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Gay Pride ad a new 'equality gap'?

(341 Posts)
Imperfect27 Fri 04-Aug-17 19:35:57

Let me explain.
I am NOT homophobic.
I think it is appalling that historically people who are LBGT have been marginalised, discriminated against, made to be fearful - even treated as mentally ill and 'curable.' All of this more than saddens me.
I have gay friends. that I regard as part of my extended family and if a child of mine were to tell me that 'Actually mum, I am gay' it would not make one iota of difference to my love and support of them. If anything, it might bring out the lioness in me as still, I think they face disadvantages in society. Until we reach a point of being gay being a big 'So what!' we will not have reached true equality.
BUT ... I have struggled with the adverts for Gay Britannia on BBC - which seem to swamp the airwaves. I struggle with the news that 10 national trust staff have been 'moved to non customer-facing services' for refusing to wear gay pride landyards - www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-40825660 - and I struggle with the societal subtext that if we do not openly accept and rejoice with proclaiming 'gay pride' we must somehow be anti ...

I struggle because I have been hurt. I was married to a man who left me for a man. I learned along the years of our marriage that gay wasn't 'curable', wasn't a 'choice', wasn't an 'aberration' - it was / is just a .n. other way of being.

BUT, I know I would not find it easy to wear any gay pride regalia and I struggle with the strident voices that seem to need to be 'in your face' about their sexuality. I don't introduce myself along the lines of 'Hello , I am .... and I am heterosexual.'

Maybe you will think I am contradicting myself because I do see that being accepted as LGBT in our world is still a struggle for some, and maybe that means that some people do still need to be strident about it, but I find myself in something of a corner. At present I feel marginalised, I feel my opinion doesn't matter, I feel that even though I have been prepared to revisit and revise every value I was brought up with, recognise my own unfounded / ignorant prejudices and move to a point of not just tolerance, but true acceptance of how we can be 'different' , still am somehow 'out of step.'

I am not sure what I want - except I don't want to be bombarded with gay 'rights' to the detriment of any other 'right'. At present I feel 'unequal'. Does that make sense?

Eloethan Mon 07-Aug-17 22:36:52

In my view, disagreeing with people being forced to wear gay pride lanyards does not indicate homophobia.

But, again in my view, saying "I don't introduce myself along the lines of 'Hello , I am .... and I am heterosexual.' " trivialises the very real struggle that gay people had to be treated as equal human beings - and they are still discriminated against and sometimes at risk of physical assault or worse.

I actually don't agree with people being told to wear some sort of emblem of support. If it is compulsory then it means nothing - it's like people working in shops saying "Have a nice day" just because they are told to. And who decides what causes should be supported- to my mind it sets a dangerous precedent and one that could be abused.

trisher Tue 08-Aug-17 10:11:59

The NT decides what cause they are supporting it is LGTBQ year and everyone who volunteers in their properties should be aware of that. Mind you I think that the 10 volunteers have probably boosted attendance at the property with all the publicity.

Elegran Tue 08-Aug-17 10:19:54

It does seem that we are approaching the day when we all have to wear a label stating -

"I will not discriminate against anyone for their sexual preference.
I will treat people of all races with equal consideration.
I will not pester anyone of the opposite sex, or anyone of the same sex.
I will not molest any child.
I will not tell you that it is your duty to provide me with a grandchild, or that you should NOT be propagating your accursed line in conjunction with my son/daughter.
I will not steal from you, give you short change or clone your cards.
I will not assault any driver whose maneouvres annoy me.
I will not call advocate compulsory euthanasia for all at the age of 50 .
For catering/kitchen staff -
I will not contaminate the food.
I will not goose the customers, or indulge in heavy petting while operating the till.
I will not insist on any vegetarian consuming a bacon sandwich.
I will not tell any vegan that their social relations would improve if they ate a proper diet."

Anyone not displaying this will be arrested and charged with intent to contravene one or all of these requirements.

Decent people do all these things as a matter of course without needing a label to announce it. Decent people don't like being treated as though they would be criminals without outside coercion. That is why the NT volunteers have resigned - not because they disagree with the policies.

Anniebach Tue 08-Aug-17 10:21:53

I love your post Elegran

gillybob Tue 08-Aug-17 10:23:11

Me too !

durhamjen Tue 08-Aug-17 10:34:19

240 people resigned from the NT over it, but 5000 joined in July!

They may have wanted to keep his sexuality private, but it didn't work, thanks to the Sun and the Mail.

trisher Tue 08-Aug-17 10:39:11

I have a feeling that the NT might be pleased to see the back of some of the people who have resigned

Starlady Tue 08-Aug-17 10:39:28

LOL, Elegran!

Jalima1108 Tue 08-Aug-17 10:39:38

Good post Elegran

Jalima1108 Tue 08-Aug-17 10:42:10

I think the Chief Executive has gone and all the rest have heaved a sigh of relief.
Back to the job in hand - preserving historic houses and land for the enjoyment of all, present and future generations.

Anniebach Tue 08-Aug-17 10:43:24

Really Trisher, strange if they wanted to see the back of them that they withdrew their demands which caused the resignations .

Jalima1108 Tue 08-Aug-17 10:59:50

I don't understand they may have wanted to keep his sexuality private

Who are they? Not the NT obviously as they were the ones publicising this without consulting those close to him.
Do you mean his god-children? Friends? Family?

Starlady Tue 08-Aug-17 11:01:46

Yes, apparently, the NT has changed its stance:

www.thesun.co.uk/news/4178842/national-trust-backtracks-on-order-forcing-volunteers-to-wear-rainbow-gay-pride-badges/

It wouldn't bother me to wear this badge, but I don't think it was right to try to force people. Would anyone really want somebody to wear a badge supporting something if they didn't mean it? I don't think so.

I bet most of the new volunteers will happily CHOOSE to wear it,

maryeliza54 Tue 08-Aug-17 11:23:58

He did die a very long time ago didn't he - I wonder how many people who were close to him are still alive now and 'knew' what he would have wanted. I know a godson was mentioned but I wonder how old he was when his godfather died and what conversations they had had about the privacy of his sexuality.

maryeliza54 Tue 08-Aug-17 11:42:04

I think overall the NT has done a brilliant job since it was founded. Octavia Hill was an amazing woman influenced in her social entrepreneurship by a caring and brave grandfather who fought hard for better housing conditions for the poor. Her father was also a real radical as well as a businessman(eventually failed). Reading about how she ran her housing estates is really interesting and there are many ideas that could be used today . It was because of her experience of bleak housing estates that she was convinced of the need for open spaces for the urban masses and this eventually the NT was born. Land was the driving forc to start with. We are lucky to have the NT and I do think there has been a bit of a 'feeding frenzy' over this episode which I'm sure the NT has learned from. I think the NT is right to commememorate the 50th anniversary of the partial decriminalisation of homosexuality - there are other examples on its website but wrong about the lanyards and/or badges as it has now acknowledged.