False friendliness

Chatting or being genuinely interested is lovely but the banal 'have a nice day ' or any other of the false ' told to say it' phrases when you know they couldn't care a shit if you have a nice day or not is incredibly irritating, constant repetition becomes meaningless.

I talk to anyone in queues, on the bus, train etc even on the phone when strangers ring up because I like friendliness it makes the world go round, but talking to me because you ve been told to and saying the same to everyone really lowers the art of conversation and is almost insulting if there is no meaning

Elainel I think you ve taken Shanna statement wrongly she clearly states FALSE statements and you clearly state you have interesting chats You are both talking about completely different things

Shanma I think I will not bother chatting with patients again. Seems a lot of you can't stand even nurses talking to you so why should I bother? Maybe " come in, which arm?" is all that is required!

No Daphne, I don't like false anything, much rather people be honest
whatever their opinion.

"False" friendliness is IMHO better that heartfelt hostility.

I work with the public and I try so hard to be nice as I genuinely want to be nice. A lady the other day said she was upset and without thinking I asked her what was wrong in a manner I would ask dgd, she was angry and said she didn't want to tell me. I just wanted to help, however she did eventually tell me and I sympathized so no harm was done. it's just so difficult knowing what to say and to who to.

I am a nurse and I often ask how my patients are today when they arrive. I expect an honest answer and usually get one - I need to know if they are feeling unwell or upset or had a bereavement or even if they are fine and happy that we have had decent weather in the autumn so far. I usually finish with a comment appropriate to what they have been telling me. I think it makes people feel I am interested in them and their family. I do know many of my patients well as I have been in the same job for a long time.
We are meant to introduce ourselves to people we don't know as part of mandatory training and lots of patients will then address us by name which is a personalised part of care.
Things that annoy me are people saying - cheer up it may never happen etc - how does anyone know what has happened. It is a really insensitive thing to say.

I work as a volunteer in a shop in the Out Patients department of a hospital. I always say 'good morning' if the customer comes up with a paper, chocolate or sandwich. If they stand there I will say 'may I help you' they usually want a tea or coffee. As it's OPD most of the customers are ill in one way or another, so we tend to make allowances for the occasional rudeness. My colleague, on the other hand will say 'what do you want?' This will bring smiles, especially from the men. After a bit of banter, she will say 'now clear off'. Comments of 'hurry up' to people on crutches and 'I'll help you coz you're old' are common. She is very popular and the regulars always want to be served by her for a bit of 'abuse'. If she has a day off they are always disappointed. She is equally rude to the staff and will tell the girls off for eating too much chocolate or the men for being scruffy. If I said those things it wouldn't come out the same. It is certainly the way she says it, with a smile and a love on the end.

I usually talk to the staff on the checkout as it would be very boring for them if no-one did.

If I have had a telephone conversation with someone helpful, I tend to thank them and say "hope the rest of your shift goes well", which usually seems to be appreciated.

With regards to supermarket checkout staff, well, I did a whole thread on that, "Engaging with the customer"!

Well Dears I just want to ask how you are, have you anything nice planned for today? have a fantastic day!!

Sorry? Did you speak? Oh dear oh dear, having an actual conversation doesn't seen to be in my remit, now where did I leave my script?



Just want to add to this that we went for our flu Jabs this afternoon, and pleasant as the Nurse was( They all are in our Surgery) It did grate a bit when she said " So have you planned something nice for the afternoon?"

I just replied " In a word...NO"

I'm seventy two,during a recent visit to the hairdressers , a very young girl washed my hair. Part of her training was obviously to engage your client in conversation . Whilst shampooing my hair she asked "going anywhere nice this evening " , I replied I was going clubbing . She looked quite shocked.

Surely its much better/nicer to be friendly to people than grunt and snarl .Lifes far too short to be annoyed at folk being friendly/civil

Spot on, paddyann.

The checkout lad and my husband were having such an in depth conversation about a sponge we were buying to wash the car that although he took the security tag off the alcohol bottle he forgot to scan it.

Telesales people who ask me if I'm having a nice day tend to get told that I was having a lovely time until some idiot rang me up!

I've worked with the public for 40 odd years ,always chatted with them and sometimes have customers come back years later and remember the conversations and ask about my now grown up kids and I usually remember them too.Surely its much better/nicer to be friendly to people than grunt and snarl .Lifes far too short to be annoyed at folk being friendly/civil

callgirl1,

I think it's to make your own posts easier to find.

One day dh replied that I had died overnight and his response was,as always,'good good!'

Why am I coming up green?

Personally, I don`t mind the friendly overtures, even if they are programmed to do it, it`s better than downright rudeness or nastiness.

Talking of insincerity - DH had a business partner who said, without fail, 'Good morning, I hope kitty is keeping well' and, hardly waiting for a reply would say, 'good, good!!'. One day dh replied that I had died overnight and his response was, as always, 'good good!'

I must admit it is a tad irritating having stood in a long queue in M&S when the assistant without raising her head says "Sorry to keep you waiting".

I don’t mind the ‘have a good day’ comments. I think it takes more energy to get grumpy than it does to say, “You too.”

Them: Good afternoon. How are you today?
Me: Fine. You?
Them: Emmmmm……

I think they need a longer script.

Thank goodness that my early years working in the retail sector were pre-scripting. However, what really annoys me is that the staff in my TSB bank (otherwise lovely smiley people) are trained to not only to ask 'are you doing anything nice today' but additionally the totally invasive enquiry as to what my plans are for the cash that I am withdrawing, grrrr.

Oh yes, 'how are you today ' really gets to me from someone I don't know, as if they care? I would love to say ' what's it got to do with you' but daren't ?
How should you answer that anyway ? Fine, great, rotten, how are you ? All I want to do is be served and go.

I worked for the DWP for a couple of years and we were told we had to use a standard telephone response to calls. It went on for ages and, shortly after it was imposed on us, our senior manager rang one of my colleagues. Lyn picked up the receiver and duly launched into the required announcement. Our manager tried to interrupt several times with 'yes, I know all that' and 'Lyn, it's me' to no avail. When Lyn finally stopped for breath our manager said 'Okay, it's a bad idea - I get the message'. Sadly it was a Government direction so she wasn't able to do more than relay that most of our clients/customers/claimants (depending on what the 'in phrase' was at the time) thought it was a waste of their time too.