bargaining with kids

I tend to know that when a kid pushes something he knows too, they're masters of manipulation so I don't explain either. I just say no.

I believe in "no" too, but will explain why it is "no", if it is reasonable to do so. I do think that bargaining with kids is out, as they will push forever if they think it will work. My kids always knew that no is no, and they survived just fine

I try not to say no to much. I sympathise with having no control over any aspect of your life. And that can be tough when you're trying to learn to be independent.
So I do offer choices when I can.
Do you want the blue cup or the aeroplane cup?
Do you want to do x or y first?
Should we have bolognase tonight or tomorrow?
None of these effect me. But they let my son feel as though in a life full of being dictated to he is listened to. And I belive that's important.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEuXqbZEdU4

I didn't realise that it is a song; we saw it once in a frame and I nearly bought it for her.

How funny Jalima the last sentence was what I said too

I always told them to try something that was on their plate and if they didn't like it, then fair enough they could leave it but they wouldn't know until they tried. Sometimes they were/are surprised!

However, one thing I used to say to DD was 'just what part of NO don't you understand?' as she could be quite persistent

Totally get what you say Everthankful apart from the "what's for dinner" bit. I don't believe in making kids eat what they don't want to. I may put it on their plate but I would never make them eat it. I say this because I remember being at school and a kid was sick because he was forced to eat something he didn't like/didn't agree with him, the dinner ladies went and got him another plate full.

I have never ever made a kid eat what they don't want to, and yes I have found something else they would.

What don't you like? would you eat it. My tastebuds are personal to me.

What a bunch of dictators!

Same goes for giving them too many choices - "Would you like this or that?" Or "shall we do this or that?" Sometimes they just need someone to make the decisions for them and it does not prepare them for life by letting them think the whole world revolves around them and will do as they want. I just tell them what is going to happen and what is for dinner, etc and it's accepted. We also have a great time because as they know, almost anything goes at Nana's and if I say it's chocolate milk at breakfast, I mean it!

No from me too but mine is 6 so I usually tell him why. He seems to accept my superior judgement at the moment!

And from me too, my children used to wheedle and plead with my ex when he said no . When I said it that was final. My daughter has been known to say to the children " do as you are told or I will tell Nanny "

I never bargained. No meant no in my house, and still does.

It's a no from me too. I don't bargain when in charge

We call it 'negotiating with terrorists' and we don't do it. But I've heard both our daughters do. It's almost like they are afraid to say a straight out no.

In my experience the grandkids take it rather well, mostly because I don't waver and they're not daft. They'll try it on but they know there's no negotiation at Nana's lol.

DGD drew a beautiful picture of me some years ago. There is a bubble coming out of my mouth with one word in it 'No'. It has pride of place on my kitchen wall.

I think it was the result of the young viking in the family spending an afternoon wanting to sit on my lap so he could cut off my head with his axe. My answer was always quite unequivocal and to the point.