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AIBU

Spreading coughs and colds

(58 Posts)
pixie1 Tue 30-May-17 15:27:53

I don't like people or grandkids to greet me with a kiss when they have a cold/flu/cough. I don't make a big issue of it - I just avoid contact.

I have been known to turn around if someone sneezes ahead of me in the supermarket aisle.

Now my daughter has accused me of not loving my grandchildren.

Opinions please.

aggie Tue 30-May-17 15:34:08

we do hugs and never lip kisses

Elrel Tue 30-May-17 15:53:46

Hugs and fist bumps (safer than handshakes re bacteria and way cooler for teens!).

I worry lest I give anything to DGCs! Under 5s do tend to come for kisses and get pecks on foreheads or cheeks. The baby gets a kiss on her head.

MawBroon Tue 30-May-17 16:11:58

It doesn't do to get too precious about catching the inevitable bugs the DGCs bring. Hugs needn't spread germs anyway and I would put up with any coughs and sneezes as the price for little arms flung round my neck! Never ever turn away from a tiny-how do you think they must feel? Hugs can be perfectly safe.
As for sneezes in the supermarket, I agree people can be very inconsiderate but all I can say is your reactions must be quicker than mine.
I wonder if our diminishing immune system might not merely be connected with ageing but because we may be mixing with fewer people. As a Secondary teacher I stayed immune to many assorted bugs from less than scrupulous teenagers but since retiring I seem to catch things more easily.
😷😷😷😷😷

nanaK54 Tue 30-May-17 17:12:53

Oh I would always hug my grandchildren and we do cheek kisses, not lips....

My DH has to be very careful as he has a serious illness but he always has a hug

petra Tue 30-May-17 17:17:08

If my grandchildren aren't well they get more kisses and cuddles. How mean to avoid contact with them when they aren't well.

Norah Tue 30-May-17 17:19:53

pixie1, I avoid hugging by never letting it begin (avoiding). I'm not much to hug and kiss except DH.

NanaandGrampy Tue 30-May-17 17:57:39

That's us too Maw .

I'd sell my soul for a super cuddle ( extra squidgy) and a kiss. Germs , coughs and colds are just life. We even kiss the dog lol on his head obviously !

Willow500 Tue 30-May-17 19:02:38

We both look at each other in the supermarket if someone is hacking or sneezing in front of us - and hold our breath till we're past grin Totally pointless of course as there's so many germs on the trolley handles! Not kissing and hugging people with no small children around us but sure that will change when our little grandsons arrive at Christmas for 6 weeks.

Lupatria Tue 30-May-17 20:04:59

i have no problem with hugging or kissing children with a cold. if i catch a cold then i catch a cold.
and i don't worry about people sneezing or coughing anywhere either.

phoenix Tue 30-May-17 21:02:31

It is practically impossible to avoid "germs", supermarket trolley handles, banisters on public stairways, door handles, toilet flushes, money............

Get over it/get real/get permanently attached to a bottle of hand sanitizing gel and a face mask or just get on with enjoying life without being OTT about it.

Everthankful Tue 30-May-17 21:52:24

Never turn down a show of affection from any of my grandchildren, but if I am not feeling too well, I try to keep contact to a minimum so as not to spread infection to them. I agree that when little ones are ill, they need more kisses and cuddles, not less. Kisses are always on the cheek or forehead anyway.

Deedaa Wed 31-May-17 08:43:17

Under 5s are called super spreaders for a reason! My children know I have to be careful not to pass infections on to DH and they know it's nothing to do with not loving the GSs

harrigran Wed 31-May-17 09:22:54

Phoenix says " get over it " but for those with a weak immune system it is not that easy.
I hug GC and have always kissed the top of their heads but when I was on chemo they would keep their distance if they had the smallest sniffle, they knew not to spread their germs.

dorsetpennt Wed 31-May-17 10:17:46

There will come a time, teenager time, when kissing Granny might be a chore . So get your hugs and kisses while you can.

