Gransnet forums


Problems which are not problems

(166 Posts)
annsixty Sun 11-Jun-17 20:31:38

I realise I will have to leave GN after this post but is any one else who have real , serious problems in their lives so p.....,d off by people posting about things which are so frivolous and insignificant that it is off putting to some of us.
This may be my swan song on GN, so be it.

Grannyknot Sun 11-Jun-17 20:42:33

But ann ... GN isn't just for people with serious problems. Sometimes reading about the trials and tribulations that others face, puts my problems into perspective.

Also, some people may be dealing with very difficult situations and simply choose not to write about them on a public forum.

Gransnet forums - like all social media - isn't always a true reflection of real life.

Grannyknot Sun 11-Jun-17 20:45:22

Sorry I realise I didn't answer your question, for the reasons above, I don't get pissed off by what people write on GN. I just take most of it at face value and respond if I think I have something to say that might help.

Elegran Sun 11-Jun-17 20:45:37

I am all for friendly conversations about things like what to wear and which floor steamer to buy, but I agree with you about certain posts agonising at length over trivialities. Same with the P6 playground exchanges of badtempered nadging.

I'll get my coat and join you in the pub next door! What'll you have?

NanaandGrampy Sun 11-Jun-17 20:50:37

I'm so sorry you feel like this ann and totally understand why you might feel like that.

The trouble is , many, many people don't know you, or how your life is on a day to day basis . They post about the things in their lives which might be very different from yours. It's not that they wouldn't empathise if they knew .

There's no need for this to be your swan song . In fact I hope it isn't because I think you need a place where you can share your daily challenges . Personally, I also think there are days where a little frivolity might serve to remind you that there are things that might still make you smile xx

Grannyknot Sun 11-Jun-17 20:51:08

My question is - who reads those? I don't, so maybe I'm missing the point that the OP is making.

I have no idea what P6 playground exchanges are confused

merlotgran Sun 11-Jun-17 20:51:42

But how do we know what's trivial and what's not?

Do all posts have to have to be of a serious nature?

Grannyknot Sun 11-Jun-17 20:52:10

My reply was to elegran...

merlotgran Sun 11-Jun-17 20:52:25

I was about to ask what P6 was as well.

Greyduster Sun 11-Jun-17 20:57:03

N&G is right, and please don't leave, Ann; I think you would regret it and we would miss you.

Maggiemaybe Sun 11-Jun-17 21:01:18

I'm so sorry to hear you feel so down, ann. Please don't leave Gransnet. It may well seem that those of us who don't (yet/at this moment) have real problems in our lives just drivel on about inanities, but it doesn't mean that we won't be there to help those of our GN friends who need our support. flowers for you.

annsixty Sun 11-Jun-17 21:04:50

Of course every thing doesn't have to be of a serious nature. I probably have posted frivolous things. I apologise for being so serious in context . It is how I feel. Not any one else's problem, just mine.
So yes I am being unreasonable. I have answered my own question, as you were.

NanaandGrampy Sun 11-Jun-17 21:09:27

You're allowed to be unreasonable ann . Everyone is . Life has a way of grinding you down even when it's not the life you experience every day.

You're allowed to feel the way you do, there's no need to apologise.

MawBroon Sun 11-Jun-17 21:14:02

A couple of things occur to me
1) sometimes a trivial "problem" may be a person's "dry run" at posting something more serious
2) loneliness may prompt a person to post even if they haven't got a real issue to post about, just to start up a conversation
3) some people DO obsess about the slightest thing, this is not unique to teenagers! Open pores on their noses, ears going red, next door's old git in his string vest, the price of bread. Ageing can make us pernickety/grumpy (present company excepted) just earwig on some people's conversations on a bus or train
4) what may seem "Doh!"to you and me, may not be be so to another
I heartily sympathise though. Sometimes I do wonder how some people have reached the age of discretion and can appear so clueless, but hey, it takes all sorts.
When your own life is treating you unkindly such nonsense can be incredibly irritating, but chins up!!
And don't you dare think of leaving!!!

