worried about safety re: DH and grandchildren

Be careful that oarents do not cut you off from child to keep your husband away.

My DH has a medical condition, the medication for which slows his thinking and reactions. This post sounds very familiar to me. I have therefore accepted that I am the one doing the childcare and I look after the child's safety and welfare. This prevents any arguments or loss of confidence for the GF.

I read a poster once that said "women dont want equality, they would never allow men to get that far"

He's not safe or sensible caring for a child and he's not taking any responsibility either. You can't leave him with the child and I think you have ton tell him and the parents that....you cant take this responsibility all on your own. I sympathise , such a difficult situation for you

I don't agree with the attitude that modern mothers are inferior at parenting compared with grandparents. Some parents are good, some not so good. Attitudes such as that perhaps explain the increasing estrangement. Nor do I agree that men should be given an easy ride around childcare and housework simply because they are men. However, if you have concerns OP, perhaps looking after the child in their house would help.

Mind you, having said that, he was a life guard in his youth and he's stayed very alert since so maybe that's why he saw the child when no one else did.

My husband saved a little girl from being hit by a car once. He was the only one who noticed she'd left a nearby table, we were outside a cafe eating lunch, and suddenly he jumped up and raced to grab her so maybe some men are just not quite so aware while others are. When we're eating out today we see parents looking at their phones rather than noticing their children. And mothers walking buggies while looking down at their phones, don't get me started.
Today we can't say it's just a man thing.

I am not anti-men at all, but I have observed that men do tend to be less instinctively clued on to little ones - this may be conditioning, or due to the practicalities of them having been out at work and not had so much time around the children to gain that insight.

I know that I was always the one who was able to be one jump ahead of them and defuse difficulties or dangers before they arose.

Having said that my DDs had very special times with their Dad; and the GC do with Grandpa.

Some of the men hating women masquerading as 'feminists' need to sign up the the amoeba club.

This reminds me of a story told to me recently by my daughter. She was visiting her friend, her best friend, someone who she has known since the age of 9 and someone I know very well. The friend has a daughter aged 3 and half, who, when, my daughter arrived, was stirring a pot that sat on top of a gas cooker, at some point, the daughter lifted the wooden spoon and burnt herself. I was flabbergasted. I know the friend, and her husband, they are doting parents, to the point of being annoyingly over the top about chilcare (breastfeeding to the age of about two, not putting their child into nursery, etc.), I couldn´t understand how it had come about, them letting their daughter stand up on a chair next to a gas cooker. Apparently, they just hadn´t thought, she wanted to do it, so they let her. I, in my day, was quite relaxed about my children, but one thing, I would never have let them near is a flame or a cooker. So, welshmist, don´t blame your husband, just make sure it doen´t happen again

Yes, I must watch my attitude - I said to DGD2 (age 5) the other day when she grumbled about a boy in her class 'Well, darling, boys are aliens'.
She looked at me in astonishment and said 'No, they're not! Well, my Daddy isn't, anyway'.

LSP not LEP

As I said LEP
If you want equality and dignity for women, look to your own attitudes first

Plus retaining a sense of humour as well as proportion might be useful.
.

Luckygirl

Thank you MawBroon, I had forgotten that one (my brain must be addled with too much information )

Very funny and it gave me a good laugh.

Women have been oppressed by their biology for millenia
Not always, in some civilisations women were revered for their fertility and child-bearing and not all societies have been patriarchal.
Anyway, most women do not look on it as 'oppression' - more as a joy.

Also if a man does do a household task or look after his offspring then he is elevated to godlike status, often congratulated for babysitting his own children
that is just daft - most modern men pull their weight with chores and childcare.
There may be many older couples who followed the traditional route of husband out at work and wife/mother at home - which may well have suited them for years - and obviously most of the household chores and childcare would be done by the one who spent more time at home. It sounds as if welshmist and her DH followed this route.

Perhaps welshmist's DH is getting forgetful and not 'on the ball' - I don't know how old he is but having a small child around years after your own have grown up means you have to start thinking twice about all the things you may have taken for granted for years, ie having a hot cup of coffee by your side, frying an egg.
You either have to go through the house looking through the eyes of a child and make changes or look after them in their own home - or not at all.

Yep, feminist, that's me. card carrying and t shirt wearing!

or even out there!

MawBroon, sexism doesn't really work like that. Women have been oppressed by their biology for millenia with the whole of society and all major religions conspiring to make their life, as a class, intolerable.

Men, not so much.

Plus, it was a flippant comment, I apologise if I have offended you or any white males out their.

I worked in a brain injury service and that poster was on the wall along with all the serious maps of the brain - it used to raise a bit of an eyebrow when people came to meetings!

Love it! - the accents are spot on!

And for the sake of balance:

www.google.co.uk/search?q=toilet+aiming+cell&client=firefox-b&tbm=isch&imgil=WKL6QtJ6ktjjQM%253A%253B-28Z594wJNwZZM%253Bhttps%25253A%25252F%25252Fonsizzle.com%25252Fi%25252Fthe-male-brain-crotch-scanning-area-ball-toilet-sports-dangerous-2453210&source=iu&pf=m&fir=WKL6QtJ6ktjjQM%253A%252C-28Z594wJNwZZM%252C_&usg=__5X8thg4sVzUEtKtDjHEfDwpNUek%3D&biw=1138&bih=548&ved=0ahUKEwijzM3ets7SAhWKCsAKHdS8CTYQyjcIKQ&ei=KurDWKOPEIqVgAbU-aawAw#imgrc=WKL6QtJ6ktjjQM:

Gosh - that's a big link - I hope it works!

Based on the tenor of her other feminist posts,the comment comes across as more serious than Harry Enfield.
But here it is, as we could do with something lighter.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

I do not think that LumpySpacedPrincess was being serious in her comment Maw.

After the day I had with my DGS of 22 months yesterday I am of the opinion that he should be prescribed on the NHS - he is utterly adorable - good-natured (no temper - maybe that is to come!), cheerful, comical, loving and cuddly. We would do anything to make sure he is safe.

I know that my DD is happy for us to have a very close relationship with her children - when she arrived to collect him, she crept in and silently watched from the door as he was cuddling up on my lap reading. She was delighted that he was so content and she could see it happening and be reassured that he is happy with us.

He is indeed not our child Ankers, but he, along with the other 6, are special to us and we have a special and unique relationship with each of them. Not a parent/child relationship, but something to be treasured.

I am privileged that my DDs share their children with us and that they take delight in seeing their children relate to another adult who also loves them.

Maw' in my opinion when men are not good at childcare a lot of excuses are made for them. Bless, they are men, they may need time to bond etc

This is the beginning of IMO a truly objectionable post on a par with Harry Enfield's "Women, know your limits" sketch.
Bless, they are men absolutely sticks in my craw.
Patronising, generalising, sexist, smug - none of these come near. If for "men" you substituted "women, people of colour, Jews, Muslims, people with learning difficulties" you would be deafened (and rightly) by howls of protest.
If you want equality and dignity for women, look to your own attitudes first.