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I am setting a limit of ten pounds/secondhand/ha ndmade christmas presents

(32 Posts)
etheltbags1 Thu 24-Nov-16 09:36:06

I am totally fed up with Christmas already. I just don't know what to get anyone, SIL only likes 'designer' gifts, DGD wants every toy on tv and my mother raid the pound shop for a presents.

DD has just no cash to spare for presents and SIL says hes not buying for his parents this year, so I felt that I should say that I don't want anything either. Its just not fair that I get a present and not her. His mother just like expensive gifts maybe costing thirty quid or so, while Ive rarely had anything that expensive.
Ive told everyone to stop buying for me unless it costs under a tenner or is from a charity shop or perhaps a homemade cake or sweets. That way my conscience is clear.
Everyone is asking everyone what they want and no one will say what they want so I'm putting a stop to it. am I being unreasonable and can we all please just go back to one present each apart from kids.

My mother was greatly offended when I stopped her from buying rubbish, she tends to fill a bag with cheap coffee, biscuits, dusters, anything she can get from the pound shop but the fact is that she ends up spending more than if she bought just one decent present. Her excuse is that these things will save me from buying in the future. I'm just so fed up, perhaps I should be like a friend of mine who just buys everyone socks and adds a tenner to the parcel if they are family. I'm stressed out with the whole thing

Christinefrance Thu 24-Nov-16 09:55:25

Ethelbags sorry you are so stressed already about Christmas, it's really not worth it. Just all agree to buy only for the children and leave it at that. These things get out of hand sometimes it creeps up on you. Alternatively you could make a family donation to a favourite charity.

Katek Thu 24-Nov-16 10:41:04

We are downsizing Xmas gifts this year-it was getting ridiculous and we were all just buying things for the sake of buying them. DD tried to start a secret Santa for the adults only, but as I still wanted to buy a small gift for my children SIL said it wouldn't work unless we all bought in totally. TBH I was a bit p'd off about it as their reasons for suggesting the change were because present buying was a 'chore' and a 'hassle. Sorry, I didn't think buying a small gift for your immediate family was such a chore, I felt as if I was a nuisance simply for being! I did point out that Xmas isn't all about practicalities but doesn't have to cost a fortune. Outcome was we put a ceiling price on gifts. I've bought some lovely things from local Xmas Fayres - however I opened the jar of bramble jelly in a moment of weakness (greed)!

petra Thu 24-Nov-16 11:52:33

If your " so fed up with exmas already" why don't you do as I did some years ago and just tell people your not doing it any more. I started to help with drop in centres for exams dinner being run by charities. It was the best exams days I ever had.
I had to opt back into the whole chabang once the grandchildren came along, though.

J52 Thu 24-Nov-16 12:15:04

We are generally a one present per person family. The DGCs get one thing each from their Christmas wish list, vetted by their parents!
DSs and DILs get something they would like, but probably wouldn't buy for themselves, priced within reason.
DH and I buy the usual range of smelliest, jumpers, books for each other, cost dictated by quality etc.

Wider family children are now adults, and DB and SisIL get a shared present. I do have a couple of close friends that I exchange small 'treat' presents.

This keeps Christmas presents relatively stress free.

Jan51 Thu 24-Nov-16 13:19:18

Both daughters now have partners and last year we bought one couple a garden shed and the other a wardrobe plus they had small things to open on Christmas day. This year I decided not to ask what they wanted as they have a Primark just opened near them so will give them a voucher each. I know they will both be more than happy with that, especially younger daughter who is very pregnant at the moment so will look forward to some new clothes after Christmas. Grandsons both want alarm clocks and they will also get a toy/game. And daughters partners will get t-shirts plus something silly. DH will probably get clothes and he has my list to liaise with the girls

Beammeupscottie Thu 24-Nov-16 13:31:09

We don't buy for adults anymore. It got nightmarish. The children have a small present and some money. So, except for sorting the cards and cooking Christmas lunch, I am not giving Christmas another thought. Bah Humbug

Granarchist Thu 24-Nov-16 13:36:50

We have a £5/homemade/charity shop limit for adults + one More expensive gift for one person - lots are drawn earlier in the year.Grandchildren get things they need/want bought from ebay/Aldi/charity shops - so far it is working but everyone needs to buy into it. DD and self are off to Hobbycraft for stocking fillers (pipe cleaners etc) for the children. Also a very old family rule brought in by my mother when ITV started (!) nothing seen by the children being advertised on TV will end up being a present. (This also has the effect of children rushing out of the room when the adverts on on the TV!)

