Accused of being nosey

Yes, I'm not sure Serkeen's suggestion would go down very well with this particular character and you'd risk another mouthful. Perhaps he just likes being left alone.

I wouldn't have looked over the fence in the situation you describe. It does seem to be an over-reaction to a bit of noise. It doesn't excuse your neighbour being rude though.

If it were me I'd write post a short note explaining and reassure him that it won't happen again.

Try not to take it to heart - just say hello when you see him and carry on as normal.

LyndaW I think you should go and speak to them to explain what kind of a neighbourhood it is, and explain that people look out for each other and you would hope that they would do the same for you.

They need to understand where you were coming from and that you were not just being nosey, the air needs to be cleared, just take some cake as an ice breaker

The previous person in my bungalow was a man in his sixties . His reason for moving was the neighbour next door.
The family with teenage children are as quiet as can be and very old fashioned in their ways which is nice.
However they felt sorry for the chap who was here alone and insisted on looking over the garden fence when he was tending the garden or relaxing in it. Then they upped the pity and started handing meals over the fence also desserts and cakes.
They drove him round the bend and he may as well not have had a garden as he never went out there because of them.
I think they saw him as older than his sixty odd years and hounded him with concern. So much that he moved .
I do not think you should have looked into their garden.
It is rare that there is anything to be concerned about no matter how much shouting you can hear. You are not needed to watch over them.
However I support the neighbourly acts of parcel acceptance and garden watering which are non intrusive and distanced from the neighbours personal life.
I was brought up to never look over the garden fence even if it was a glance as I walked down the garden.
A cheery hello was all that was needed if the neighbours were also in their garden but to say nothing at all if they were sitting on their veranda relaxing.

My neighbour overlooking my drive is always looking over the fence when she hears my car. If I'm in the mood, I will have a chat but if not I say ive got frozen food and need to get it in freezer.
Sometimes if i feel grumpy, i ignore her but to get away with this ive told her im a bit deaf. Bit of a white lie comes in handy!
I would leave your neighbour alone and just be friendly when you bump into him. He sounds a bit nasty to me!

Next door but one neighbour is a nosey old cow, never misses a trick, she is up at 6 in the morning, however my boyfriend bike has been stolen quite a few times and she never sees anything and her godawful dog does not bark! which it normally does 24/7. You sound a really lovely neighbour, they should be more like you xx

We have neighbours who are very nice but at one time we used to think they were most odd. They moved in about three years ago. The husband works in a bank and the wife is a nurse their 3 children are all married and live else where. We look out for them when they are away as they do for us. One morning not long after they moved in the wife came home with another man after 3 hours or so he left in a taxi. Her husband came home a little later, sometimes she came home with another man or other women. One evening they invited us around for dinner and drinks. during the evening as the wine flowed her husband told my husband that 'he shares his wife with others'. We did wonder what was going on. Now we get on very well and their private life is of no concern of ours.

I've found my neighbours to be offish and sort of rude in their looks towards us. Our house happens to be at an odd angle and so kind of looks over their home from every angle. Being at stay at home mum, I'm always outside with the kids or taking in the washing or looking out my window to see if any of them are in trouble while I've popped inside to fold the washing etc... but I feel like they think I'm looking at them which isn't at all the case.

The other night their tree feel down across their driveway and onto the gate. Which means that they would not be able to leave their home in the morning to get to work and school. Do my husband got his shoes on and went outside to see if he could help the guy to move the tree or even if need be cut some of it up so that they could at least open their gate. He was brushed off.

I assume you wouldn't in normal circumstances look over someone's fence or monitor what is happening next door. I certainly wouldn't apologise for showing neighbourly concern.

In future I wouldn't bother about what is happening at your neighbour's property, unless, of course, you believe someone is being hurt.

I'd not be happy if a neighbour looked over my fence - and we get on very well with ours. I know your intentions were good, but you need to keep away from that particular neighbour and limit contact to 'good morning' or taking in of parcels.

I'd not apologise, disregard the incident. Sounds like he was having a bad day

Exactly what moobox said.

Your new neighbour will not know 'the rules' of how your little area works. If you are the new person in a long-established neighbourhood it can be very isolating and feel cliquey.

That is no excuse for rudeness, but if you are a person who values your privacy, having neighbours meerkatting over the fence with every little break in routine can make one feel under surveillance and/or siege. I take in parcels for neighbours, as they do for me, and keep an eye on their place if asked to, but I don't intrude further because I assume they like their privacy and peace and quiet like I do.

As to your neighbour, smile politely, be pleasant and give him some space. If rudeness persists, ignore him.

