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Table manners

(100 Posts)
Lellyb Fri 06-Jan-17 19:15:42

There we were - four adults, all in their sixties on holiday, in a restaurant for a new years eve dinner. Not for the first or last time during that week, the other three whip out their mobile phones and proceeded to either text, check their Facebook accounts, or take photos and then send them to all and sundry... with an occasional comment to the others between their electronic message, and whilst I'm sitting there expecting them to socialise with the people they're with rather than the ones they're not.
Sooo, am I unreasonable to expect them to have manners and stop bl**dy expecting them act like grown, well behaved adults and not like teenage kids with the latest electronic toy?


grannylyn65 Fri 06-Jan-17 19:20:10

Agree 100%, said recently 'well, it was nice seeing your phone!'

Lisalou Fri 06-Jan-17 19:37:00

I agree entirely. I have to carry my phone for work and at times have to text clients, whether I like it or not, or take calls; I excuse myself and leave the table to take the call. If I am on holiday, I tend to leave the phone where I can neither hear it nor see the bloody thing!!!
You are not being unreasonable and your friends should know better, especially at their age. We expect it of teens and when my tribe start texting at the table, they hear it from me and their father! Phones are quickly put away.

Greyduster Fri 06-Jan-17 19:38:54

I hate that, and I have to say that on New Year's Eve, when we were at a friend's having lunch, DH had his phone in his hand a lot. Not at the table though, fortunately. His team were playing football and he had wanted to go, but we had already accepted the lunch invitation, so he decided to keep abreast of the match on his phone, with attendant emails going back and forth between him and DS. I have never known him do it before and I took him to task when we got home, as I was embarrassed.

paddyann Fri 06-Jan-17 20:26:10

should stack the phones and the first person to use theirs pays the bill.Its very ill mannered,mind you I hate mobile phones so much I gave mine up.I've gone back to the eighties when I go out NOBODY can contact me and its great.House phone is back in use for anyone who needs to speak to me and I FB msg my son and daughter from home

Lellyb Fri 06-Jan-17 20:36:32

I find it hard to believe that grown adults can't see how terribly rude it is. My partner was one of them and I've spoken to him about it privately and his response is that I'm the odd one out for not doing it and to stop moaning about it. I think the next time I go out with him/these friends I'll take my ipad or kindle and start to read a book or play a game. Perhaps that might provide the hint!

And I'm still boiling grin ....

annsixty Fri 06-Jan-17 21:19:15

I couldn't give up my mobile now, I find it is a lifeline but on the few occasions I go out, it stays firmly in my handbag, the only exception being if I want to take a group photograph.
My family would be guilty if I let them, I don't.

whitewave Fri 06-Jan-17 21:22:35

What is the point in going out with other people if you don't acknowledge their existence?

Marmark1 Fri 06-Jan-17 22:20:05

I've seen that many times in cafes and restaurants,all sat round the table engrossed in their mobiles.I think I would have to say something or go home and leave them to it.So so rude.

ninathenana Fri 06-Jan-17 23:25:27

Phones are not allowed at the meal table in our house. My friend keeps her phone on the table when we meet for coffee and will reply to a text or answer a call, much to my annoyance but she dosen't check e-mails or FB if she did I would comment angry Mine stays in my bag.

paddyann I couldn't give mine up. What would you do in the case of a breakdown when driving ?

harrigran Sat 07-Jan-17 08:27:05

My phone is so old it is steam powered grin so would never bring it out at a meal or any where else. I was out for lunch the other day and hadn't told anyone where I was going but there it was on FB for everyone to see because one of my dining companions had named me as being with her. I curse the day they made phones into computers.

Christinefrance Sat 07-Jan-17 08:48:37

Lellyb that was so rude of your companions, think I would have said something about it to them. What is the point of meeting up if you are glued to a screen. I deplore this modern habit of practically ignoring the person you are face to face with in favour of a screen. No screens allowed at our meal times.
I realise on occasions people are waiting for an urgent call or there is a problem but this should be explained and apologies made.angry

Maggiemaybe Sat 07-Jan-17 09:51:08

Oh dear. I've seen this so often in restaurants, but not yet amongst people of my age group. How sad if we've succumbed too to the idea that we're missing out if we're not constantly checking on what everyone else is doing or letting them know what we're up to. Apart from the sheer bad manners of this behaviour, I just thought we'd have more sense and know how to appreciate living in the moment.

