Invited a friend and she's invited a friend - and we share the cost???

I would politely say, sorry but because you never responded earlier I have asked antoher friend (or family member) to join me, for the meal, I think she was very rude in making that suggestion anyway & would choke on the food lol, I would rather give the vouchers to a charity who are running a raffle than take her now

If you feel you cannot cancel, to get round it you could say 'Sorry I already spent the vouchers so I suggest we all pay for our own meal' That way you will not feel resentful. However, if it was me put on the spot like that I would be very cross, especially as you do not know the third person. Not very thoughtful of your friend I don't think. I like to spend my own money on whatever I like, not have others spend it for me.

Best idea Kate! as they say - K.I.S.S.

I would say it depends on your situation. If you have lots of friends and family around you then decide how much this friend means to you.
If you don't have lots of friends or socialise much then maybe you friend is doing you a favour. You may gain another friend. Maybe this other lady is lonely so your friend thought she would bring her along. Can you chat with your friend, find out what her relationship is like with this other person, how well your friend speaks of her. Then I would decide if I wanted to go or not. If you think you may be left out of the conversation you could always invite another friend along and splitting the bill may become less attractive to all. Bottom line, don't go if you don't want to.

A bit of a cheek, but she probably didn't think the offer through from your side. Maybe the friend doesn't get out much due to finances, I would just let it go.

Be magnanimous,pay the bill yourself.You will never regret it.

This

I think she is cheeky but you never know when you might need friends.

Maybe she's just rubbish at maths/hasn't thought it through? She's your friend and it would be a pity to lose her over this. I'm with Jayanna, put it off till another time. Don't get involved in excuses or lies - not worth it.

Wow! Some people are so cheeky! I would respond by saying 'Sorry, not convenient for me. Maybe another time'.

Surely the extra guest will be expecting to pay for her own meal though? I bet your friend hasn't even consulted her . It's thoughtless of her to bring someone you don't know along, but that's just how some people are. She was kind when you needed her, which is what counts.

I'd go along with it and enjoy your meal. Who knows, you might just make a new friend.

Tell her you have already spent the vouchers

You can never know too many people, so the friend may be an assett to you........who knows?

Pay a third of the lunch it will be next to nothing, you may get a new friend or at least a decent lunch and make someone who was kind to you happy.

It may work out differently on the day anyway,I don't suppose the friends are without their sensibilities. Think of it as an investment in future good karma.

I feel the same as others in here. I would rearrange the date for just the two of you. Or ask her friend to pay a third.

Be magnanimous,pay the bill yourself.You will never regret it.

Agree with all the above. I assume you don't know your friend's friend very well, if at all. You could say "I think I'll let you spend the day with your friend - you must have a lot to catch up on. We'll leave the meal for another time." I suppose it's more down to thoughtlessness rather than bare-faced cheek on your friend's part, so it would be a shame to cause a rift by saying what you really think!

I think it is wrong that you are being asked to contribute. I think they should split the cost between the two of them...

In the whole scheme of things is it worth all this worrying.....if you try and change the date then your friend will probably read between the lines and it may result in the friendship "cooling off" a bit in the future. If you consider her a good friend and you think she has made a statement to you about bringing along her friend and using your vouchers without giving it too much thought, then call her up and have a chat on the phone and explain your viewpoint.

But first off, just examine your friendship connection with her a little deeper and once you have decided if you value it (or you don't) then you'll be able to make the best decision on what to do and what to say simply based on that.

hmmn....this comes down to being assertive and when I was at work the hardest thing for women of our age to do - say 'no', just 'no' when we don't want to do something. Our company had to put on special women only training (another fault is being timid in asking for something for ourselves, eg pay increase hence the disparity which I believe is around 18% in men's favour to date?). We always add a clause in mitigation or fib for fear of offending, looking mean etc etc. It's hugely liberating and I so admire a friend who was very senior in a £multi million corporation who can do it briskly, with a smile and no one takes offence. She closes any avenue for someone to come back. In this case I'd just say, thanks for the suggestion but the offer was for you only. If you wish to reschedule a date let me know. End of.

Well, I'm wondering what the 'friend of the friend' is like. Personally, if I were that person, I would pay for my own meal and not expect the other two ladies to chip in at all, vouchers or not. Is the original friend just making an assumption?

I have a friend who complicates arrangements like this, I think because she can't say no to people. Last time I arranged to see her, it ended up involving going to all sorts of other things to fit round her day, including going for a coffee on my own while she did something else! So in the end, I just said 'It sounds as if you're too busy to see me' and rearranged. I think it's weird of her to want to chip in for a shared meal with someone you don't know. You've invited her for a meal, not her friend!

Just be "busy" that day. No need for any conflict with your friend. The whole thing will pass unremarked.

I agree with Jayanna and FarNorth, just reschedule. I find people are often quite mean when it comes to paying a shared bill and this really alters my opinion of them. The enjoyment of the meal is marred if there is a niggle over the bill.

Why are so many people suggesting the OP should make an excuse.

Why not be straightforward, as Jayanna suggested?

Just say you'll reschedule for a date she's not busy with another friend.

What a cheek ! , I would do as Harrigran suggests . Unless she is very thick skinned she will `get it` that you are not impressed .

A bit presumptuous of your friend to make suggestions of how you spend your vouchers I think, is she going to be doing the driving? If she is providing you with transport there and back, I might possibly go along with the suggestion (for a quiet life), and if it wasn't too expensive a place.

If on the other hand I thought I was getting taken advantage of, I would just say something had cropped up and so you would have to cancel!

The OP has two vouchers for a free meal. Rather than have two separate meals on her own she has invited a friend who has been helpful to join her. So far so good.

This friend then decides, unilaterally, to bring another friend, not known to the OP and then expects the OP to contribute to the cost of this friend's meal?! I call that being brass necked. If the third person comes they should pay for their own meal.

Personally, I would find some reason to cancel the lunch (you hadn't realised vouchers had expired?) and then invite a another friend with better manners to lunch.