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Sharing Christmas

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Deedaa Wed 07-Dec-16 21:20:21

We are splitting Christmas this year. Previously DD and DS and their families have come to us on Christmas Day, but the children are getting too big for everyone to fit round the table and DH can't cope with the noise of everybody. DD and her family will come for lunch on Christmas Eve and DS and his will come on Christmas Day. Then we go to DD on Boxing Day for GS2's birthday. Complicated but hopefully it will work.

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rosesarered Wed 07-Dec-16 21:12:38

You said it yourself... they are a close knit family.Your DIL's parents will always come first, it's just a fact of life.If you have a daughter then you would come first.This should not mean that you are cast into the outer darkness(so to speak). I would accept your son's offer of coming to see you on Christmas morning, he sees his baby every day, and his house is full of relatives to play with the baby.Perhaps next year will be different for you, and you will be asked to stay overnight.Sleeping on a sofa is something to put off unless in an emergency.Don't make such a fuss that your DIL will be angry and resentful with you.

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tanith Wed 07-Dec-16 21:04:15

Families eh! I'm afraid once partners and children are added to the mix it seems that someone will feel aggrieved at arrangements for Christmas or other celebrations.
Could you not join them for lunch on Christmas Day? and then spend a few hours with them.
Maybe you may have to accept it this year and hope you can make a different arrangement for next year. Please try not to feel too bad towards your son he's between a rock and a hard place trying to please you all and not upset anyone.

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MarySunshine Wed 07-Dec-16 20:55:40

Just wondering how others share out the Christmas cos Im feeling pretty upset right now about how ours is being shared out.
This year is baby's first and I would like to be a part of it.
DIL comes from a very close family who go OTT at Christmastime.
Until baby came along DIL used to stay overnight Xmas Eve with her family and my son used to stay with me. He would then go to her house after dinner and spend the rest of his day with her family and that worked out well for us for the last five years.

As I have to work Boxing Day, we arranged that we had 'an early Christmas' on Xmas Eve and I stayed with them overnight and came home Christmas morning. DIL's family could then spend the rest of Christmas Day and Boxing Day with them and we would all get to share the baby's first Christmas.
My son has now changed this and said they will come to mine instead on Christmas Eve but go home early evening as her family are now staying Christmas Eve at theirs. They are staying until the day after Boxing day.
This means I am going to be on my own for the whole of Christmas Day, while her family get to stay at my sons flat for Christmas.
Her family live nearer to them than I do, its just they cant put me up as well. When I said I was happy to stay on the sofa for the night I was told her Grandad would be sleeping on that and her Mum and sisters in the spare room ..

I want to say something. In fact I have said something but all my son said to me was well you know what her family are like .. He says if I am too upset then he will come and see me Christmas morning but I dont want him to miss out on being with his baby.

Just wondering really what others have done in a similar situation.

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