Am i being selfish and unkind???

mumofmadboys She rang yesterday but I was working, then she sent message so I took cowards way out and sent her message back saying we're away the weekend they plan to come and then we're having work done on house but haven't heard anything since

Stick to your guns Ziggy, they are taking advantage. No need to feel guilty you have done your bit for them in the past. Surprising how long house renovations can take!

If you never hear from them until they want to book a holiday then you are definitely being used. Don't allow these relatives to take advantage, stop the rot now.

Are they definitely coming this year then?

I think what really annoys me if she only calls every Christmas to ask if they can come in the spring, then she calls (as she did yesterday ) to tell me she is about to book flights. We never hear from them the rest of the year, in fact I always have to call to make sure they arrived home ok. I guess I just feel like we're being used and taken advantage of

he doesn't drive anymore and they do go out and about on the bus when i'm working

Can you suggest they hire a car so they can take themselves out and about?

oh forgot to say last year she did buy me a bunch of flowers and he bought me 3 tomato plants

thanks for replies. Yes they take us for one pub meal while they are here. Neither of us order a drink just a main course and last year I had them complaining about the cost . I think it was £70 for 4 of us. They really like the Chinese takeaway in our village and last year they said they would pay for it one evening. As the delivery man appeared they gave me the exact amount of money for their food, we paid for our own. When we are out and about (usually shopping)we go for coffee or lunch and they order food/drink then wait till I pay for it. My father is buried over here and its a 2 hour drive but she expects me to take her every year with no offer of petrol money and of course we have lunch while we're out

No you are not being selfish, if it is not convenient for you then you have the right to refuse. You should not have to put up with thoughtless guests, when we visit DD we take them out for a meal every day.

No, life is too short to put up with that. Does she not put her hand in her pocket to take you out for a meal to at least say thank you? They are taking liberties when staying with you.

I don't think so. If your aunt costs loads extra for her free holiday, I think you are right to put her off.
If she insists, just say that the new house/job/DH are stretching your finances, so unless she coughs up for the dinners/airport runs/hot water, you will be unable to entertain her in future.
If, she is also boring, why put up with it?

No your not.
Personally I think they're taking liberties inviting themselves every year. You have accommodated them until now, you deserve a year off.
I would suggest you invite yourselves to visit them for a holiday but it sounds as if it would be wasted fares