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AIBU

Table manners

(101 Posts)
Lellyb Fri 06-Jan-17 19:15:42

There we were - four adults, all in their sixties on holiday, in a restaurant for a new years eve dinner. Not for the first or last time during that week, the other three whip out their mobile phones and proceeded to either text, check their Facebook accounts, or take photos and then send them to all and sundry... with an occasional comment to the others between their electronic message, and whilst I'm sitting there expecting them to socialise with the people they're with rather than the ones they're not.
Sooo, am I unreasonable to expect them to have manners and stop bl**dy expecting them act like grown, well behaved adults and not like teenage kids with the latest electronic toy?

Grrrrrrr...........

MissAdventure Thu 23-Feb-17 12:13:38

Well, I'm sure nobody at all would object to that. We've all had times when its essential to stay in touch.

BeBeatrix Wed 22-Feb-17 22:52:52

Please come to this lunch/dinner WITHOUT any mobile phone. If you are so attached to your phone that you cannot leave it alone for a couple of hours while we enjoy a meal together then do not come.

This judgemental and inflexible approach is just as rude as using one's phone in company!

When my father and I were caring for my mother through 5 years of Motor Neurone Disease we each were able to go out with peace of mind, knowing that the one at home could contact us via mobile phone if my mother had a bad turn, and both of us were needed.

I was polite about it - I'd warn and explain to others around the table, and I'd just glance at it inside my bag when it vibrated, and only actually read a message if I saw it was from my father. It didn't disrupt the conversation any more than checking my watch.

But I was not overly attached to my phone. I was attached to my mother.

Norah Wed 22-Feb-17 18:28:19

As long as I am not affected, by loud talking, I don't really care.

grandMattie Wed 22-Feb-17 09:43:41

mrsmopp, eating with a fork only in the right hand is also continental. The French eat with a fork and use a piece of bread as "pusher". I do that - but no-one has glared at me or said I was eating American style. Perhaps they are scared to smile

harrigran Wed 22-Feb-17 09:29:39

It is clear that table manners are not taught at home now, the number of young people who have no idea how to hold a knife and fork is worrying. I have also seen people in soap operas eating with implements held like daggers, wouldn't you think it would be pointed out that civilised people do not eat like cavemen.

mrsmopp Tue 21-Feb-17 14:05:28

A group of us were in a restaurant and I was surprised to see an English girl, eating American style. She cut up everything on her plate, put the knife down, put the fork in her right hand and sat there stabbing her food. Is this a new thing ? I would prefer people to eat with a knife and fork, traditionally. Unless you are having spaghetti for example. Or using chop sticks. But you get my drift...
Good grief, we will be drinking mugs of coffee in the street next! ?

Witzend Mon 20-Feb-17 19:27:25

I thought this was going to be about people eating with their mouths open and making pig noises!
We had a friend who was so bad in this regard, that there would be a surreptitious fight NOT to sit opposite him in a restaurant.

I do agree about phones at the table, though. Some people are so addicted to their smartphones, they can't be separated from them for five minutes.

mrsmopp Sat 11-Feb-17 18:22:30

Cartoon I saw.
Couple in restaurant, dithering over the menu.
Helpful waiter says, "the paella photographs really well!"

Norah Sat 11-Feb-17 17:34:57

I wonder who looks at all the meal and food photos? Every time we're in a restaurant adults take pictures and read phones. Funny that.

mrsmopp Sat 11-Feb-17 17:00:47

? ha, they probably just posted a photo of their dinner!

MissAdventure Sat 11-Feb-17 10:50:52

Mrsmopp,
I expect they all posed for a lovely selfie afterwards, and posted it up to show what a great time they had!

mrsmopp Sat 11-Feb-17 10:15:11

We were in a restaurant the other evening and a family of four were at the table next to us, mum dad and two teenagers. All four of them spent the whole time glued to their screens for the whole time. We couldn't believe it. I think one said pass the salt and that was it. What a strange world we live in. It was bizarre. Incredible.

thatbags Mon 09-Jan-17 22:25:11

Good point, farnorth! I wonder if some people's social awkwardness is worse at meal times than at other times and so the phone is a kind of support?

Just chucking ideas into the arena.

thatbags Mon 09-Jan-17 22:21:47

I would normally have my mobile off when at a meal or in some other social group setting, but if I were waiting for a particular call and it came during a meal I'd excuse myself and take the phone elsewhere (a bit like answering it in the hall — see up thread) to converse. This is quite different from having a phone on the table while you're eating and keeping an eye on it for messages and even replying to them. As for passing a phone around for everyone to have a chat, I've always thought that a bit weird.

I had an American friend in Oxford who thought it was the height of rudeness to call anyone, except in an emergency, after about 9.30pm. We got along very well wink

FarNorth Mon 09-Jan-17 22:16:07

I wonder why those people didn't have time during the rest of their holiday to text, facebook etc. confused

GrandmaMoira Mon 09-Jan-17 21:49:28

I agree that it is very rude when out with friends. Why arrange to meet unless you chat and socialise together? I would answer my phone if I got a call because it could be urgent as I don't use my phone much, and I might take a photo but more likely it would stay in my bag. It does surprise me that a group of older adults does this. I thought it was only teens and young adults.

Elegran Mon 09-Jan-17 14:28:41

Actually, I'll qualify that. She always rings me at some point on Christmas Day, and that sometimes happens to be when we are all sitting eating. On that occasion, we pass the handset round the table and all take a short turn at chatting while the rest get some food down. But that is an exception.

Elegran Mon 09-Jan-17 14:25:14

thatbags when the telephone was in the hall, someone briefly left the table to answer it and came back as soon as the call was deralt with, the whole tableful of people didn't stop their conversation to eagerly chat to the caller.

When I phone my daughter dahn sarf, I ring the landline. They seem to be eating when I ring, three times out of four (all at different times) She says "I'll ring you back" and I wait until they have finished to have my chat.

Greyduster Mon 09-Jan-17 14:14:09

If our landline rings any time we ignore it unless there is a message on the answerphone, or I recognise the number. No message, no ring back. We get a lot of nuiscance calls and we're fed up with them.

rosesarered Mon 09-Jan-17 13:23:16

If our landline rings when we are having a meal we ignore it.If it was important then they would ring back.

thatbags Mon 09-Jan-17 13:16:23

I agree that most of the time mobiles should be set to not disturb one during social events like meals. We forbade Minibags from bringing her phone or iPad to mealtimes.

And yet, when households only had one telephone, usually in the hall, and it rang while the family was having a meal, was it not the case that someone got up and answered it?

Elegran Mon 09-Jan-17 09:58:33

It is not the technology that is ruining life nowadays, it is the fact that no-one puts their foot down and says that the technology comes second after communicating directly with people who are actually there in person.

trisher Mon 09-Jan-17 09:21:58

No one n my family is allowed a phone at mealtimes. Teenage GS now berates his mum and dad if they try to take a call or text!

DS64till Mon 09-Jan-17 08:59:33

I believe technology is actually ruining Family life and the worst thing is we are actually letting it. Kids are being allowed phones and tablets from an earlier age and it's stopping families from interacting. Off to get a signal blocker !!!

Penstemmon Mon 09-Jan-17 08:08:43

I am using my nob atm but out with friends,when I am eating etc. No! I use it az a camera so I might take a pic with it if with pals but not use it as entertainment.