because it's their choice)
I always say died, not passed away, lost, or gone to their reward or anything else, but respect the right of others to say what comforts them.

Ha ha petra To quote Oscar Wilde; "To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness".

Has anyone seen the wonderful Jeanne Robertson's take on 'passing'? Very funny lady.