Kids having kids & unproteced sex

Agreed as usual women get singled out for comment on sexual issues no one comments on the males!

Thanks, trisher, for bringing up the dads in these scenarios. I get the ops' concerns, but the boys/men are responsible, too, not just the girls/women.

Oh, gillybob, your posts are breaking my heart! Except for the part about ds growing up to be a good father, etc. Bravo to him - and you!

gillybob, the bit you are missing is you are and were the perfect mum, for him.

Not particularly proud trisher just relieved that my son has grown up to be nothing like his waste of space "father" he loves his children, they are his life, In fact he couldn't be any less like his "father" other than how he looks.

That's so awful gillybob but you must be so proud to think that you have brought your son up so differently and that he knows what a real man's responsibilities are.

I have mentioned my sons "father" (it even sticks in my throat to refer to him as such) on threads in the past trisher. He and I were pushed into marriage (to save face) and the marriage lasted a matter of weeks/months before he got a much better offer and left me holding the baby. We were very young and should have never got married. Over the years I tried to maintain a kind of relationship with him for the sake of my son but he wasn't interested (too busy playing jack the lad to be bothered with a baby) he never paid a single penny towards my sons upkeep and didn't so much buy him a tee shirt or a pair of shoes his entire life. My son went through a bad time in his teenage years and definitely suffered because of the continued rejection. At 17 he had a breakdown after his "father" agreed to meet him on numerous occasions and then failed to show. My sons "father" went on to inpregnate a few other women after me and then later became a pillar of society with a very prestigious job. He died of a heart attack (probably brought in from taking steroids but that's another story) and my son, my grandma and I went to his funeral together and listened to the eulogies for this "wonderful man" my son didn't get a mention as though he didn't exist.

I've noticed in this thread there are very few mentions of the fathers of the children born to these girls. One of the things I told my own DSs was that no matter how difficult it might be if they made a baby with someone it was their responsibility to ensure they kept contact and behaved as a dad should. Perhaps we should have more education along that line for boys. Don't take the risk of being a father if you aren't willing to see it through.
Germaine Greer (ever one for extremes) once said that the whole problem could be solved if men had vasectomies before they became sexually active, before the operation they would be entitled to deposit sperm with a sperm bank so that they could have children when the situation was right.
Not something I think would work and anyway unplanned children sometimes turn out to be exceptional people.

Lovely memories gillybob.

A funny memory just popped into my head that I would like to share. I asked my son a few weeks ago what were his memories of being little.

He said he remembered some horrible blue shoes (they cost a fortune and I was so proud of them grrrrrr) and he said his best times were when it was raining we used to go out holding hands and find the biggest puddles to splash in and get chips in paper walking home.

Fate is a funny thing isn't it Norah it was a horrible time back then but here I am now with my "baby boy" 37 years old and a father to my three gorgeously wonderful grandchildren.

I am finally married to the love of my life who is a loving grandad to the little ones. With all the horrible things going on in the world around us, I know I am very very lucky.

Oh, * gillybob,* My poor baby boy was in nursery from just after 7am Monday to Friday (which I will regret for the rest of my life).

No regrets, look how well he turned out and look to your precious GC his children, good mum you.

gilly i dont tar all single Mums with the same brush so to speak. Some Mothers like yourself work bloody hard and want the world for their child but there are also some who want a bay for the flat and money that comes with them. I know many will say that is never the case but it is true, the mother of my step children will happily tell you that she only had her first child ( before she met my husband) to get a flat, have money and not have to go to work. She is so proud of the fact.
Gilly i wish every mother was like you.

OP when a post has in its first sentence a factual and statistical inaccuracy I can see little point in joining in the discussion. Several posters have pointed out that teen pregnancy numbers are falling, not increasing. When posting it is a good idea to check facts before thinking of starting a debate.

My own children are the only legitimate ones in the family for some time. Both I and my sister were adopted having been born 'on the wrong side of the blanket', as was my adoptive mother. My sister finds it highly amusing that her birth mother traded her in for a horse, at the suggestion of her shocked father. My mother was apparently in servvice and taken advantage of by her employer.

Your post makes me feel really sad * grannypiper* I was one of those women who got herself pregnant. I worked full time to feed and clothe my son with no help from anyone at all (certainly not the father) . Yes I did get an upstairs flat in a grotty area but God did I work hard to pay the rent. My poor baby boy was in nursery from just after 7am Monday to Friday (which I will regret for the rest of my life) . I don't begrudge today's young single mothers a penny. It's not easy you know. It's lonely, it's sad and it's very frightening. I had no friends.

The Jeremy Kyle show is not hard provable evidence norose4 and I don't think we can blame feminism for the over sexualised demands on today's young men and women.

Teenage pregnancies are at an all time low in the UK. Dont believe all you read or see on programmes like Jeremy Kyle.

Oh dear norose4. You obviously took the claim that this forum is non-judgemental and any subject could be raised at its face value. Whilst this is indeed true in the main, you will discover soon enough that there are exceptions and you will find some people are more than ready to find any excuse to pick others to pieces.

I was quite young gillybob but not that young!!

So we should just accept a large number of women producing children they cant feed, clothe or shelter ? By just accepting they are pregnant and moving on from that is shutting the stable door way too late. There is more than enough education available these days and after all the girls know exactly how to get pregnant so the must have some knowledge. A fair few of them also know the benefit system inside out.
I have worked with the surestart programme enough to understand these women (having heard the very words come out of their mouths) use it as somewhere to "dump the kids". Any type of intervention will only change the childs life IF you manage to change the parent.

gilly

I had sex ed at boarding school aged 11/12

The first time I read this I didn't catch the "ed" and was thinking blimey.... that's VERY young.

trisher, Shops must have had a lot of orders for "Married Love". Mum gave us each a copy.

My father (a GP) said 'do I need to tell you about the facts of life?'
I replied ' no I've read the obs and gynae textbooks you left in the toilet library!'
No more was said!

I had sex ed at boarding school aged 11/12. We were handed out packs of Dr Whites and a sanitary belt. Matron explained about menstruation and about the male member entering the female to plant the seed! It was all horribly cold and factual. But at least I knew mechanics and about periods! This was 1962/3. my friend Caroline burst into tears and declared that her parents would not do that!