Invited a friend and she's invited a friend - and we share the cost???

Think I would say , by all means bring your friend , but I will keep vouchers for another time , it might not have been so bad if she had just asked if it was Ok to bring her friend but to mention the vouchers is very bad mannered, they are yours to decide on the use of not hers!!

How complicated. Just say, lets re schedule when it's just the two of us.

Yes just tell your friend honestly that you just wanted to spend time with just the two of you and say we can rearrange the meal for another time soon.I think honesty is best.

Yes just tell your friend honestly that you just wanted to spend time with just the two of you and say we can rearrange the meal for another time soon.I think honesty is best.

I agree with Jayanna and PamQS,tell your friend you will reschedule when she isn't busy with another friend.

Explain you only had vouchers for that particular day and don't have them regularly. Is there any reason why your friend couldn't get her own vouchers for herself and her friend? I'd say it was pushing friendship a bit far if she expects you to subsidise her and her friend.

Surely, if she has been a friend for 35 years, as you say, she wouldn't have expected anything for taking you to the hospital as you have probably done her favours in the past anyway. Offering to pay for her petrol and covering car parking costs would have been enough.

I would say that you wanted to share your good fortune in getting vouchers because you didn't expect to get a reimbursement from the restaurant after the cancellation but that you don't understand why that would extend to paying towards a stranger's meal that you hadn't expected to be there!

That's very cheeky of her; I think my reply would be 2s company 3s a crowd x

I think you have been diplomatic Clematisa. What I don't understand is why one would tell someone else how to split a bill before you've had the meal! Surely the question should have been "Do you mind if I bring a friend?" It's definitely "a rummin' " .
Maybe put yourself in your friends shoes and ask yourself if you would have done the same thing.
Don't forget to let us know what she says

This reminds me of a time when we invited a mutual (female) friend over for Sunday lunch. We know her through a sport that we all play and she lives about an hour from us and is always complaining about being lonely and not having friends, etc. Anyway, it took us ages to find a date that we could all do and after she'd agreed on a Sunday with us, she emailed to say she was going to have a friend staying with her that weekend so would it be OK if she brought her along too!!! (someone that we had never me, to have lunch at our house - and this from someone who has no friends, is lonely, etc!). I feel really peeved! In the end, I emailed her back to say 'If you have a friend staying, why not enjoy the weekend with her and we can rearrange our Sunday lunch with you'. In the end, she came anyway but minus the friend - because her friend ducked out (probably realising it would be rather rude!!). So people can be very thick-skinned! I would do as others have advised and just say something along the lines of 'I thought it would be nice, just the two of us - let's do it another time'.

I agree with PamQS, and say no I would rather schedule it for another time for just the two of us.

I actually found your friend incredibly rude, I wonder if you had suggested that the two of you go for lunch and split the bill whether she would have come! If she had you could have then produced the vouchers and said 'my treat', if she had declined to come her loss!!

Lessons learned all around.....

Good for you Clematisa. I reckon the link to the prices will do the job for you! Best wishes for a nice lunch for just the two of you sometime somewhere xx

Clematisa.....you should have mentioned that this was an old friend you have known for 35 years. I thought this person was someone you met casually when she offered you a ride. Disregard my previous advice. It wasn't meant to be amusing.

Her request is both rude and presumptuous. Rude because she's putting you on the spot and presumptuous because she's taking advantage of your generosity. To assume that she's naive and can't say no to people, should have no bearing on you.
You are under no social obligation to include and pay for an (uninvited, unwelcome and unknown) third party. How to get out of it? Cancel, end of story! You already compensated her for giving you a ride to the hospital. You can be honest if you want to, but she doesn't even deserve an explanation. I would say that something came up and there is now a conflict. Don't give her a 'rain check' and don't offer to follow up. She'll get the message she deserves.

I've so laughed out loud this afternoon at some of your suggestions... and am really glad I posted my dilemma on here, as I've had so many brilliant responses!
I have known this friend for at least 35 years and yes I know only too well how she can "put her foot in it!" big time and I'm thinking she really hasn't thought it all through.
Anyway I have messaged her to say I don't think that she has quite understood "the vouchers" and have re-explained that, I also sent her a link to the restaurant menu (which includes prices) and have left the dilemma up to her, as I haven't said either way if I'll meet her and her friend there for lunch.
So the ball is in her court now and I'll let you know how she responds, but I hope I was very diplomatic in my response to her.

As your asking for advice. Your obviously not happy with her suggestion, so just say how you feel.

I bet your friend doesn't realise the vouchers are a refund and not a freebie. I'd say you're a bit short this month, suggest going for a cheaper pub lunch when you can pay for yourselves and save the vouchers for another time and another friend.

Just take it easy and do it. No point getting upset, she sounds like a good person who hasn't thought it through! Enjoy meeting the new person, I am sure it will be lovely.

I dont understand her thinking at all! If you have already given her a gift for taking you to the hospital. And squared everything up regarding the meal you missed. You dont technically 'owe' her anything.

If she was making another arrangement for you to go for a meal with her and another of her pals; it is up to you to use your vouchers or not.

As for splitting the bill; the easiest way is how we always do it with family, we pay for our own meal/drinks and then add for a tip.

If you dont mind using the voucher/s then do it, but order you meal and drinks and they pay the balance.

Did you at any time say you would pay for the entire lunch with your vouchers ? In which case that would cover the two of you but not an extra one ....she has it would seem, been kind to you but you have more than 'paid' for that already ...to invite someone else is a cheek ! However you could explain that 'sadly' you have only two vouchers and your friend's friend would be welcome but you will not unfortunately be able to pay for her as well..... but if she wants to come basis that she will have to pay for her own lunch (however you choose to put it !) then it would be ok ........and you could offer a bottle of wine for everyone.

We used to go out in a group from work but everyone added up exactly what their meal cost and paid that amount so no one paid more than their share. Wine or drinks were split into percentages so we all paid towards the drinks and the tips !

I do feel your friend is being rather rude in not asking you before she seemingly asked her friend. If you are not happy then simply say you have changed your mind and are not feeling up to lunch just yet...and will arrange another lunch for just the two of you another time ...

Difficult one but surely your friend cannot be so isensitive !

I think that I might just go along with it this time . A nice meal out with an old friend and a new friend . To refuse the new friend might mean the loss of an old friend ?
I think she thinks that the vouchers are freebies and wants to join in the bargain - oops .

Sitting looking at the dilemma now I would like to think I would have said a bright "oh no, I was looking forward to us having lunch together. If that's a better day for x, you two go and we can organise another day".

Sadly, I think I would have agreed to her suggestion and been miffed. I think the last people we can be assertive with are long-term friends

I think it's a cheek too.

As you had, indirectly, paid for the vouchers I would divide the bill by 3 then deduct the £20 from your share. These were not free , if they had been it would be a different story

Darned cheek all round in my opinion. I suppose it depends on how gregarious you are, but I personally hate it if someone invites someone else along. I used to have a friend, years ago, who did this. One day when I thought we two were going bowling I found out that we were picking up four other people to come with us to make up a team.
I was so incensed that I made her stop the car and I got out.... in the middle of nowhere as it turned out and I had to get a bus home. Serves me right I suppose. But I still hate people who invite other people without any explanation beforehand.
As for the money/voucher side of it, well, words fail me.
Also, I've just remembered... One of my sons used to date a girl who played in a brass band. One day she turned up for a date, - accompanied, but un-musically - as it were, - by the whole band. The romance didn't last long!