Spreading coughs and colds

I agree with you. Most of the blasted coughs and colds that I get can be traced back to family members who insist on passing their damned germs around. I don't love them any less, I just wish that they'd keep their germs to themselves.

Is it just the fact you won't hug or kiss them when they have colds or is this a smokescreen for other things your DD has noticed that makes you feel you don't love her children? Things are rarely as simple as they seem! Perhaps a heart to heart conversation with your DD would help your DD to understand why as you get older you are more wary of illness and she could tell you if there is anything else that makes her feel you don't love them.

My son's Doctor told him that having toddlers and young children was like having an open sewer in the house!
I like to think that anything they catch, I have probably seen before in my 80 years. However I am very careful around them when I have a cold sore, (happily infrequently these days) My daughter was very distressed when a relative, with a cold sore, kissed her child on the lips.
The child picked up the virus, ran a temperature, had a multitude of sores on her mouth and has been prone to cold sores ever since.

harrigran is quite right - all children need to understand about the risks they may present to some older people/others of any age with compromised immune systems, while they have colds or other minor infections. It is called consideration for others!

Trying to maintain my own health exercising at the local leisure centre in the company of a friend recovering from recent cancer treatment, we were both upset and horrified when a group of sneezing teenagers close to us made no attempt to use tissues, clothing or even their hands to cover their faces. We both felt the spray - with the result that my friend felt more stressed after the visit to the centre than she had felt before going...

Sparkle199 I am so sorry.

Should have read neither a kiss nor a hug! Predictive text!!

Never mind hugs and kisses from Grandchildren, I haven't had either a kids as nor a hug from husband for at least 12 years!?

I agree with you Pixie, I assume you don't make a big thing of it with the grand children, if so, maybe be a little more subtle. The worst place I cannot stand to be when someone is coughing and sneezing is on an aeroplane!! I literally cover my face with my jacket or other item to hand. My husband thinks I'm crazy...but I can't bear it..especially when the offender doesn't use a hanky!! SNEEZES SPREAD DISEASES...and it hurts more when you are older!!

Love hugs from family doesn't matter how big or small . Like you harrigran they understood about keeping their distance when I was on chemo they say hugs are good for you ?‍❤️‍?

I can understand how you feel ( dgc just sneezed 3 times as I'm writing this spraying it everywhere lol) but I'm on drugs to lower my immune system so when I catch something it's not good. When I go over to see my dgc I phone first and if something is going about my DIL tells me and let's me decide if I still want to go round and if I do I still give them a hug but put the kiss on hold till their better.

Always a big hug and usually a kiss on the top of the head up to now, however, some of them are growing taller than me so 'air' kissing for the bigger ones seems to be the thing, picked up from continental cousins, the girls seem to think it is sophisticated!

I do agree about colds after middle age they do seem to be much more difficult to throw off.

Of course you love your grandchildren and it is just irrational to say that wanting to avoid a week or two being ill is a sign of lack of affection. Your daughter is having a hissy fit.

However, this is very commnon and I find a tactful way of avoiding germs is to say, 'I'm not going to hug in case I give you this horrible sore throat that seems to be developing.'

A few people on this thread seem to be saying that a cold doesn't matter. Well, for some, they are able to shrug coughs and colds off but others suffer badly from them. If I get a cold now it always develops into asthma for which I have to have steroid treatment and I know that I will have days on end of having to sleep upright to avoid continuous coughing. I would do anything to avoid this.

It seems a bit rough to be accused of not loving your grandchildren because of a fear of catching their bugs when they are ill, unless perhaps you always avoid contact 'just in case' in which case I can see where she is at.

I catch just about everything my littlest grandson brings home from the childminder. He needs more hugs not fewer when he is ill and I have had snotty fingers shoved in my mouth when he was littler. I always think if a bug is going the rounds I am going to get it from public transport or the supermarket anyway. Better get it from a beloved grandchild.

I did try to keep my kids with colds away from Grandma once she hit her 80s though. It really wasn't in my interests for her to catch a chest infection as I would be the one having to drive 70 miles twice a day to look after her?

Clearly exceptions have to be made around people whose immune systems are compromised. I would never refuse affection from kids. As adults we know how it feels to be snubbed and can understand but small kids ........... If there were more hugs and loving in the world it might be a better place.

I love hugs and cuddles with my g/ch and with all my family. I do confess to being a tad anxious though if the little ones have a stomach bug - we postpone visits in that event but I do feel very guilty. Coughs, colds etc don't faze me but some people get them very badly and take ages to shake them off. My MIL is a case in point but she has always gone OTT and cancelled meeting her children if anyone has as much as a slight sniffle.This led to her spending Christmas alone last year which was sad.
It's impossible to avoid contact with viruses and harmful bacteria. We can only try to lessen the risk by practising good hygiene ourselves and encouraging our families to do so. Other than that, short of living in a bubble, there's nowt to be done.

I could never turn down a cuddle from any of my 7 grandchildren. They range from age 24 to 2. I've never kissed on the lips that's kept for him indoors! I look after the kids when they're not well & off school etc. They grow up so quickly.

Big no to kissing when it comes to colds and flu. Common sense!

I don't kiss my grandchildren on the lips. Old people like me carry all manner of germs in their mouths, and I do have gum disease. Why would I want to share it?

There will come a time, teenager time, when kissing Granny might be a chore . So get your hugs and kisses while you can.

Phoenix says " get over it " but for those with a weak immune system it is not that easy.
I hug GC and have always kissed the top of their heads but when I was on chemo they would keep their distance if they had the smallest sniffle, they knew not to spread their germs.

Under 5s are called super spreaders for a reason! My children know I have to be careful not to pass infections on to DH and they know it's nothing to do with not loving the GSs

Never turn down a show of affection from any of my grandchildren, but if I am not feeling too well, I try to keep contact to a minimum so as not to spread infection to them. I agree that when little ones are ill, they need more kisses and cuddles, not less. Kisses are always on the cheek or forehead anyway.

It is practically impossible to avoid "germs", supermarket trolley handles, banisters on public stairways, door handles, toilet flushes, money............

Get over it/get real/get permanently attached to a bottle of hand sanitizing gel and a face mask or just get on with enjoying life without being OTT about it.

i have no problem with hugging or kissing children with a cold. if i catch a cold then i catch a cold.
and i don't worry about people sneezing or coughing anywhere either.

We both look at each other in the supermarket if someone is hacking or sneezing in front of us - and hold our breath till we're past Totally pointless of course as there's so many germs on the trolley handles! Not kissing and hugging people with no small children around us but sure that will change when our little grandsons arrive at Christmas for 6 weeks.