To support Daughter Not Taking 2 year old Twins Camping

I think the main thing is that it is between DD and SIL and if she feels strongly that she does not want to go for whatever reason ie that the boys are too young this year then her in-laws should accept that.
Perhaps when they're 3 and potty trained? They will have a wonderful time!

But don't enter into it Grammy, just murmur 'whatever you think best dear, perhaps next year'.

Is it the camping she can't cope with or the family? If it's the camping she needs to let her husband know and suggest that if she pulls out this year next year he can take the twins and she can stay home. If it's the family it's more difficult, but perhaps she could cope with just a long weekend and say the twins will need a good nights sleep in their own home after a few nights.

I even heard myself say I would like to go camping with them later in the year

But did your DD hear you Jane? - let's hope not!

Personally I would take Stansgran option, let the family take them and your daughter can have a break. I would sooner stay at home and spring clean than go camping.I understand the financial implications and that some people actually enjoy it but with twin toddlers really ?
As others have said maybe a long weekend camping this year then increase the time when they are older.
Ultimately it's down to your daughter and her husband to work out a compromise.

Unfortunately she did River and she and MrA immediately started plotting where we would go!

Yes, this is the kind of post that raises a lot of questions; but I find that many families have unspoken 'expectations' about how members will behave and what they will do.

And yes, Christine, although I haven't camped with twins, we took all of ours camping from about 4 months old, so I have camped with 3 under 5s, and 4 under 7s (both parents present) and have been with my sister when we had 7 children between 2 & 10 with the two of us. We have camped in snow, pouring rain and sun, all over the UK and Europe. And if there was the odd evening that felt cold and damp, the magical places have made up for it. I feel fortunate to have had the experiences that I have, the people we have met, the places we have seen.

I write this, mainly to explain that camping, even with small children, is a positive experience for many - but the difference is that I make no such expectations of anybody else, and certainly don't impose them on my lovely DiLs or SiLs.

Neither am I writing to demonstrate how 'capable' I am - I have (for instance) never flown with any children (that I am responsible for) and quail at the thought of it. However, coping with anything unfamiliar or worrying needs explanation, communication and requests for / offers of help.

Good on you Nannarose you have my admiration, its just not for me, I like my comfort too much.

I am amazed at those who think the mum could stay at home while others take the twins camping. How could she relax in that situation? I certainly couldn't.

FarNorth I believe that the twins dad and gps would be watching them, no?

We all have different comfort zones, and there are times to venture outside them, with support, and times to retreat into them.

I would rather be camping with the twins than 'relaxing' without them!

As others have said, no way would I let my two year olds holiday without me!
The mother has decided she doesn't want to take them camping this year, so other family members should accept her decision, and just get over it, including her husband!

Did she like camping prior to having the children?

I love camping but it's not the same as a 5 star hotel all inclusive. There is a lot of work involved.

I wouldn't let any of mine go camping at that age away from me either.

The OP sounded to me that her DD wasn't getting enough help with her two year old twins, so preferred not to go. Is that the case Grammy6? I wouldn't go camping with two lively two year olds but then I don't like camping much either. DD asked me if I wanted to go this Easter with them, camping in the bush in Australia in autumn means cold nights, a hole in the ground toilet and no showers. I said no thanks!

It should be made clear whether
a) she doesn't like camping
b) she doesn't want the hassle of camping with the children
c) she doesn't want to go on holiday with the in laws
or d) any combination of the above
As we're all just guessing here.

I don't understand why some posters think the father not capable of looking after his children in this situation. Surely the caring role is not entirely down to mothers.

It's all very well saying that other people could look after the twins, at least for part of the time, but maybe the OP's dd knows that those others would be 'relaxed' about keeping an eye on them.
I'm sure we've all known such people. Little ones that age need watching all the time, and I can imagine that being exhausting in an open environment with very likely plenty of hazards nearby. Let alone sleeping arrangements without travel cots etc.
My dd has one of nearly 2 and one of 10 months and I am well aware that a traditional camping holiday would be no holiday at all for her - and she is a very relaxed, non fussy type.

I'm another one who doesn't really like camping, so I sympathise with Grammy6's daughter.
We used to camp regularly with our 4, and I went along with it . Enjoyed some parts of it. But was pleased when we graduated to Youth Hostels.
Our children loved it, and husband.

It's possible to take travel cots on a camping holiday - in fact absolutely essential I would have thought, both for sleeping and as a playpen.

Faye we have declined to go camping 'out bush' even though we were assured we would love it; however, many campsites have rooms too with ensuite facilities so family can do their own thing whilst the older ones can have a bit more luxury if desired. However, those new-style campervans are very luxurious.

Two year olds are at an age when everything is an adventure and they are fast on their feet but have no idea of danger. I have not yet a man who can stay focused on the needs of a 2 year old. My husband was about right when they were 8 years old and he could take them sailing in jackets whilst I made the picnic lunch.

could the group go to Center Parcs or some where like that for this year whilst the children are so young?

We camped with children aged 5, 3, and one. It wasn't even a modern tent, and there were just the two adults. The baby slept in a carry-cot (his feet and head brushing the ends) It was quite possible, and enjoyable, but we did need to be alert to where they all were, particularly when meals were being cooked. Two lively two-year-old twins can be a handful, and more adults are not necessarily an advantage - they could all be busy chatting when the children get into mischief.

It is a shame for them to miss ALL the fun, though. Perhaps they and their parents could visit the rest of the family at the campsite for a day, if it is near enough? That would give them some experience of "camping" until they are old enough to do it for real.

We still don't know the answers to suzied's questions which seem pertinent and we are all still guessing.

Is it a family holiday? Is her daughter part of the family? Is it going to be a holiday for her? It doesn't much sound like it. My daughter loves camping, as do her three children, but it's a personal choice, and with toddler twins I think even my daughter would be daunted. I think that the in-laws are being very selfish, unless of course they are planning on making sure that the daughter has a real holiday.

If your daughter thinks she won't be able to cope then she probably can't. They'll probably run off in different directions and tents etc haven't got fences round them. I've got twin GS and GD who are two and I can see the difficulty, she wouldn't be able to relax for a moment. One year older when they're three would make all the difference.

I agree farmgran, the mother obviously finds the twins a lot of work at the moment and imagines - quite rightly- that this campimg holiday will not be an improvement on being at home with all mod cons.
Chidren of that age don't need holidays its the mother that needs a holiday. Hubby should go on his own and then she won't have him to look after and cook for.