JackyB Sat 07-Jan-17 11:24:00

My youngest (28) always flies off the handle at me when I look at my phone at the table. In his flat-sharing community, phones at the table are absolutely verboten.

Sometimes you have to: When out with friends we always show each other photos of our grandchildren which are usually on our phones. And I will look to check if the bus or train home is on time.

Mauriherb Sat 07-Jan-17 11:34:52

When my son and his friends go out they all put their phones in the middle of the table. 1st one to use theirs pays the bill. ! It's less effective now because they've all realised how rude and annoying it is

goldengirl Sat 07-Jan-17 11:55:42

It's rude. Being at the beck and call of a phone - unless you are on duty eg a doctor - is, in my view, unacceptable. We managed alright before mobile phones didn't we? Surely waiting a while hasn't gone out of fashion has it?

sunseeker Sat 07-Jan-17 12:11:22

I always wonder what is so important that you can't be out of reach for any length of time. When I go out my phone is switched off and in my bag and it stays switched off until I get home when I check for messages. Only if I am late or if someone I am meeting is late do I switch it on. Basically I only have it in case I break down whilst out or if there is an emergency.

I wonder if people are using their phones to hide the fact they have nothing to say to the people they are with? Haven't we all been in restaurants and seen couples eating in complete silence, never speaking to each other? Some years ago we were on holiday and a someone in a neighbouring apartment asked if we were recently married, I explained that we had been married for around 35 years at the time and she expressed surprise because she had heard us talking to each other whilst sitting on the balcony. She said she had been married for 10 years and had nothing left to say to her husband!

Ankers Sat 07-Jan-17 15:07:04

I suppose, dare I say it, that if you were all on holiday together, that that is a bit different to all going out together for a meal one evening at home?
On holiday, presumably, you all spent lots of time together?

rosesarered Sat 07-Jan-17 16:00:08

We have a mobile each for emergencies, just basic models.We go out with friends regularly, but have never experienced anyone getting a phone/device out.

PRINTMISS Sat 07-Jan-17 16:31:52

To all these folk who say "I could not give up my mobile phone" What did you do before they were available? We always managed to meet up on time at the right place, and enjoy our friends company, the arrangements had been made beforehand, we REMEMBERED them. Nothing else got in the way of what we were doing, which is what mobile phones do these days; they appear to be a constant interruption into so much which is going on. Needless to say we have one by the side of the bed for emergencies, and another in the car likewise.

Lupatria Sat 07-Jan-17 20:45:32

my mobile stays in my bag when i'm out with friends - unless i need to show photos.
at home mobiles are banned from the dining table where we all eat as a family in the evenings - even at weekends when we use the dining table for breakfast and lunch.
this rule applies when the family are eating out at any time.
family consists of myself, daughter and two grandaughters and we always find lots of things to talk about.

inishowen Sun 08-Jan-17 09:25:23

My daughter in law said she wanted to take a photo of her family on Boxing Day. She had to tell them to put away their phones first. As soon as she took the picture they went back to their phones. Seriously she is worried about the effect this obsession is having on the children. She and my son are making an effort to keep phones out of sight, and out of use from now on.

Collgirl1 Sun 08-Jan-17 09:25:53

If so many of us think it is rude, who are all the people who think it OK?
We had our local MP to lunch a year ago when there was no mobile or broadband access: he put his phone down on the table in front of his plate and surreptitiously glanced at it at intervals. No, it didn't ring and it was not for another year before mobile coverage arrived.

Nanamel1965 Sun 08-Jan-17 09:29:27

I have a no phone policy at the mealtimes in my home and that filters to eating out as well. Mealtimes are supposed to be sociable and a time to come together to catch up with each other. We have great conversation and fun this way.

Yorkshiregel Sun 08-Jan-17 09:31:39

100% with you on this. It is just plain bad manners. I would have been tempted to get up and walk away. It is ok to have your 'phone for emergencies when in company, but to chat to someone else while you sit there is like saying you are not important enough to talk to when I can talk to whoever is on the phone. As for updating their Facebook page or sending your photo to anyone without permission well that is just not on. How did you keep your calm? I think maybe you should have said 'How about putting all 'phones away at the table? After all we don't often get the chance to talk do we?'