Grannyknot Sun 11-Jun-17 21:14:28

Ann it is completely understandable that you are ratty and irritable if you are having a difficult time. But don't pack in GN because of that. flowers for you.

cornergran Sun 11-Jun-17 21:16:16

Not unreasonable, ann, but rather honest about your feelings.

phoenix Sun 11-Jun-17 21:23:55

I, like many, have had many serious things going on in my life, death by suicide of my youngest son, nearly having our house repossessed last year, but I post stuff that may be considered "frivolous", and will continue to do so

(Or continue so to do, wink.

Long live frivolous threads, there is more to GN than politics, games and angst.

I will sign off with my usual (possibly "frivolous" thing),

Could be wrong, often am.

M0nica Sun 11-Jun-17 21:34:14

Since my sister died in a road accident. I have marked every problem in my life on a scale from 1 - 10. Not surprisingly, most of problems come in at 2 or under. But this doesn't stop the little problems being the most annoying and the ones that wind me up most.

For the last month I have been urgently trying to fill in a form that has to be done on line. But I cannot get into the system. It will not accept my password or any of the replacements I have been given.The amount of stress this has caused is quite out of proportion to the problem, but it would do me no good telling me that compared with the major problems in life this is trivial. For some reason I can cope with those, but this problem (now solved) brought me close to giving up some voluntary work associated with it.

Life is any way made of light and shade. When my sister died and we sat in shock in her house, her cats did something silly and we all started laughing.So often when life is at its worst something happens to lighten it.

GN would be uncope-able with if people only used to discuss all that is dark in their lives. Life itself is made of light and dark and on GN we want to offer help and solace to those who most need it, offer brisk advice if we think that is what is needed and have a good giggle as well.

Elegran Sun 11-Jun-17 21:34:39

Frivolous is OK, Phoenix, and I am sure Ann will agree with that. It raises a laugh and takes the mind off intractable problems. So are posts about unimportant things, the things that we would chat about to a neighbour we met over a cup of coffee. I think what ann may be finding annoying is the way some things which really don't matter a toss are argued about to the point of people verbally coming to blows.

P6 is Primary Six year - about 11-years old, when girls in particular fall out spectacularly with their best friends over nothing.

MawBroon Sun 11-Jun-17 21:35:12

I don't think the objection, if any, is to "frivolous" threads which lighten our spirits phoenix but rather perhaps the trivial posts which are made out to be "problems"
I may be wrong, but that is how I read OP.

Anniebach Sun 11-Jun-17 21:36:15

What may seem a frivolous post to some may be troubling to the person posting it,

Don't leave Ann, you have given your opinion which you are free to do. If you are going through a bad patch then definite not the time to leave X

Serkeen Sun 11-Jun-17 21:36:49

Sounds like u r having a bit of a bad day and venting a bit on GN

That's fine, that's what GN can be about.

And it's also about people being able to come on here and have a chat with regulars and even newbies like myself.

I think you know that you are being a tad un reasonable I think GN should be for all, those who wish to speak about the weather or their garden or what they had for diner! or for people that wish to speak about and maybe get advice or hear another persons angle on stuff that they have going on in their lives.

Hope your day got better, if not tomorrow is another day smile

MawBroon Sun 11-Jun-17 21:39:17

Serkeen what do you know of annsixty's life to say she is being unreasonable?
She is being honest and no doubt voicing opinions which others may have considered.

Jane10 Sun 11-Jun-17 21:51:04

Now I feel guilty posting about acupuncture. I just wanted to know if anyone had any experience of it before trying it. I'm really having trouble as I can't use my right arm without a lot of pain.
GN is really helpful for this sort of thing. I'd posted last month about what to wear to a function with the dress code "business dress". It was just a tiny problem but I wanted your advice.
The political threads though?? Yikes. They should come with a government health warning!

grannypiper Sun 11-Jun-17 22:14:47

Sometime Ann just like in RL you need to have a bloody good moan about the the things that hack you off throughout the day or share a mad moment that has had you in tears, in stitches, or gobsmacked. Not all of life has to be a trial, i am sure when you meet up with friends you don't just discuss problems or intellectual matters that only score highly on the non trivia scale. It is what it is, enjoy