Kitty - that's a very sensible way of arranging things Kitty but unless we move to ???? not much use to us here where the Groups are Not arranged in this way.
As to the Alzheimers 'Local' group, based in the City Centre, 7 miles away from us. with no adjacent parking, I have been badgered incessantly to attend or take DH to their walking groups, quizzes, exercise groups,monthly fine dining nights out, and bus trips by a long standing acquaintance who is now chair of the local Branch. Her own DH, who died last year was in long term care in a private nursing home, which is when she was able to get much involved in the charitable sector. Her stated reason for wanting us to attend is that they are having trouble keeping the numbers up and may therefore loose their funding. I am sorry to say (no I am not that I eventually, after several conversations with her, when she talked entirely to me, referred to DH in the 3rd person, although he was there and listening and stated that it would be best to join the groups now rather than when things inevitably get a whole lot worse. DH cannot manage buses due to his usless left arm and taxis, whilst fairly cheap in the County, are highly expensive in the City. This, is beyond our means on a regular basis as is 'fine dining'.
I must be sounding like a right Moaning Minnie, who finds fault with every suggestion proffered, but the reality is that there are real reasons why none of the goodies apparently on offer are accessible or obtainable. As a wee aside, during the past 3 years through all the assessments, tests and consultations, where I have been the accompanying adult or now apparently the designated carer - NOT ONE PERSON has every enquired about MY health or state of mind. They are totally unaware that I have chronic clinical depression, RLS, worsening stress incontinence and arthritis in my hands - and before anyone asks or suggests I do know all about these conditions and have tried without success or still use the appropriate medications and strategies (another wee aside - did you know that GPs are only allowed to prescribe the lowest dose of anti-depressants to patients over 70?)
I digress. The point is that I could be a potential axe murderer, manic depressive, alcoholic, drug addict or suffering from epilepsy, had strokes. No one has ever asked if I work, childmind or care for other sick or elderly relatives. They have asked if I can drive. It is just assumed that as 'the wife' I am the fit and proper person to be the carer/housekeeper/gardener/chauffeur/valet/secretary/tax accountant/nurse/chiropodist/cook/handyperson, etc,etc.
We all like to think that when people need a bit of help that we would rise to the challenge ourselves or at least ensure that they are pointed in the direction of those who can help. Unfortunately, although such services are, there 'on paper', due to cut backs, long waiting times, constant staff changes (we have now seen 4 different locum mental health Consultants) protocols and bureaucracy the path to getting the help is more like a maze with many dead ends. God help anyone who has physical as well as mental health problems as the different parts of the services do not communicate with each other. I know there are objections to turning every thread into something political but this issue IS political. One thing which could help is to direct sympathy/empathy/concern into campaigning for more funding and integration of all parts of the Social Care and Health Services. Stop squabbling about who should pay for what and minor matters such as health tourism and tackle the problems root and branch, Too late for those already in the system, but even if only in self interest, hear what we are saying, reflect on how much worse it will be in years to come and demand solutions. Where is the money to come from? Well for a start cancel the nuclear weapons which offer no deterrence or protection from modern terrorist attacks. Do you lie awake at nights worrying about Nuclear attacks? or is your fear more about contracting cancer or dementia?