I would do nothing as many have suggested here, but also be polite if you pass, in the knowledge that you were the better person as far as this incident went

Forget it. Just be polite in future when you see them.
I can see why you did it but TBH if my neighbour looked over my fence I would probably react badly too. However I do suffer from a very nosy neighbour who drives me demented & has done for the whole 27 years we have lived here. She is getting worse with age too- she's a lot older than I am & getting very deaf so we do get a bit of privacy in the garden now as she doesn't know if we are out there. We have a huge hedge between us & she yells over it to me if she thinks I am in the garden. It is very thick & she cannot see through it so now I just totally ignore her unless we meet face to face in the front garden. All the other neighbours -who are delightful -ignore her in the main & I am one of the few still on speaking terms with her. (she went to introduce herself to a family who had just moved in & her first question was how much did they earn!!)
So maybe your neighbour has met someone like this in the past & is wary.

Just leave it be, he probably had a bad day and you popping your head over the fence was the last straw, however well meaning. Just be polite, say good morning and leave it at that. Forcing humiliating apologies out of people never works out well. Don't be spiteful though by refusing to take in parcels and such, this is how situations escalate, just carry on as before, but perhaps a bit more formal and polite rather than friendly.

Just let it go. He has set the boundaries now so just do the minimum, i.e say Good Morning etc. It is one less neighbour you will have to look out for.

Hm999. My office got burgled some years ago. The next day all the neighbours from the flats upstairs came down to complain about the alarm. No one called the Police.
You couldn't have known.

I woke up one night hearing someone walking around on the laminated floor next door. I didn't think anything of it until following day, I found out she'd been burgled. I felt so bad

Always difficult dealing with neighbours. Things have changed and some neighbours never both to speak at all .... You checked because you were concerned but surprised your neighbour at what could have been a very awkward time for him/her and the response was really not nice. I would ignore the situation - carry on saying hello but do not risk putting your head over the parapet again!! If they are burgled it will not be your fault but it looks as though you will not get any support from that quarter.

It is difficult to get the balance right but I can't see that you went too far. Just ignore them if that is what they want. They may have thought that you were going to be checking on them all the time and wanted to nip it in the bud but it is unfortunate.
I have written before about my neighbour. She is currently in hospital under Section and the Council rang me and asked me to keep a watch on her flat and said that no one should be there except her family.
When I hear a noise, if I open my door I am likely to be staring at her family (who seem to blame the neighbours for her illness despite them having ignored her problems until the Council asked them to be more involved with her - after I made them aware of how bad she was getting) so I don't like to do that and I can't see much out of my window so I decided to keep to myself.
On Saturday I heard banging and smashing noises from her flat so I called the Police who spent ten minutes telling me that there was no point them coming out as she wasn't there to tell her that there shouldn't be anyone in her flat and that they couldn't break in (her ex boyfriend who she has a court order against was also trying to get in the security door at the same time). He (the operator) was very passive aggressive and unhelpful and at the end of the ten minutes he said 'why are you panicking, you sound like you're panicking'. I wasn't I was just getting frustrated with him. The police did come out but by the time he sent them and they got here of course everyone had gone. This is because when I give her address and they look it up, what comes up is a formal complain I made against the Police for not taking the situation here seriously. The Police did change but the operators are always unhelpful so I am reluctant to call the Police.
I feel sorry for her because she is attracted to criminal types but I think it could be part of her condition to make poor judgments. The trouble is that we can't cope with them. The council needs to move her from a ground floor flat but they say that she has to apply for a transfer and that they cannot suggest it or help it with it. She wants to move but she can't organise it. We had 7 months with virtually no sleep and now we are finally able to sleep at night (for me, after quite a while for my sleep pattern to get back to normal) so she is not going to be welcomed back very warmly. The woman in the flat above her is 84 or 85 and she visibly aged in that 7 months. After just a couple of weeks she looks healthy again. The people next door to her are also in their 80s and he is partially sighted and has said that he wants nothing to do with her and her problems, so I am the only one here that can do anything.
Estates and neighbourhoods need a few nosey neighbours but I would prefer it to be someone else.

I think I would just forget it, a note or an apology might make things worse. Be the bigger person and carry on as you always have looking out for others (but perhaps not him).

I wouldn't bother apologising. Some people just aren't neighbourly.
As for intervening if you here women crying etc it can be the case that it fuels the situation..... personal experience tells me that ?

Seems like they might have been having a row over something and you looked over the fence just at the wrong time. She may well feel embarrassed once it's all calm again. I would,nt do anything ....let it blow over. Some people are simply more private than others and like more space.

I'd just leave it and write it off to (unpleasant) experience. I'd think twice about taking in mail or doing any other favours for him if he wants privacy. In fact, personally, I wouldn't do it. It's always best to keep on good terms with neighbours if possible, if that means not getting involved in his life in any way, that's his choice.

Mt street has a similar tradition, but it doesn't always work out. One of our next door neighbours died, and his wife didn't tell us, as far as I could make out it was because she disliked us. The first we knew of his death was when someone further down the road knocked on our door and shouted at US for not telling HER! She found it hard to believe we hadn't known, and I found it hard to believe I hadn't noticed them having a funeral myself!