Nippy mother

I suggest you be pleasant and polite to her and all the others at the school gate. Keep her at arms length and don't explain your actions, you don't owe her that. Don't text and block her on FB. If you get asked why? say you are too busy with DGD and don't have time. She needs to respect your decision. She can move on and so can you.

If she has an illness/disorder she needs to be encouraged to operate within the social boundaries the rest of us do.

Find another friend or better, friends. xx

Meandashy, just ask yourself this question, Is she important in my life, if the answer is No, then don't worry or bother with her.
Find another friend this friendship seems doomed for the scrap heap sooner or later anyway.

So not really a friend. Just forget her, block her on fb and keep yourself to yourself at the school, it's a minefield. Life is to short.

Great way to change the subject, though!

Oops, sorry, quite the wrong place for this. Not sure how that happened, apologies to all...!

Very interested to read the piece about gardeners, in particular the prices. My DH is a gardener & charges between £15 & £20 per hour, depending on the job. It's very much the going rate here in Shropshire & I'm amazed that people can afford do it for less, unless they don't have a vehicle & always use clients' own tools. The price certainly doesn't put people off & he has more clients than he knows what to do with.

Quite agree with ajanela and vampirequeen, sounds like she may have a bit of post natal depression or mood disorder or something, in which case doctor's advice would be to "check out" any distressing/intrusive thoughts with people, just like she has done.
Seems like there are 2 camps on this thread, some people understand and are sympathetic while others find it peculiar or "attention seeking".
For what it's worth I would think a bit of gentle tolerance would be kind, even if you don't want to be involved any more. People don't choose to be ill and after all it is 1 in 4 of us at any time struggling with mental illnesses, could happen to any of us.
Hope you get your own problems sorted soon, must be very hard.

I would guess that this acquaintance lacks self confidence. She appears quick to jump to the conclusion that things are to do with her. Maybe she has a hard time as an older mum (is this her first child?) and she does not fit in with the other younger mothers. Perhaps she is desperate to kedp your friendship because she is lonely.

However such friends can be very draining, and if you need all your energy for gc, perhaps you can somehow let her know that, without giving her any ammunition for gossip, and if possible without hurting her feelings. The most important thing now is getting to the bottom of your gc behaviour and helping her through it.

MEANDASHY. ....maybe ignore FB and don't go looking on there at all.
I think people write things on FB that they wouldn't say to to ones face so best ignore.
Just my opinion.

Here, here Tanith. Facebook has a lot to answer for..... people venting their spleens etc...!

Possibly everyone should learn to distinguish the difference between a friend and a good acquaintance as, with the words love and hero, I feel that the term friend is often misappropriated.

I agree with Tanith
A polite hello nice day to other mums, and, unless your own kith and kin is a bosom friend with one specific other then keep it that way.Least said soonest mended.

Have you thought that maybe there is something bad going on in her life, that has nothing to do with you? I say this because I used to walk to school with another mother (many moons ago!) whose kids were the same age as mine, and for about 3 or 4 days she seemed to be trying to avoid me, then I discovered that her husband had left her! All mended in a few weeeks with her DH and with her and I - we are still friends 20 years on!

Meandashy.... seems to much like hard work to me, friendships are supposed to add something to your life.Ive had friends like that, I've just withdrew and gone my own way.Shes to needy.Just don't waste your time and energy on her.

This sounds to me that the mum you walk to school with has become a bit jealous over the friendship you have made with someone else. Also she sounds like an attention seeker. Think you may have to cool this friendship with her a little . Although as you walk to school together this is probably easier said than done. If she makes you feel like you are walking on eggshells and explain yourself (even via texts) all the time is this really a friendship? A friend should make you feel better than this. Hope you find a way of resolving all this without any further problems from her.

Thank you Vampirequeen for your post.

With all the hype in the media and the support of the Royals I hope we are all becoming aware of the thousands of people coping with mental health problems and trying to live a normal life. One figure that surprised me is that 1.1% world wide have schizophrenia, with 220,000 in England and Wales most living and working in the community. People being diagnosed on the autistic spectrum is increasing and I was listening to a radio 4 programme saying ADHD could develop in adulthood.

So when we come across difficult communication problems let's stop and think is this person coping with a mental health problem. Broken legs get sympathy and we don't expect people to walk on them so let's be understanding about broken brains which also need support healing.

Look I just think you need a ?
It's a long time ago since i experienced the politics of the school gates but remember how punishing they were and what power games were played. It's hard. You want to be friendly and open and sociable and garnish support when needed but can suddenly find yourself in unknown dark waters. I fully sympathise and if you hold your cool it will get better

Hi, you do sound stressed in your blogs, I really hope things will settle down for you. Unless you feel you have lost a really good friend, it sounds as though it might be better for you to smile when you see her, have a polite hello but really keep your distance. If she is a friend worth staying in there for it might be different but even then we have to take decisions about whether someone Zapps us with energy that is positive or Sapps us and drains it away. Good luck in solving your own problems give yourself some me time to do that . Best

At least she asked you if there was a problem rather than worrying herself sick about it and getting it out of proportion. If she lacks a bit of confidence, for whatever reason, quite frankly she doesn't need a 'friend' like you who snaps at her when she dares to ask as she sounds like she does suffer from low self-esteem. It sounds from your posts (which doesn't mean it is how it is) like you think it is ok for you to be stressed and tackle issues but she isn't given the same courtesy. I hope you sort your problems out with your DGD though.

I had a similar experience with a colleague at work who out of the blue started to ignore me whereas previously we had been very friendly. I felt really uncomfortable and had no idea what, if anything I had done to offend her. I eventually found out form her that I had not behaved as a friend should as I had spoken to someone, who had returned to the workplace after an absence of a couple of years, who she hated , unfortunately I do not have telepathic powers so was completely flummoxed by her attitude

Save your energy for positive things and just let this go. You can't change people so in her case, why bother trying to fathom out the deep recesses of her mind every time something is misunderstood?

Due to experiences in my past I have developed a personality disorder. Part of this means I find it very easy to take the blame for anything and everything. DH says that 'Sorry' seems to be my favourite word.

Perhaps the lady is similar to me and that's why she worries that she's offended you in some way.

If you snap at her then that will reinforce her belief that she's upset you and will start a vicious circle.

I,too, think Facebook has a lot to answer for, or rather the way in which it often seems to be used. Things seem to be posted in the heat of the moment and can then result in bad feeling. It probably has its positive uses but I personally wouldn't touch it with a barge pole. I've managed this long without it, I don't see me being a convert.

For what it's worth, I feel that FB is the work of the devil.
Many an argument has been fuelled by a badly thought out post.

Do not share your problems with others at the school gate, recipe for trouble. This woman may then post about you on fb.
If you are old enough to be a GP then you should be mature enough to walk away from this woman.