I still get irritated by this - AIBU to hate being referred to as a 'girl'...

I say poor man as a figure of speech really.Seeing as the OPer has said he's a nice man with no malice intended, he's totally innocent in the matter.
Or is that wrong too.

I'm in a quiz team of men (at 72, they are 7 years older than me) and I always refer to them as, 'I'm seeing 'the boys' tonight'. Mind you, I am the team captain!

Some men can use the words 'girls' in a demeaning manner, I agree, others as a compliment. Either I ignore it or react accordingly as to how the comment was intended depending on the situation. I could say,' That's flattering, I wish I was still a girl' or something like 'What do the other boys think?' The man/bloke/guy/fella/boy should get the appropriate message. In the situation mentioned here, probably better to be spoken to than ignored.

I don't mind being a 67 year old "girl". We're "boys" and "girls " forever! Oh trisher ?

I'm staggered that so many women of my generation don't get it. Whether or not we decide to call ourselves 'girls' I really did think that as contemporaries we understood where the objection to this came from. Perhaps we haven't come so very far after all

I wonder if the mumsnetters would get it? I bloody well hope so.

Wow! This has hit a nerve, hasn't it?
I have the opposite problem - DH insists on calling any bloke, especially if they are over 70, "lads" and "boys"! How old does one have to be to qualify as wo/man?

By the way i also divorced in 80's and no trouble at all with mortgage etc.we went about it in a civilised way. I do feel sorry for men these days, if you felt patronised you could have said jokingly 'Hello young man' or ' Hi laddie' or something like that I also feel that a lot of women are so blooming quick to take offence.

Oh for goodness sake get over yourself! Should he say 'Hello Women"?

I fume every time the waitress at my favourite restraunt calls me "dear",makes me feel ancient.

I refer to my pals as girls and we re mostly o. A. P. I don't take as derogitary, just a friendly thing, I call my pals guys too! I don't like being called doll, tho.

Marmark why is he 'a poor man'?

I was divorced in the 80's Conni7 and I can tell you it was bloody difficult to get your ex husband's name taken off the mortgage even when he had signed over the property, wasn't living there and you were making the payments. Building societies just didn't like it.
If men can't be bothered to learn from their mistakes and not address women as they prefer perhaps they are best to avoid them. Why should that bother the OP?

Marmark lol

The poor man probably calls you all sorts under his breath.

"Hinny" is used for both sexes POGS as is "man" in Geordie, so no objections to either, it is of course dialect and nothing to do with donkeys. If one doesn't understand that one would be quite entitled to ask what was meant I suppose.
I actually know very few Lancastrians who now use the term "Lassie" as it is generally associated with the dog of film fame.
Is that an acceptable feminist answer to your question?

Then there's 'wor lass' which husband calls me sometimes.

Pogs I like 'hinny', I always thought it meant 'honey'?

You say he was a nice man, so he was only being friendly. You embarrassed him, so he'll avoid you in future. I think political correctness has gone mad. Also, someone said they had to get their husband's signature in the past. I was widowed at a young age in the sixties and never had any trouble with hire-purchase agreements etc., so when was this?

I am not a 'duck' but have been called one on many occasions.
As DM used to call me 'chick' at least 'duck' sounds more grown-up

Can I respectfully ask of the feminist posters who object to the use of the word girl a question.

How do you feel if you were in say Lancashire and you were called a 'lassie' or Somerset and called 'little un' etc. Would you feel you were being infantalised by somebody using local colloquialisms?

I am reminded of the word 'hinny' . I'm sure somebody somewhere would find a friendly Geordie who called them 'hinny' would say don't call me that I'm not a donkey.

I'm not religious,but aren't you supposed to turn the other cheek or something,at the very least show a bit of charity,you admit he spoke in innocence.
So much for church goers.

And thanks Suedoko - this is where I am coming from...

I don't mind 'hun, love, ducks, hen' or other affectionate terms. I just hate 'girl' though - for reasons already given.

And yes Trisha, language is fascinating ...

Well I am glad something has come out of this discussion if only an awareness of how language has evolved down the centuries.
But how those who take umbrage at an inoffensive term would have coped 50, 100 years ago or more with more aggressive sexual or racial discrimination I cannot imagine, and as for racial or religious persecution....?
They must have been made of tougher stuff in those days
#notsayingflakeybut

jacqknife - I so agree!!!!

That is the basic definition NanaandGrampy but I think the origins of the word are more interesting given its wider use now. I don't suppose "immature. worthless or past their prime" are roots anyone using the word would know about or aspire to. Isn't language fascinating?