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AIBU

Am I being Mean?

(134 Posts)
Mauriherb Sun 05-Feb-17 19:03:15

There were some young people in our supermarket packing bags to raise money to pay for a sponsored trip to Killimanjaro. They were raising money for a worthwhile charity, but needed £2000 each for the trip. I asked one of them why they couldn't do a sponsored walk in this country costing maybe £500, then give the charity the surplus £1500. I was met with vague looks and I politely said that I was happy to support the charity but didn't see why I should pay for them to travel . They clearly thought I was being mean ......is this the case ?

Nanna58 Mon 06-Feb-17 19:36:49

Not 'a jolly' at all! My daughter went on a world experience trip like this at 17 and it was the making of her. In Kenya they helped build a school, learnt to budget, bought, and in the case of a chicken or two killed, their own food, and climbed Mount Kenya. She raised half the funds, cleaning, silver service waiting , and a sandwich making service for teachers at her school, and we matched the amount. She grew up on that trip - invaluable!

notanan Mon 06-Feb-17 20:25:31

She grew up on that trip - invaluable!
Nobody on here is doubting that these trips are good for the people who go on them… the questioning is whether or not they're a good/efficient way to support the places that are hosting them!

trisher Mon 06-Feb-17 20:25:58

Nanna58 congratulations to your daughter, but as you say she worked to raise the money. That is admirable and very different from packing bags and extorting money from people who may very well be worse off than you.

cassandra264 Tue 07-Feb-17 07:15:02

Hi Linsco56 and everybody - my son did the World Challenge thing too when he was 16. - and it was thoroughly worthwhile experience for him. He earned money for it over 6 months prior to the trip cleaning neighbours' cars, weeding gardens etc. and we paid the rest. The money his group raised was spent on building an adventure play area and providing equipment for children in deprived areas of the country they were visiting.He was taken by his (adult and experienced) group leaders - and the Masai - to wild areas 25 miles from the nearest road and learned to fish and forage for food, as well as doing a climb of Mount Kenya.

He learned that if you do not plan properly,and make sure you have the right equipment, you can put people's lives in danger. He learned that teamwork is essential on a project if it is to succeed.He learned to take responsibility and to find his way around - previously,getting across his home city in daylight without getting lost had occasionally been an issue! And he learned leadership skills, and to cope with emergencies.

He is now a senior paramedic and has made a difference to many people's lives.
Give young people a chance, I say smile

Anya Tue 07-Feb-17 07:21:17

Mauriherb in response to your question ...yes, you are being mean and you are casting a cloud over the efforts of these young people. Shame on you.

Yorkshiregel Tue 07-Feb-17 08:05:34

At least these young people were doing something worthwhile! They weren't just hanging about street corners and causing trouble were they? Give them a break. They were learning that if you want something badly you have to work for it! What is wrong with that?

My son did exactly the same kind of thing with the British Exploring Society through school. Remember the boy who was killed by a polar bear? That is where he went. They were doing scientific work measuring the glaciers and other things so something worthwhile too. There were two of them from our local school and they went on the radio talking about what they intended to achieve in Norway. They gave talks to groups when they came back ie WI and Rotary Club etc. They did all kinds of odd jobs cutting grass, cleaning windows, cleaning cars etc etc. and it took an enormous effort on their part to raise enough to allow them to go.

Please do not put children like this down. Give them a break!

Yorkshiregel Tue 07-Feb-17 08:08:08

What became of those boys? One became a geneticist and the other an environmental scientist. Good experience for them both.

Yorkshiregel Tue 07-Feb-17 08:14:36

Just want to tell you about my 14 yr old grandson. He just completed a sponsored cycle race. It took 2 hours, in the dark, across the Yorkshire moors. They were monitored along the way to ensure they didn't get lost or harmed. They cycled for 17 miles off road which was a big achievement imo. He said would we mind sponsoring him (along with others) because as he told us 'You will get it all back because it is in aid of Help The Aged'! Cheek!

Badenkate Tue 07-Feb-17 08:45:28

I think some of you are missing the point of what concerns us. It's not the opportunity or the experience, it's the £2000 or so that has to be raised that does not go to the charity concerned but to some other organisation that is making a profit from organising travel etc. Our concern is that if £2000 (for travel etc) + £500 (for the charity) has been raised for one of these trips, then why can't £2500 be raised solely for the charity by an equally educationally useful experience in this country - which could well offer the same opportunities for learning organisational skills, appreciation of other people's problems etc etc.

