I still get irritated by this - AIBU to hate being referred to as a 'girl'...

Oh, my. I don't mind being called "girl". I suppose it depends on the context in which it is being used, but I would say used as a greeting, in a friendly way, is fairly harmless. It's not much different to referring to men as boys - again, it depends on the context in which it is being used. I'll often say to my friend "I wonder what the boys are up to" if they have gone somewhere. It's not said nor meant in a derogatory way. I think we have to use common sense.

Well I heard a child refer to me as an old biddy the other day - so on balance I think I prefer girl

Faye What is wrong with using the term Ladies?

I would say for example to my DGS
'please open the door for the Lady (or Ladles) Or
'Please open the door for the Gentleman'.

Have I got it wrong after all these years??

We have 3 DDs all in their 30s. When we refer to them collectively we say "the girls". Not derogatory as they are well aware that we are proud of the women they have become.

The OP says the young man came up to her friend to say Hi. So it sounds as if the OP didn't know him.
In that situation, I'd be mildly peeved by his Hi, girls, but I probably wouldn't say so.

There's no need for him to say girls/ladies/women/old bats at all.

I think that there are times when some people are happy to have an opportunity to be offended.

Gosh some people get insulted easily
I m happy to be referred to as a girl or anything else actually when I refer to myself sometimes as the old gal
I regularly go out to a girls lunch, my friends husband often asks if you girls had a good time ...what on earth is wrong with that
I will use the word guys and have no problem with a lads night out however old the lads are
Likening a woman being called a girl to a racial insult is about as daft as it can get and really devalues the dreadfulness of racism

To be honest I wouldn't have probably took a blind bit of notice,let alone get my knickers in a twist about it. The OP says he is a 'Nice man' after all.

I certainly wouldn't even contemplate such a comment had the intention of either patronising nor infantalising me.

I taught my children and have corrected my GC to call women women not ladies, let alone girls. Though when women refer to themselves as girls ie meeting the girls for lunch it sounds okay to me.

Years ago I decided to change letting agents to manage the rental on a house I owned. The manager of the first company phoned me to ask why and told me he had a good girl to manage my property.

That man referring to a woman as a girl sounded absolutely ridiculous to me. No one would ever refer to him as a boy.

I do understand why the OP felt offended, patronised and infantilised. As a younger woman I'd have probably responded in a not dissimilar way. These days I'd only rise to the bait if it was that, bait, an attempt to get a rise out of someone who is clearly an ageing feminist. (I have short hair and big earrings, always a give away). If it's some harmless, friendly chap I meet out walking my dogs, at Church, in the supermarket etc I'll respond in the friendly manner expected and avoid pointing out that calling a women who is almost 70 a girl is not necessarily what she'd want.
However, the majority of posts here say they wouldn't mind, some would actually like it. Ok, live and let live as we've been discussing on the politics thread (lol)

Hey, you guys!

That serves for both males and females and all the other genders there are supposed to be nowadays.

There. Problem solved. Not patronising, not assuming someone who looks like a female actually is female (ditto re males), etc, etc, etc. Totally PC and proper.

I dare anyone to object!

PS joke alert.

There were two women, presumably he knew them and their names, but referred to them as 'girls' - Not patronising?-really!

Our very nice Scottish newasgent always calls me "wee lassie" even though I am most definitely not "wee" nor a "lassie". The first time he said it I told him that it had been a very long time since I was either.

"Oh you're a wee lassie to me" he said with a smile and a wink and so ever since that's what he calls me, even meeting in the street one day and saying "Hello there wee lassie"

I find it quite endearing, it makes me smile and it actually does make me feel a bit like a "wee lassie" again.

I do think some people are far too quick to take offence instead of enjoying something clearly meant as a pleasantry.

Depends on the context - I mean to say men are often referred to as 'the boys' or 'the lads', regardless of age.

What is the alternative, in group situations? 'Ladies'? Is that really any better. When I go out to anything with all the females in my family (age range 9 - 80) we talk about it as a 'girls day out' and the male contingent, similar age range, refer to their joint enterprises as a 'boys day out'.

I think it is a question of not what is said, but the way that it is said. Said by a man in that ingratiating tone that tells the women present they are meant to feel flattered by the compliment, sets my teeth on edge.Said as a generic group title for a group of women, doesn't bother me.

Trisher are you serious - really?
Soon we will be afraid to speak to others for fear of devaluing them or worse.

I really don't care if someone calls me a girl, a lady or an old bag! Seems to me that it is all about the tone and the intention of the speaker. From the description the OP makes of the situation, I doubt very much that it was intended to be patronising.

It isn't a question of if one can or can't be patronised thatbags but of if the intention is to patronise and I think the use of the word 'girls' is used by men as a patronising term..
merlotgran so seeing a remark as patronising isn't accurately reading the situation? It isn't always possible (or desirable) to understand and empathise with someone who is expressing a view one finds repugnant. I assume you wouldn't expect me to empathise with a racist comment?
Your children are of course your children, but in referring to them as such you presumably do not call them 'boys and girls"?

I don't mind being called a girl either. When I was nursing the elderly confused, the ladies there positively glowed when they were referred to as girls.

Does that make them children actually or just our offspring?

s

Oh yeah, don't some of us refer to our adults kids as "the children"?

One can't be patronised if one chooses not to be. Or something like that. Somebody famous said. It's true.

Not meant for you Merlotgran

Blimey !! ?

Found this online:

Social awareness allows you to accurately read situations and people because you are able to understand and empathize with their emotions

I think you're the one who needs a bit more social awareness, trisher