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Late Birthday cards

(26 Posts)
Dorydaydream Sat 22-Jul-17 09:30:46

I am so miffed that my DSS and his partner are always late with every single family birthday card/present. Last week they actually were with the family member the day before his birthday and the day after and he still hasn't received anything!! Not even a flipping card!

Is a years notice not time enough?

Does this bother anyone else or aibu ?

tanith Sat 22-Jul-17 10:15:12

Not unreasonable but some people just don't see the importance. My son doesn't do cards and I would not expect his partner to take responsibility for it. He would probably have no clue if it were an important birthday but I don't take offence it's just how he is.
He does send fab flowers/chocs occasionally and does FB greetings. You can't change some else's behaviour just don't let it bother you.

Jalima1108 Sat 22-Jul-17 10:30:14

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
Ogden Nash

But just occasionally two of the same kind of people end up together!

KatyK Sat 22-Jul-17 10:36:59

I have a friend who looks after her small grandchildren on a regular basis and does everything for her children. She never complains but mentioned the other day that on her last birthday her daughter and son-in-law arrived with the children and her daughter said 'sorry mum, we've forgotten to bring your card. We've bought you a bottle of wine as well but have forgotten that too'. On their next visit the daughter said 'sorry mum we drank your wine, we'll get you another'. She never got it. A bit much I'd say.

Dorydaydream Sat 22-Jul-17 11:11:20

It seems to be a trait in people then and I will just have to deal with it sad

Katy I feel for your friend really not on at all.

jusnoneed Sat 22-Jul-17 11:40:35

We don't bother about birthdays or christmas for ourselves. Did the usual stuff when the children were small but only the youngest son still gets gifts (oldest not in touch) and we never bother with cards. My son gives us something small (usually remembers last minute) wine/chocs etc.

My OH is 70 in a couple weeks time, for some reason sis in law mentioned having a meal at their place. No idea why as they never bothered at any other time, hoping by the time they have had their holiday she will of forgotten about it lol. We certainly won't be making a fuss.

paddyann Sat 22-Jul-17 11:46:00

I've had ONE birthday card in 43 yeats from my husband,he just doesn't DO cards and its really not an issue ,he rarely does presents either and says if you want something you know just to buy it....true.My friend has a florist shop and she laighs when she sees him ,he usually asks for a bunch of "sorry" flowers though thats a rare event and only if he's done something awful like not finish decorating when we have guests to stay..thats about the only thing that annoys me .My son is like his dad,but my daughter always buys beautiful cards and thoughtful gifts that she knows are my taste

Swanny Sat 22-Jul-17 12:05:36

I've had to remind DS of family birthdays forever grin They have an office-style wallplanner in the kitchen with all the dates on but just don't 'see' them hmm Thought things might improve when DDIL came along but no. On the rare occasions they remember they usually ring up for the address as they're out, or DGS has hidden the address book, or he/she left it at work, or they just can't be a*s*d and it's quicker to ring me grin They do manage to remember mine though ...

BBbevan Sat 22-Jul-17 20:42:29

I always do all birthday cards for the month on the 1st or2nd. They are stamped and then put ready to post on the appropriate day. Last week was DGD1 birthday. We posted the card with a 2nd class stamp 4 days before her birthday. It took 8 days to get from SWWales to London. Not a very good service I am thinking

Nanny123 Sun 23-Jul-17 09:27:13

My step daughter regularly forgets to send her dad a card for his birthday or father say (I never get one) and often forgets to phone him on his birthday or Father's Day yet before her birthday or Christmas she is on the the phone hinting on what she wants. Same when she wants something she doesnt forget to phone him then.

Hm999 Sun 23-Jul-17 09:47:51

I'm terrible with getting things to people on the right day, though it is rather nice to get a present the following week when your birthday is long forgotten.

Jalima1108 Sun 23-Jul-17 10:13:16

That's shocking BBevan
I am assured by the Post Office that airmail will take five days so allowed two weeks for a small present and card for DGS's birthday (the present was an extra as we now give money as postage is far too much) and three weeks later he still had not received it.

