Wedding

Could you ask them all round to yours for a celebration meal?

I must admit this is what my second husband and I did. He is now my ex, but that's beside the point

We were both over 40, I had been married before and neither of us wanted a huge fuss. Family were all wide spread, so trying to get everyone together at the same time would have been almost impossible.

We went off for a long weekend and married. No family at all were there. Our witness's were people who worked in the registry office. Our photographer was the gardener there.
Family were a little surprised when we told them, and probably did make comments to each other about not being invited, though they never said anything to us.

It was our day to do as we wanted. I think that you are being unreasonable to not support your sister in law. Just be happy for the new couple.

Thanks for your replys, her daughter and her daughters partner went and were witnesses. I know most of you think I should just suck it up, but I genually feel I've been punched in the stomach. I would probably think the same as you if it hadn't happened to me. I do believe that no man is an island and if as a family we can't celebrate the good times in life together then what is the point.

I can understand how upset you are, and i think if your husbands sister had told you in advance,and explained they were just wanting a quiet wedding and no family were going it would have been less upsetting
Did they have any other family there though?,if so it would be more of an insult i think to just leave you out

both my sisters daughters did this ,no family at all was at either wedding ,they got witnesses off the street .My daughter was getting married around the time her cousin did it and I offered her cash and a ladder if she'd elope ...lol.She dclined my offer .Her 2nd marriage was just both sets of parents and a party a week later

YANBU in the circumstances. I agree about sending congratulations and then leaving it but your feelings about it at the moment are perfectly valid. They will lessen as you know but it's fine to feel hurt for a while and share it in here to help process it. She's been lucky to have you in her life and personally I think that if she's willing to let you help and share through all the bad stuff, she could have let you share the good stuff as well. I think she could have said something to you when she sent the photo about wanting a quiet wedding but that she looked forward to you all having a nice meal/ celebratory drink together soon. You sound lovely

My sister did exactly this for her second time around. She had done the full church thingy but had then coped with his desertion and divorce. She and new husband just popped to the registrars and did the deed. No one was invited.....it was what she wanted so we just accepted it - in fact if memory serves me right there was not even an announcement....just an 'Oh by the way we got married last month'.

I agree with most of the sentiments expressed on this post. Of course you are upset, but just send congratulations and wait to hear more. If you react or stew on it you will only hurt yourself. So just smile! You sound like a lovely helpful lady!

I think if they both wanted a quiet wedding without any fuss then they have done absolutely the right thing. I would understand if other family members went and you were excluded. It was the choice of them both to do it together, try and just be happy for them and stop seeing it as a rejection - it wasn't, otherwise she would not have sent a photo.

We are all allowed to have the wedding of our choice. They probably didn't want a lot of fuss, especially for a second wedding.
Just send a message of congratulations, and allow them to celebrate in the way they have chosen; unless, that is, you want to start a flaming row with the newlyweds. It's not about what you've done for her in the past; it's about their future together.
You're feeling a bit hurt, but it was not your day; it was theirs.

What's done is done (on HER day), send congratulations, end of.

Just accept and let it go. Send congratulations. It was their day and they did what they wanted.
I would be just as cross but don't agonise over it.
A few years ago my adult D did a deree, I rang during one day and no- one was at home, I left a message and she rang in the evening to say it had been her degree ceremony. Not a word before. I was hurt but shrugged it off. We are very close and always have been. I couldn't let it spoil things between us.

Did anyone else go?