Sheilasue, my heart goes out to you! There's nothing, imo, like the loss of a child, even an adult one. And how horrible that his own wife murdered him! But how beautiful that you are there for your little gc! God bless!
Sheian, I'm sorry about your situation. It was very loving and generous of you to rearrange your work schedule, etc. to accommodate ds and family, and it stinks that you feel mistreated in return. While I don't think it's so bad for a mom to want some time to rest, the way dil told you her plans was very off-putting. Though Iv happily watched my gc at times to simply give dd a break, if she greeted me the way dil greeted you that morning, I would have been incensed, too!
I suspect that Red has hit on something though and there are issues between ds and dil over his lack of involvement with childcare, etc. Could be her comment to you was really intended as a message to him (i.e. "I'm tired after being up with baby all night while you sleep, and I need some time with friends too, just like you get.") An immature way to go about it and not fair to you, but I suspect that's what that was about. I could be wrong, of course.
Unfortunately, it seems as if you and ds are at a kind of crossroads. Either he truly has "changed his mind" about your watching gd, and he and dil will work out something else. Or he'll cave and go back to the original agreement because they can't afford anything else and he can't/won't pitch in. If they don't have you watch gd, he might keep gd away from you, as you fear. But they might simply discard the once-a-week babysitting idea and that's all. That remains to be seen.
I sincerely hope pps are right and the fact that you provide free childcare will keep him from complete co. In fact, I hope he changes his mind back again and decided to leave gd with you once a week. You've already carved out the time and it would be great for you to have this time with her. Please keep in touch and let us know what happens.
Does anybody work out with kettlebells ?
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