.. to feel uncomfortable bout this book loan ..

I understand how you feel devongirl. Presumably your OH chose to read the book for some reason. It was well reviewed, much talked about, looked interesting to him for reasons other than the explicit material or maybe he went out and chose it because of the explicit material because he wanted to make up to your GD.

I think the last explanation is the least likely, he was entirely happy for you to read it before it was passed to you, and you said it was beautifully written. There are a lot of books written now, of the highest literary quality, that have extended sexually explicit scenes. In fact an awful lot of them do.

If he can only recommend books that are suitable chaste, it is going to rather restrict the free circulation of books between the three of you.

No, Jacky, he occasionally recommends books to her, that's all. I think he just thought it was a well-written book - which it is. But..

Sorry, you do say you frequently swap books, but I'm not clear whether there is regular book swapping between the two of them.

Does he make a habit of lending books to her or is this a one-off?

I'm not sure what it is, TBH. I definitely feel v. uncomfortable. It feels altogether too personal, not just sex.

Something is obviously making you feel uneasy about this - I`m just wondering if anything else has happened which has sounded some alarm bells with you.

Yes, I think YABU.
Do you have doubts about your OH?

Is it your DD or your DGD?
If your DD then don't worry about it, but it would seem a bit off to give tge book to a DGD I think.

Ps. A friend is a respected church elder and uni lecturer whose favourite reading includes Robert Burns' bawdiest!

I'm not trying to censor her reading matter!!!!

I reiterate she is perfectly free to read this book, I have no problem with that.

Good grief. Some highly respected authors have written explicit stuff. DH Lawrence, Anaıs Nin, Roald Dahl. She's 24 !! No-one should censor her reading matter.

Sorry but obviusly I haven't made myself clear - I would not be in the slightest borhtered by her getting the book form a library, a shop, online, whatever!

It's a book not a proposition.

She could as easily get the same book from the shelf of the library or in a charity shop. I agree with Nina on how to broach it but I wouldn't be worried in the least .

I should also add that he's 'a man of the cloth'

Does she need to know it is coming from him? Can't you say you have read a book you think she may like, it does have some steamy sections and would she like it. Then leave it up to her. Is he likely to question her about the book after she has read it?

I should have said, DD is living at home at present and OH visits every Saturday

If it was me I would say "Just to warn you it's a bit steamy in places but I've read it and it's a well written book" in a light hearted way, therefore leaving it up to her, which is as it should be at her age.
I don't think the fact that it's your OH offering it to her is relevant personally but were all different.

I agree that there is no reason that she should not read the book especially with a Lit degree, that wasn't really the point.

It's more that it had come from him and contained very intimate stuff that I just don't feel comfortable with her reading that from a man who is (a) so much older than her and (b) is a family friend. It does make me feel yuk.

I'm sure it sounds a bit extreme but I don't want her to feel uncomfortable with him, either.

I agree with grannysue you cannot censor your adult daughter's reading material.

I would feel a bit awkward about it too - though I accept that perhaps that's the product of having fairly inhibited (though not narrow minded) parents.

Quite a difficult one Devongirl! My first thought was I'm sure she's read similar things before but your other half is not related to her. I don't think you're being prude I'd be tempted not to pass it on perhaps say you've lent it out to a friend and discreetly ''lose'' it.

Can't see any problem myself.

I lent a really good book to my male boss once, forgetting a particular steamy scene. It gave me a moments discomfort when I remembered, but then saw the funny side. We did discuss the book but not that scene.

I can understand your thoughts on this, but your GD is 24 not 14, and also has an English Literature degree.
She will have read everything going by now, and will not be shocked in the way you may imagine.
Just because your OH is 66 years old and is in fact like a grandfather to her, will not make your GD think of him any differently.
Just lend her the book and let her enjoy what you describe as a beautifully written novella.

P.S I'm looking for a good book to read if you feel like passing on the title.