worried about safety re: DH and grandchildren

He was not around for his own kids, worked long hours so all childcare was left to me. I know men are more rough and tumble with children but his defensiveness to me is inexcusable, to blame me for a child running into the road that I had to chase and flag a car down or blame me for a frying pan is imo. unreasonable.

well you ARE alone !! I wouldn't let him near the child unless you are there . I am afraid I would alert the parents to the situation , and try and get OH to the GP for a Memory Test

Was he so casual with his own kids?

Other ways he is casual, well he allowed GS to go up the steps on his own from front door to drive, then DH wandered over to car, GS of course ran up the road, nearly got hit by a neighbours car as he came around the corner. No I have not alerted the parents am too worried they will not let us have him anymore. I just feel so alone in this grandparenting thing.

Poor you. You have one of those men who does things wrong and blames anyone but himself.

Are the parents aware of things?

Ignore my post about cutting him some slack then. The man sounds like he's enjoying winding you up.

A good way of getting out of childcare by the sound of it.

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In what other ways would you say your DH is casual around the two year old?

I am keeping my eye on things, frankly I just do not trust him, he is too laissez faire about the whole child caring thing. I worry about his driving these days, he has a few dings in the car and rages about stupid drivers huh!! When we take GS out in the car he races around does not indicate and shouts at others, so now I am going to drive. What sticks in my craw is that I am a nag and anything that happens eg hot coffee cups left around etc. is my fault.

I don't blame you for being angry with him and he's probably angry with himself so just thank your lucky stars your DGC wasn't hurt and don't labour the point or your DH will completely lose his confidence around the child.

Keep an eye on things though.

I would absolutely not leave a child in his care or in the kitchen whilst cooking if he is so lax.