Jalima Thu 24-Nov-16 19:15:41

If you knit you could knit them all a woolly hat or scarf or socks, start in January (if you are as slow as me) and you could have something for everyone by December.

Otherwise a voucher for £10 (SIL can get a designer whatever from Amazon!) and everyone can please themselves.

Apart from the DGC - if you are feeling kind you can buy more for the children.
Mine are having something useful each which I know they need (plus a little surprise each).
The DGD may have something knitted too if I can get off GN!

br0adwater Thu 24-Nov-16 19:24:20

Agreed! No, not unreasonable.

Best Christmas we had was when we agreed to spend £5 per person on something as kitsch, ugly or useless as possible. It was great fun to do and the present opening morning was almost unbearably funny.

Grannyben Thu 24-Nov-16 23:17:32

Similar to Katek, my youngest daughter also suggested Secret Santa gifts between her, her sister, me and their grandma. I just couldn't go along with it. If I had drawn my mum I wouldn't have been able to get my own children anything although I was still to buy their husbands as they weren't included in the scheme. I just couldn't go along with it. Over the years I have cut my list down and now only really buy for immediate family. I also set a budget for each person and try to stick to it. For my daughter's I spend about £50 each but if they only spent £10 on me that would be fine as long as they had put some thought into it. I have just bought my friend a lovely glass vase in a gift box for £4 from morrisons. I will get her some nice flowers to go with it

rubylady Fri 25-Nov-16 04:23:59

My DS is only getting the ticket I bought him to go and see The Red Hot Chili Peppers next month, but that was enough really now that he has his student loans. Oh, and some Donald Trump toilet paper! grin

I think he's buying me something but mainly I buy myself things. I know what I like and I have had some disastrous presents over the years off family. One year my mother bought us all singing Shrek characters, great big things they were, why, I have no idea. Another year she bought the cheap version of the Slanket, but it was all scrunchy and awful. I'd have rather had a pair of bed socks! I don't see family now so I don't have that problem but my gifts are to the delivery men (bags of thank you chocolate Santas) and presents to my cleaner and anyone else who has helped me out this year, the pharmacy delivery man, lovely chap and maybe the postlady who struggles to bring my deliveries in all weathers.

ethelI would go down the making your own crackers and putting a promise in each one so that when they are pulled the recipient gets a night babysitting or a shopping trip or whatever they might like, their car cleaned, foot massage, take the dog for a walk/holiday time etc in it. Make enough crackers for all the adults and then it costs hardly anything (available online) and makes people happy when they receive their promise and lots of fun on the day. Just a suggestion. Then stick to buying for the grandchildren. smile

Marelli Fri 25-Nov-16 07:42:00

My lot are quite happy just to donate to the local Foodbank rather than buy OH and me presents. It's sort of released them from trying to find something for us! I checked with them that I would be giving to the Foodbank rather than giving them presents, and they were quite happy with that, too.
I will have to buy a couple of bits for pals, who will I know, have already bought me something though, and of course, my wee great-grandson will have a couple of toys and some new clothes.
I feel kind of 'released', if you know what I mean! smile

thatbags Fri 25-Nov-16 07:44:36

The adults in my extended family have what my mother calls a "non-aggression treaty". We don't buy each other presents. Saves a lot of angst. And money. And waste.

tanith Fri 25-Nov-16 08:39:20

Secret Santa for adults in our family young ones small gift and money I feel released by this plan and apart from wrapping 4 gifts and posting cards and one parcel I'm done.grin

harrigran Fri 25-Nov-16 08:43:24

I do know what you mean Marelli.
GC get gifts but not the adults.

