Help please, wise people!

It was a trial holding off the wine during the meal as the speeches were at the ned, but v necessary not to be tipsy

Small cards with notes on to remind him. It is quite common to do this Enjoy x

I gave the speech at DD1's wedding because it would have been way beyond DH to do this. Didn't write anything down (which panicked DD1), looked on a few websites for ideas. It went down OK but I got used to giving talks when I was working.

My son in law had to give a best man speech at a wedding where the some of the bride's family had been involved in a terrible car accident abroad, weeks before the wedding. I think someone had been killed and others were still recovering. Don't know how he did it.

As a public speaker for many years, here are some tips:

1. Look at an object at a far wall, so you look as if you're speaking to the wider audience
2. If mouth goes dry, close your lips together and run your tongue over your front teeth
3. Get used to hearing the sound of your own voice - walk around the house and speak or read the speech loudly

It's not an easy thing to do, but being prepared will really help.
Know what you're talking about/get to know what's in the speech.

Hope that helps xx

Well the best thing I can say is tell him to remember that everyone there is on his side and will be cheering him on, and if he fluffs his lines they will understand.

I used to do lots of presentations often to large groups and of course I was often nervous. I found the best thing was to focus on either an object in the room or one person and deliver what I had to say to it/them only, it made then rest of the room disappear and felt far less intimidating. It worked for me hopefully it might do for your OH. Have a fab day both of you. Ali

My DH was terrified of giving a speech when his DD got married, I told him "stand up, speak up & shut up" in other words keep it short. He did a short speech which went down well. We also knew that Best Man would give a brilliant speech as he was used to public speaking.

I am a bag of nerves in front of people I know but in front of a room full of strangers I can give a speech, presentation etc no problem

My husband, as father of the bride has to do a speech at his daughters wedding in 2 weeks time. His daughter is from his first marriage. I knew he didn't want to do it as he felt all eyes would be on him, as he has "not been in her life" on a daily basis for quite some time (her choice). His children choose not to contact him unless they want something. I went on the internet and pulled together a very simple speech for him that will not be open to criticism from the first wife. Both of us are dreading the wedding as we will be apart for quite some considerable time as they always sit me at the back by the door with complete strangers while he has to sit at the top table with the family. I pointed out that the family will be more interested in looking at me as "that woman" 9I couldn't care less) and not him. He doesn't feel so bad now! Such is life!

If I can do it anyone can. Being a one-parent family after husband died, it was up to me to give the speech at my daughter's wedding. I was terrified. I'm not one for being the centre of attention so it was very alien to me, but I knew I had to do it. I didn't eat anything at the dinner because I felt so sick, and I felt like the queen giving a very stiff and stilted speech when it came to it. I couldn't relax and I've been very embarrassed about the thought of it ever since.
But my other daughter said it was fine and she wants me to give a speech at her wedding, so I can't have been so bad. I can totally empathise with your DH, but he WILL get through it.

My DH and future SIL were both so nervous about giving speeches at our DD's wedding that they did the speeches before the meal, so that they could relax and enjoy the food and wine.

I have given many talks and lectures and found that saying it out loud when home alone got me used to the sound of my own voice and helped to time the presentation.

It's probably the thought of it that is making him more nervous than the actual doing of it. Once he"s started it he may well be ok. Although this is"nt the same as doing a wedding speech I had to do some presentations for the company I last worked for along with another colleague. We got through it with a few swigs from a little bottle of Bach's Rescue Remedy to steady our nerves......not sure if it was that that actually worked or that we thought it did! One tip I remember being told was to focus NOT on a person ...but on something else to start with ......We like Pam Ayres type poems in our family and often speeches at our get togethers often come in the form of a humourous poem read out straight from the paper it's written on.......a pity you can"t borrow my son in law.....he"de be in his element!

Best not to learn a speech, but rehearse from bullet points and have those available to sooth nerves.

Eglantine19 - I did the mother of the bride speech and her stepfather just walked her down the aisle. Use the little silly handbag we have at these events, a set of cards with simple highlighted bullet points, but tied into order in case they are dropped, then go for it.

I ended up enjoying it, did the whole thing of explaining I had chosen that job in case I upstaged the bride or people had thought we were sisters if I had walked her down the aisle, said it was my opportunity to get my own back after 34 years. Knowing her well as her mum, I could relate bits from her being a 3 year old bridesmaid, through uni, and early career, with quips that related to some of the colleagues there. I could even steal the groom's stories of 4 hilarious attempts at proposal in paris, as he seemed bent on just saying thank you to everyone. Then I had witnessed the wedding preps and dress purchase in Bakewell, with compulsory puddings purchased by all of us, and how the retinue of attendants had grown and grown. So no "jokes" needed, just real humorous events. I had a photo book to present to her, and silly mugs. It was the shortest speech of the 3, probably but the best, even if I do say so myself.

Thank you all for your wonderful support. Yes! He did step up and it all went wonderfully well.

Short and sweet...........he will be brilliant I am sure.

When my DH and I got married (I already had 2 children from previous marriages) my DD was the biggest chatterbox you could ever imagine... yak, yak,yak yak and mostly talked rubbish just to hear her own voice (jeez I wonder where she gets that from ).

We had a little wedding meal for about 20 people and DH (very very shy) got up to do a little speech "thank you for coming etc." My DD was going to stay with my parents for a couple of days so we could have a weekend away (a rarity as my parents never babysat) and at the end of,what was a very short speech, my DH pulled a set of ear-defenders out of his pocket and handing them to my mum he said "I thought you may be needing these. Sorry I only have one set, so perhaps you might take turns"

It didn't half raise a good laugh!

Cubagran, what a lovely post. The very fact that your DH was there must have meant everything to your DD and SIL. xxx

My DH had had a stroke the year before DD's wedding and there was no way he could read anything, as the stroke had affected the speech and language area of his brain. He managed to say a very few words along the lines of "thank you everyone for coming, we are pleased to welcome new son-in-law, doesn't the bride look lovely, hope they'll be very happy, now raise your glasses and drink a toast etc." I was so proud of him, and as most people knew about his stroke they understood that that was all he could do. They were few words, but spoken from the heart, and that's all that matters.

I gave my youngest daughter away and gave a speech too. Best to have it written down in front of you, even though you try not look at it, but it's there to back you up and yes a few jokes to begin helps and a few glasses of champers helps a bit too
Best of luck to your husband on his speech Eglantine and hope you all have a wonderful day

My husband made funny jokes about me in relation to our marriage and then gave my DIL funny advice about how deal with the male members of our family. He had them rolling in the aisles, much to my surprise, as he is usually a quiet man in the background. I think he must have been surfing the net for ideas.

Thanks Smileless. So far so good! "I am delighted to welcome you all on thievery happy day......." Oh what came next!?

Tell him to just be himself hope you have a lovely day to all you having weddings tomorrow ?

I can emphasise, as my children didn't have a father in their life I gave my youngest away so had to make the speech. I can't bear being in the limelight so it was my worst nightmare but I did it and I m sure you're husband will manage too
Good luck

DH started with a little joke - but nothing personal - then the rest of it from the heart as others have said.

PS. Nervous public speakers sometimes find it easier to read speeches in some sort of rhyme form.