This was not a one-off.

Sheilasue Sun 23-Jul-17 10:13:58

I have dates plastered all over my calendar for birthdays and anniversarys etc. I often forget and I have a box of cards. I will still send a card even if it's late.

goldengirl Sun 23-Jul-17 11:19:54

I've got dates written in a birthday book - and I forget to look!! I always remember the children's birthdays and their mums and dads but I tend to forget relatives and friends in the wider circle. DH relies on me to remember so it's the blind leading the blind as it were blush

Tessa101 Sun 23-Jul-17 11:20:10

I agree I still love to receive cards and no you are not being unreasonable I would be miffed

Rosina Sun 23-Jul-17 11:51:04

I would be miffed too - love to receive cards, but a friend married to an Italian said they never exchange cards, and Italians think it is insanity to send a card to someone you live with or see very regularly.

win Sun 23-Jul-17 13:19:40

I always send cards to all my friends and family and love receiving them, but this year I have forgotten 5 birthdays due to pressure going on in my personal life, I am mortified and have grovelled appropriately I hope.

Hardly any of my family send cars, my son and family send me a very generous present often by mail for all occasions and some of my overseas friends also send me cards for my birthday and always for Xmas. I have a very long Xmas list which I try to reduce a little each year due to the cost.

The younger generation mostly do not do cards, but social media instead where you can send wonderful cards FOC I love them too, but do like to have proper cards through the post.

I have at least 3 different boxes of cards, wrapping paper and gift cards that have all been given to me as presents as people know I just love it all.

quizqueen Sun 23-Jul-17 13:21:06

Just give them a taste of their own medicine and do the same on their own birthdays/Christmas etc.

mags1234 Sun 23-Jul-17 13:34:20

I'm so disappointed Facebook has stopped giving advance warning of friends birthdays and I've been caught out., !
I always give birthday pressies to the children, then cards to adults. The only adults are my husband, adult children, and sister who get pressies. Because I love them!
Others I've cut out because I never hear from them or because they don't acknowledge having got gifts from me. My three best friends get gifts, not necessarily expensive. I'd be hurt if someone I cared about forgot totally but others, too bad ! It's free to send e mail messages if ur skint, that would be acceptable to me.

travelsafar Sun 23-Jul-17 13:40:21

We both think that a card means someone has thought of you and taken the trouble to purchase a card and stamp and pop it in the post for your special day.

We are not bothered about gifts, its the card that means everything to us.

Imperfect27 Sun 23-Jul-17 14:38:22

Cards, including postage often now work out to the same sot of cost as a modest bunch of flowers or chocolate / candle so if it is a local friend I buy a little gift and take it with the words ' this is your birthday card'. Better value for money methinks.

KatyK Sun 23-Jul-17 15:05:35

If you are worried about forgetting birthdays, you can buy a diary in somewhere like the Card Factory for 99p. I just jot the birthdays down in there and it's easy to remember. smile

SussexGirl60 Sun 23-Jul-17 19:17:27

Actually I think it's very selfish to forget or overlook someone's birthday or special occasion. I know we all overlook things when we are stressed or there's a crisis but otherwise, I think it's nice to make the effort. I just love it when people complain that no ones remembered their birthday and yet, they remember no one either! It's a shame if we all live such egocentric, hectic lives that we can't put ourselves out for a loved one. We all remember each other in our family but I do have friends who don't bother, or who turn up with something three weeks after the event. Not impressed, sorry.

BBbevan Sun 23-Jul-17 19:29:51

DGD finally got her birthday card 8 days after posting. 5 days late for her birthday.

Legs55 Sun 23-Jul-17 20:09:26

I luckily get cards from DD & DGSs & nice gifts, my DM sends a card & usually a cheque (she lives 300 miles from me & no longer drives but at 88 I don't expect more)

I do think our generation love their cards, but my DD & her friends (in their 30s) do exchange cards. Cards become more important the older you get & the less you get out.