Gransnet forums


I still get irritated by this - AIBU to hate being referred to as a 'girl'...

(279 Posts)
Carolghill Sun 30-Apr-17 17:35:35

Okay. At church today a rather nice chap came up to a friend of mine to say hi. Nice. But he said 'Hi Girls'. My friend is 50 and I'm coming up to 65. I just said nicely - X,,, I am not a girl - I am a woman. He looks nonplussed. He says he means it as a compliment that we look good still!


I pointed out that at almost 65 I am NOT a girl. I am a woman.

He is nice. He just looked surprised. But to me being referred to as 'girl' infantises me, makes me less of an adult, puts me at a lower status ... Yukkity yuk yuk. Have we not achieved anything?!

Sorry. Rant over.

Ana Sun 30-Apr-17 17:41:09

It doesn't bother me. Same with expressions like 'hun', 'chick' and 'sweetie' from my local checkout operators.

I don't feel less of an adult, nor do I feel patronised. But we aren't all the same!

kittylester Sun 30-Apr-17 17:41:31

It doesn't bother me at all. I don't feel infanticised and I would feel that was the aim of anyone who said it.

Poor chaps can't win - it's unacceptable to call us ladies confused and women is plain horrid.

mumofmadboys Sun 30-Apr-17 17:52:52

When I walk with my girlfriends we call it our girls walking group. Long may we be girls I say! We are all about 60.

Deedaa Sun 30-Apr-17 18:01:38

I'm quite happy to be a 70 year old girl smile A friend of mine once had a customer complain because she called him "Young man" we just thought he was a miserable old bugger.

Cherrytree59 Sun 30-Apr-17 18:04:58

When my DH and BIL have been out together, my sister or myself will often say 'that sounds like the boys are back'
However they will say 'hello dears' to both of us.

MawBroon Sun 30-Apr-17 18:10:14

I like it better than the (to my mind) patronising "ladies" or (worse still) "guys".
But hey, "who cares what they call me, as long as they call me"
(Mae West?)

KatyK Sun 30-Apr-17 18:12:03

I don't mind it. When I say to my DH 'I'm going out with the girls' he always says 'it's a long time since any of you lot have been girls' cheek.

NanaandGrampy Sun 30-Apr-17 18:18:16

I'm sorry but I laughed Carol , I can honestly say I have never felt infantised by being called 'a girl' , in fact I positively welcome it ! I call my daughters the girls , and their husbands the boys - not only do they not mind but I'm 100% positive they don't feel less of an adult or of a lower status.

In my opinion , it's not what you're called but how you act that defines you.

I feel for your 'very nice chap' ... was he supposed to say ,'Hello Women'?

Christinefrance Sun 30-Apr-17 18:25:47

Yes I agree with N&G. I am quite happy to be called a girl, in fact it makes me feel cheerful. smile

tanith Sun 30-Apr-17 18:38:43

I've no problem with being called a girl, I guess we all have different expectations. Maybe the gentleman in question will keep himself to himself after being rebuked he probably was just feeling friendly.

ginny Sun 30-Apr-17 18:40:00

Doesn't bother me at all.

Reminds me of when people used to say " I' m doing such and such, or going somewhere or other, I need to find myself".

No problem, I know where I am. Here!

Marmark1 Sun 30-Apr-17 18:40:25

I was pulled up on here once for saying girls so your not alone,
It certainly wouldn't bother me,why should it,we say it all the time,i.e.,come on girls,let's get going,,that sort of thing.Like I'll say to my GC,come on kids,best foot forward,it's just words,nothing awful meant,get a grip,

thatbags Sun 30-Apr-17 18:44:04

It doesn't bother me. I think 'girls' is used as a generic term for females. Hi, girls sounds friendlier to me than Hi, females, Hi, women. I suppose Hi, you two! would have worked.

It's just social awkwardness. Let it go smile

thatbags Sun 30-Apr-17 18:45:33

That said, my DD1 would probably object to Hello, ladies unless he was also greeting men with Hello, gentlemen.

downsized Sun 30-Apr-17 18:52:32

I'm guessing you would not like living in Malta where older ladies are referred to as 'Mrs'! I was a bit shocked the first time I realised a 'Hey, Mrs' was aimed at me, but it is just the direct translation from the Maltese 'sinjura' which refers to a married or older woman.

Being referred to as a girl or a lady would not bother me one iota. I'm not easily offended and try not to 'sweat the small stuff' as my daughter would say. Life is far too short.grin

merlotgran Sun 30-Apr-17 18:57:41

I pointed out that at almost 65 I am NOT a girl. I am a woman.

How churlish of you.

Don't be surprised if he gives you a wide berth in future. hmm

petra Sun 30-Apr-17 19:00:50

Well you won't have a nice young man coming to talk to you again, will you.
Get over yourself and lighten up a bit.

petra Sun 30-Apr-17 19:02:48

Does this poster remind anyone of the ' Young at heart' thread?
Probably started life at 50 this one.

rosesarered Sun 30-Apr-17 19:08:51

Would not bother me in the slightest.

trisher Sun 30-Apr-17 19:11:28

I'm sorry but any man who chooses to refer to a group of women as "girls" is patronising them. If you don't recognise this that's fine, but don't castigate someone who has more social awareness than you have and who recognises that language and the way words are used is important. Call yourself and your friends 'girls' if you choose, you are only fooling yourselves, but try to see the wider picture and have a little more respect for the OP who not only recognised what was happening but was brave enough to speak up about it.
Well done Carolghill You have a long history of outspoken women behind you applauding and congratulating you. Pity there aren't more such women on this thread.

Ana Sun 30-Apr-17 19:13:07


rosesarered Sun 30-Apr-17 19:14:42

Haha! What a silly rant trisher the OP asked what we all thought after all.

Ana Sun 30-Apr-17 19:19:52

'You are only fooling yourselves' - really? Do you imagine we all think of ourselves as youngsters and not actually 60 and 70 odd years of age? How sad for you...

nanaK54 Sun 30-Apr-17 19:21:50

Oh dear - well I still have 'girls nights out' with ladies of an average age of 60+ and my sons, both in their 40s will always be referred to as 'the boys' grin.