Mauriherb Tue 07-Feb-17 08:48:18

If the youngsters in this case were going abroad to do charity work I would have been happy to support/sponsor them. But, they told me that they wanted to climb Killimanjaro to raise money for charity and I don't understand why they can't raise the money here without such high overheads. As I said before, if they had told me they wanted the money to go travelling I would have been happy to make a contribution but they said the expedition was costing £2000 and I feel that the charity would benefit from that. I always encourage young people to go travelling and I admire those who do charity work, but there was something about this that didn't seem right. Sorry if I have offended anyone

Yorkshiregel Tue 07-Feb-17 09:11:24

Perhaps you do not appreciate what a challenge Killimanjaro would be to someone so young? Pushing yourself to the limit will impress on you that if you want something you have to work hard for it.

Also, the district that Killimanjaro is in is impoverished so people going on trips such as this provides work for the locals so they benefit as well.

You have to be fit in mind and body to attempt to climb this mountain. RAF and Army expeditions go every year to do the same sort of climb so why not youngsters when there is a spin off for some charity?

MaryBee Tue 07-Feb-17 09:16:05

Totally agree with you. Youngsters perhaps will start out for the adventure but will totally have their eyes opened and their hearts touched.

Yorkshiregel Tue 07-Feb-17 09:19:35

Also, just pointing out that some of the money raised by the children goes towards their teachers trip as well because they have to be accompanied.

The idea is to instil a feeling of belonging (to a team); comradeship; determination; positivity; responsibility; hard work; skill; endurance; leadership and strength of mind. All good life-skills which will enhance their chances of finding a job after leaving school or university.

I think these trips are worthwhile for all involved, and the charity benefits as well. If you don't feel you can help you do not need to contribute do you?

Yorkshiregel Tue 07-Feb-17 09:21:46

teachers' trip :-)

Yorkshiregel Tue 07-Feb-17 09:31:08

On the trip I mentioned that my son went on to Norway there was a white out blizzard and they were confined to camp. They were stuck for 2 days before anyone could reach them. He said what they don't tell you about Salopettes is that you have to take your top clothes off to use the loo because there is no trapdoor! Nor do they tell you about icicles that can form in minutes! Say no more. He actually wrote a postcard to me and OH because they were worried they would not be found, which I have kept safe...at the bottom he had written 'I want my Mummy'! He was 15yrs at the time :-)

They were all brought down eventually roped together. All you could see on the photographs was the top of the tent poles. It was in all the Norwegian papers so maybe some people might remember it?

These trips are not a jolly!

Mauriherb Tue 07-Feb-17 09:47:39

Yorkshiregel I understand what you are saying but there are many challenges/team building/survival enterprises in this country. Cycling from Edinburgh to Cornwall, walking the Pennines, climbing Snowden etc . This way they could get the experience and raise more for the charity.

FarNorth Tue 07-Feb-17 09:47:51

Charities advertise for people to do this kind of sponsored event.
The young people involved probably hadn't given it much thought and just believed if a charity says they want you to do it, then it's a good idea, as well as fun for them.

Jaycee5 Tue 07-Feb-17 09:57:12

Yorkshirel the local people don't often benefit. The porters do a very hard job for tips. They have a short life expectancy. Some people make a lot of money. Those doing the hard work don't.

Stansgran Tue 07-Feb-17 12:40:02

How about raising money to bring Children from Africa to experience the British way of life ! I'm impressed with the people who bring the children from Chernobyl over. I totally agre about the porters on Kilimanjaro . And those childrenin Norway did they put anone I danger rescuing them?

Anya Tue 07-Feb-17 14:24:33

Bah humbug to lesser challenges such as walking the frigging Pennines. Where is your sense of adventure FHS?

There's a whole wide world out there, so less of the dumbed-down and parochial.

This isn't the spirit that made The Empire Great ?????????

Yorkshiregel Tue 07-Feb-17 14:41:29

No, no children or adults were harmed in Norway. You cannot plan for the weather can you in a place like that. It can change in an instant. So much snow in no time.

Badenkate Tue 07-Feb-17 15:33:52

Yes Anya, there is a whole world out there, and we went and discovered it by hitch-hiking, back-packing, sitting like sardines in student trains, learning how to fend for ourselves, saving money until we had enough for the cross-channel ferry, working in vineyards or fruit-picking. We didn't expect to get it by asking people for money which would go to companies making a good living by sitting on the coat-tails of charities.
If you read the posts, then you will find that no-one is against young people experiencing different opportunities, what is the concern is the amount of money which has to be raised to give them the opportunity which could itself be going to the charity which they are supporting.

grannypiper Tue 07-Feb-17 15:36:22

I dont suppose they could support a local charity. Seems to me that that charity doesn't begin at home

Anya Tue 07-Feb-17 18:31:18

I have read the posts and some of them don't surprise me given the age and demograph of this site! Just pleased that not everyone falls into the GOW category.

Anya Tue 07-Feb-17 18:33:46

Charity begins at home! The war cry of the xenophobic hmm

I'm watching starving children on the news as I write this. South Sudan. Shall we let them starve then Grannypiper?