It doesn't do to get too precious about catching the inevitable bugs the DGCs bring. Hugs needn't spread germs anyway and I would put up with any coughs and sneezes as the price for little arms flung round my neck! Never ever turn away from a tiny-how do you think they must feel? Hugs can be perfectly safe. As for sneezes in the supermarket, I agree people can be very inconsiderate but all I can say is your reactions must be quicker than mine. I wonder if our diminishing immune system might not merely be connected with ageing but because we may be mixing with fewer people. As a Secondary teacher I stayed immune to many assorted bugs from less than scrupulous teenagers but since retiring I seem to catch things more easily. ?????
We both look at each other in the supermarket if someone is hacking or sneezing in front of us - and hold our breath till we're past Totally pointless of course as there's so many germs on the trolley handles! Not kissing and hugging people with no small children around us but sure that will change when our little grandsons arrive at Christmas for 6 weeks.
Never turn down a show of affection from any of my grandchildren, but if I am not feeling too well, I try to keep contact to a minimum so as not to spread infection to them. I agree that when little ones are ill, they need more kisses and cuddles, not less. Kisses are always on the cheek or forehead anyway.
Phoenix says " get over it " but for those with a weak immune system it is not that easy. I hug GC and have always kissed the top of their heads but when I was on chemo they would keep their distance if they had the smallest sniffle, they knew not to spread their germs.
I could never turn down a cuddle from any of my 7 grandchildren. They range from age 24 to 2. I've never kissed on the lips that's kept for him indoors! I look after the kids when they're not well & off school etc. They grow up so quickly.
I love hugs and cuddles with my g/ch and with all my family. I do confess to being a tad anxious though if the little ones have a stomach bug - we postpone visits in that event but I do feel very guilty. Coughs, colds etc don't faze me but some people get them very badly and take ages to shake them off. My MIL is a case in point but she has always gone OTT and cancelled meeting her children if anyone has as much as a slight sniffle.This led to her spending Christmas alone last year which was sad. It's impossible to avoid contact with viruses and harmful bacteria. We can only try to lessen the risk by practising good hygiene ourselves and encouraging our families to do so. Other than that, short of living in a bubble, there's nowt to be done.
Clearly exceptions have to be made around people whose immune systems are compromised. I would never refuse affection from kids. As adults we know how it feels to be snubbed and can understand but small kids ........... If there were more hugs and loving in the world it might be a better place.
It seems a bit rough to be accused of not loving your grandchildren because of a fear of catching their bugs when they are ill, unless perhaps you always avoid contact 'just in case' in which case I can see where she is at.
I catch just about everything my littlest grandson brings home from the childminder. He needs more hugs not fewer when he is ill and I have had snotty fingers shoved in my mouth when he was littler. I always think if a bug is going the rounds I am going to get it from public transport or the supermarket anyway. Better get it from a beloved grandchild.
I did try to keep my kids with colds away from Grandma once she hit her 80s though. It really wasn't in my interests for her to catch a chest infection as I would be the one having to drive 70 miles twice a day to look after her?
Of course you love your grandchildren and it is just irrational to say that wanting to avoid a week or two being ill is a sign of lack of affection. Your daughter is having a hissy fit.
However, this is very commnon and I find a tactful way of avoiding germs is to say, 'I'm not going to hug in case I give you this horrible sore throat that seems to be developing.'
A few people on this thread seem to be saying that a cold doesn't matter. Well, for some, they are able to shrug coughs and colds off but others suffer badly from them. If I get a cold now it always develops into asthma for which I have to have steroid treatment and I know that I will have days on end of having to sleep upright to avoid continuous coughing. I would do anything to avoid this.
Always a big hug and usually a kiss on the top of the head up to now, however, some of them are growing taller than me so 'air' kissing for the bigger ones seems to be the thing, picked up from continental cousins, the girls seem to think it is sophisticated!
I do agree about colds after middle age they do seem to be much more difficult to throw off.
I can understand how you feel ( dgc just sneezed 3 times as I'm writing this spraying it everywhere lol) but I'm on drugs to lower my immune system so when I catch something it's not good. When I go over to see my dgc I phone first and if something is going about my DIL tells me and let's me decide if I still want to go round and if I do I still give them a hug but put the kiss on hold till their better.