Marmight Fri 25-Nov-16 09:45:00

As we will be so many this year, we are doing SS. I have to buy for 2 granddaughters and 1 daughter. £30 limit. Job done ??
Some years ago we had a £5 limit, but no SS, and everything had to be bought from a charity shop. Caused great hilarity and was fun to do.

radicalnan Fri 25-Nov-16 10:39:06

The anticipation of everything, even Christmas is the best bit, the reality is an anti climax and after the day we all sit around wondering why we spent the equivalent of a nice holiday on crap.

I don't buy for adults at all. I buy good second hand stuff for the kids where possible. Give people the gift of a stress free future by making Christmas affordable and to be anticipated with hope rather than a huge worry.

We don't need stuff! By and large we already have too much stuff.

Spence money on some tickets for a film / show /santa visit and make some decent memories, which won't be in the bin by New Years eve.

We are being hi jacked and manipulated by commercial interests.

Tis the season to be jolly, the light starts returning, the earth begins to warm a little, spring is on the way, for some a saviour is born......who needs bloody presents???

ElaineRI55 Fri 25-Nov-16 11:24:55

We choose things from (seven) grandchildren's Amazon wish list, but set a limit for ourselves across Christmas and birthdays. Try to find items at best prices/use discount codes etc.
Two nieces ( both over 18) get small gifts. Agreed ages ago not to exchange Christmas pressies with our adult siblings. Children and their partners are told not to get us anything ( can bring a bottle of wine/box of chocolates if they want),and we usually get them restaurant vouchers ( using Tesco x4 boost ). Keeps it all within a set budget.
Obviously many of us have experienced the cost and/or hassle of Christmas shopping making it a stressful, rather than joyful time, but folk have shared lots of ways to keep it under control smile

Blondie49 Fri 25-Nov-16 11:46:48

I only have 2 kids with spouses but 7 grand kids. The g/k on one side get masses of toys from dil extended family ( and their house is like a toy shop already ) , g/k on other side are older and both sets live about 300 miles away. Last year decided on a plan, wee £5 gifts for everybody ( this year thru amazon as postage getting extortionate ) and lump sum to both families for a splurgey day out of their choice. Seems to work, well certainly got no complaints last year :-)

grandMattie Fri 25-Nov-16 12:29:46

when the DC were students we had this £5 limit per present per person. Now DGs have arrived it is a complete OTT fest. Very hard.
Also DD expects us to spend a fortune on her sprogs when, although comfortable, we aren't that well off.
I wish we could start again ethelt

Legs55 Fri 25-Nov-16 12:31:34

I don't have as many people to buy for as many of you only DM who I'm going to visit before Christmas (she lives 300 miles away) & we will go shopping when I visit, as she's 87 she will decide what she likes/wants.

DD is pregnant (due May) so it's going to be money for new clothes & small gift. DD's OH is a Liverpool FC Fan & I've been buying pin badges throughout the year to split between Birthday & Christmas + small gift.

DGS - game for PS3, Books (Nanny always buys books) which he loves, jigsaw (map with all UK Football Teams) + stocking.

Small gifts for a few friends. Sorry for those of you who are struggling with buying gifts, I used to have to shop for all MiL's gifts on a limited budget - challenging but good fun grin

Barmyoldbat Fri 25-Nov-16 15:49:26

Last year I was home for Christmas so made the 4 teenage gc and one boyfriend a stocking each, decorated it and put their name on. I then fill it with all sorts of stuff from charity shops and whereever. I also put a small gift voucher in it. The youngest gc I take out on a shopping trip and lumch after Christmas as she has a birthday in January. This year, as I am away given my son (who has all the gc) some money to take them ten pin bowling.

Lindajane Fri 25-Nov-16 16:04:14

With DH, 2 DD and 2 SILs we just buy one pressie (secret santa) for one person and whatever we want for the grandchildren. It's always fun and no stress. Some years we have a theme (last year was hand made or second hand), this year we decided £40 and that's it. We always agree on an amount so it doesn't get too silly.

LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Fri 25-Nov-16 16:33:47

We've got some DIY gift suggestions here which might be helpful.