IngeJones Wed 31-May-17 10:53:08

I don't kiss my grandchildren on the lips. Old people like me carry all manner of germs in their mouths, and I do have gum disease. Why would I want to share it?

damewithaname Wed 31-May-17 10:55:23

Big no to kissing when it comes to colds and flu. Common sense!

catwoman Wed 31-May-17 10:56:14

I could never turn down a cuddle from any of my 7 grandchildren. They range from age 24 to 2. I've never kissed on the lips that's kept for him indoors! I look after the kids when they're not well & off school etc. They grow up so quickly.

Rowantree Wed 31-May-17 10:59:57

I love hugs and cuddles with my g/ch and with all my family. I do confess to being a tad anxious though if the little ones have a stomach bug - we postpone visits in that event but I do feel very guilty. Coughs, colds etc don't faze me but some people get them very badly and take ages to shake them off. My MIL is a case in point but she has always gone OTT and cancelled meeting her children if anyone has as much as a slight sniffle.This led to her spending Christmas alone last year which was sad.
It's impossible to avoid contact with viruses and harmful bacteria. We can only try to lessen the risk by practising good hygiene ourselves and encouraging our families to do so. Other than that, short of living in a bubble, there's nowt to be done.

Crazygrandma2 Wed 31-May-17 11:01:30

Clearly exceptions have to be made around people whose immune systems are compromised. I would never refuse affection from kids. As adults we know how it feels to be snubbed and can understand but small kids ........... If there were more hugs and loving in the world it might be a better place.

Nelliemaggs Wed 31-May-17 11:01:49

It seems a bit rough to be accused of not loving your grandchildren because of a fear of catching their bugs when they are ill, unless perhaps you always avoid contact 'just in case' in which case I can see where she is at.

I catch just about everything my littlest grandson brings home from the childminder. He needs more hugs not fewer when he is ill and I have had snotty fingers shoved in my mouth when he was littler. I always think if a bug is going the rounds I am going to get it from public transport or the supermarket anyway. Better get it from a beloved grandchild.

I did try to keep my kids with colds away from Grandma once she hit her 80s though. It really wasn't in my interests for her to catch a chest infection as I would be the one having to drive 70 miles twice a day to look after herπŸ™„

Lilyflower Wed 31-May-17 11:02:25

Of course you love your grandchildren and it is just irrational to say that wanting to avoid a week or two being ill is a sign of lack of affection. Your daughter is having a hissy fit.

However, this is very commnon and I find a tactful way of avoiding germs is to say, 'I'm not going to hug in case I give you this horrible sore throat that seems to be developing.'

A few people on this thread seem to be saying that a cold doesn't matter. Well, for some, they are able to shrug coughs and colds off but others suffer badly from them. If I get a cold now it always develops into asthma for which I have to have steroid treatment and I know that I will have days on end of having to sleep upright to avoid continuous coughing. I would do anything to avoid this.

luluaugust Wed 31-May-17 11:12:40

Always a big hug and usually a kiss on the top of the head up to now, however, some of them are growing taller than me so 'air' kissing for the bigger ones seems to be the thing, picked up from continental cousins, the girls seem to think it is sophisticated!

I do agree about colds after middle age they do seem to be much more difficult to throw off.

sweetcakes Wed 31-May-17 11:13:07

I can understand how you feel ( dgc just sneezed 3 times as I'm writing this spraying it everywhere lol) but I'm on drugs to lower my immune system so when I catch something it's not good. When I go over to see my dgc I phone first and if something is going about my DIL tells me and let's me decide if I still want to go round and if I do I still give them a hug but put the kiss on hold till their better.

hulahoop Wed 31-May-17 11:15:55

Love hugs from family doesn't matter how big or small . Like you harrigran they understood about keeping their distance when I was on chemo they say hugs are good for you πŸ‘©β€β€οΈβ€πŸ‘©