To expect people to return things they've borrowed?

I once 'lent' my half-way good road bike to a friend whose own bicycle had been stolen and who came round to demand a loan as I never rode it myself - which was almost but not fully true. Whenever i asked for it back I would be given excuses, and last time I asked I was told it was in Wales on a farm. This always hovers between us but is not important to her as she has a somewhat cavalier approach to possessions. In fact I think she has forgotten.
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Aren't you all very polite and/or shy

I run a lottery syndicate and it's the same principle, only having to ask for the money. I learned the hard way to say 'Your payment is overdue. Do you realise if we win this week you'll miss out?' Then I suggest they give me two months so I 'won't have to remind you next month'!

I have read a similar story recently, and it was suggested (by a young person no doubt ), that when someone borrows an item, grab your mobile phone, and take a picture of them holding the item to be lent. Hopefully that will stick in their mind, and if they 'forget' you can always show them the picture with the date!

It's so rude. I'm like sunseeker in that I hold grudges against people who have done this to me! my neighbour told me to go and look for my books and cd,s that I'd lent her and the cd,s were all scratched. I didn't get back even half what I lent her. how disrepectful!

We have had records, books and CDs borrowed and not returned. We should have learned our lesson but how can you say NO to someone? I also think it is horrible when people do this. They are breaking a trust imo.

I agree with ctussaud. I fully intended using a 'borrowbook' as I used to forget who I loaned what to. I lent Titanic DVD to someone once and hadn't even seen it, and didn't have a clue who had it!
I say intended because I forgot where I put the book so never got to use it. Nevertheless, it's a brilliant idea.

I put my email address inside the book and only lend books that I have bought in the charity shops, I ask for them back or remind to bring it with them when they say they are visiting and so far its not been much of a problem. As for money, no, I need it.

If you don't want to appear to keep bothering her for it, why don't you say one of my friends/ neighbours/ family wish to borrow ?? Could you pop it round please or I can pick it up next time I'm passing. It is rude not to return things.

I have learned over the years not to borrow or lend. There have been too many things returned broken or just not returned at all. Why do people think you are giving them an article that they have asked to borrow and don't think you to expect it to be returned in good condition. Everything from China electrical goods and especially books.

If the book is special, I put my name and the date of purchase in it. I have a few signed editions and wouldn't dream of lending them to anyone.

When giving books to friends I usually say I don't need them back if they'd like to pass them on but for a special one make the point of saying I do want that one back. A post it note with my name on inside the cover helps.

This one is hard to beat! I lent a number of household items to a neighbour who was down on her uppers (alcoholic) When her flat was eventually repossessed, she had a boot fair & sold them, presumably the proceeds went to buy more drink! I didn't have the heart to protest!

...and the trouble is that it's often a favourite or important book that you're recommending to someone.... groan.
Be assertive. Be direct. Maybe when you're round at their house, then they can put their hands on it.

I once lent money to an English girl on a train in Spain. When the ticket collector came round, she realised that she had left her bag in a cafe. She had heard my (Scottish) accent, so chose to approach me. In fact I had actually seen her earlier in said cafe, so opted to give her the money for a ticket. She took my name and address, and a cheque duly arrived a couple of weeks later. It restores one's one's faith in human nature. A friend, on hearing the story, said she would never have given the money. Had it been a huge amount, neither would I. Sometimes you just have to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

When I lend something to somebody I just say, 'and don't forget to give it back' Whoever it is.

Ask for it directly- can I have that book back please? I have promised to lend it to .....

I run 2 reading groups & I am always being given books to read & I confess I sometimes forget who lent it to me so I always say now. 'Remind me to return this book or I will forget who it belongs to!'

I don't want to clutter my home with with even more books!

It can be hard to say 'no' when friends ask to borrow stuff. I've lost count of the amount of books I've never seen again.

The mother of a good friend was going to a posh wedding and somehow the friend knew about a particular fab hat in my carefully stored hoard! She asked to borrow it .... As I handed it over I knew u would never see it again! And I didn't ?.

What's that old saying ....never a borrower or a lender be

A young (and dippy) colleague of mine had her purse stolen and I loaned her £20 for immediate use. Never saw it again. She was loaned quite a few £20 notes on that occasion and I didn't like to ask if anyone else had had their loan returned but I suspect not. It was a learning experience and I have never been so foolish again. Polonius was right!

I have a borrowing book in which I enter books, DVDs. CDs etc. Oddly this can make it easier to effect returns as people see their name being entered and it focuses their mind that it is a loan. It also makes it easy to say "Just noticed in my borrowing book that I lent you the box set of XXX last Christmas; I expect you've watched it by now?"

I no longer lend nor borrow, I learnt that lesson a long time ago after lending a cherished item to a family member who failed to return it and then found out through another that they had given it away. I now live by whats mine is mine and stays mine.

This is something I hate!! I once loaned several books to the girlfriend of a friend of ours, they split up and I never got the books back - it's something that still bugs me to this day and it happened around 15 years ago! Currently, I have loaned 2 TV box sets and 3 books to various people but there is no sign of them being returned several months later. I don't know why I continue to lend things!

You could always say that someone you know wants to read the book DVD or whatever and could they please pop it in so that the other person can enjoy it to. That way the responsibility is for them to bring it back. Then a gentle reminder that said friend is coming in next two days so can I have it for them or shall I pop round for it? That saves grudges. My mother used the old adage, neither a borrower or a lender be. Either you have to expect never to get it back, or give a time when you want it returned.

YANBU. You should not have to chase anyone to give you something back that was borrowed. IT IS STEALING. I am so passionate about this as I have been made to feel in the wrong before now for asking for things back that are mine! I would never lend anything to anyone again.

I have fallen victim of this lending out stuff time and again. As if the generosity isn't enough in the first place I then feel I'm going cap in hand to ask for the item back. Even when I've done this sometimes there is no return of the item - we've recently lost whole box sets of tv series, DVLA driving box set, some crockery that a friend's teenage son threw across the room and broke - I was told this as an example of the lad's explosive anger - but I've yet to be offered a replacement. These are lovely friends that I'm highlighting here in these examples but I truly think folk don't mean any malice but are slightly thoughtless on their take on giving/returning/borrowing/. Hmmmmm ............

Yes, this really is annoying. Some years ago I lent two books to a work colleague that I considered to be a friend. These books had been gifts from my DH. We lost touch when she left to go to another job, and has never been in touch since.