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AIBU

Or just a GOW?

(69 Posts)
Squiffy Sat 11-Nov-17 15:32:11

We were in our local Wilkos today and, having paid, made our way to the exit. At the exit, on the inside, was a charity stand and two young women charity workers. The stand and the women were very visible and it was impossible to reach the exit without realising their presence.

Now, I've absolutely nothing against their being inside the store, especially on a grey, drizzly day like today, BUT I did strongly object to being accosted by one of them attempting to guilt-trip me into making a contribution. Her approach being, "Do you love animals? . . ." If I had wished to donate, they were prominent enough for me not to have missed the opportunity.

I make regular contributions to charity, so it's not a case of being miserly!!

TKMax used to require their till staff to ask if customers wanted to donate to whatever the current charity was that the store was supporting. It didn't go down well. Customers felt embarrassed to say 'no' and I believe that they lost custom locally. The store stopped the practice.

Surely, the presence of collecting tins, or even a person collecting, should be enough in a store, without them actually cornering customers.

Rant over, tin hat on . . . . .

MinniesMum Sun 12-Nov-17 09:15:03

Couldn't agree more - pestering people when they are out shopping is a big no no. Anyone remember the Bangladesh floods many years ago which led to a stream of Asian women with collecting tins on the streets. One of them pushed the tin right into my face and knocked my glasses off. I was so angry I grabbed the tin and threw it across the pavement. I didn't realise at the time that my face was bleeding. The police were there immediately and had already been called because of their aggressive behaviour and she was charged with assault.
I later found out that much of this money had gone to individuals in this country, not to Bangladesh.

Jaycee5 Sun 12-Nov-17 09:23:46

I never give when asked at the till even if it is a charity I would support. It will then be 'TK Maxx donates £..m to X charity' when it is not them donating it at all. It hasn't happened to me there though. It did happened at a Spa I went to a few years ago and they added it to the bill and I had to tell them to remove it which was very annoying.
I also haven't seen any chuggers recently. Save the Children were the worst and with that and them having Sam Cameron as a patron, are no longer a charity I support.
I don't really say anything other than 'no' although I say it politely unless they are pushy in which case they should be told forcefully.
They have made things difficult for themselves. It should be easy just to give a text donation but too many charities abused that and sold people's numbers. They try to guilt people by sending you things like a pen or labels.

annifrance Sun 12-Nov-17 09:24:56

I always give to buskers on the Tube, love the uplifting sound of music in a dull stressful place. And I consider that I am paying for a service. I have been known to remonstrate with a policeman trying to move them on!

I am on a personal mission to persuade French shops to put out charity boxes for all that loose change that you don't want cluttering up you purse, as in UK. Much better than shaking a tin in you face.

Zorro21 Sun 12-Nov-17 09:31:43

How do people fee though about being approached by Rumanians to wash their cars outside supermarkets while you shop? This is much worse than charity buckets. I really dislike this, because they are quite pushy. I complained to Sainsburys once about it. They phoned me back and said many people had complained, yet they are still there doing it.

Grampie Sun 12-Nov-17 09:34:53

Free will.

Giving without being hassled is true charity.

That’s why I say not right now.

inishowen Sun 12-Nov-17 09:38:48

I was accosted by someone from Dogs Trust in our supermarket. I replied that I was scared of dogs having been bitten as a child. It took the wind out of his sails!

Tessa101 Sun 12-Nov-17 09:53:47

I choose who I give money to regarding charities and it won’t be those who shove tins in my face.Totally agree with you.

harrigran Sun 12-Nov-17 10:18:01

Regarding car washers at Sainsburys, does anyone know what happened to them ? they were there one day and the next day the trolleys and washers had disappeared. I have since noticed their container/shed has been removed.

Nanny123 Sun 12-Nov-17 10:18:26

I agree, I hate having it pushed in my face. And I really to object to be asked at tills if I want to donate to a charity, I feel guilty when I say no, yet they have no idea that I donate regularly to several charities and have done voluntary work in the past. People should not feel pressured in any way into giving money. In fact this actually will put me off going into a shop

Rosina Sun 12-Nov-17 10:27:54

I agree strongly here, and I have also felt harassed by collectors. I discovered that the collectors who stand in the street or shopping centres with an elaborate stand with brochures etc. are from companies employed to drum up money for the specific charity and if you sign up they take a proportion of your donation EVERY month, not just the first one! I was horrified by that. We donate to cancer research and I had a call from a strident woman who asked if we could up the donation; I explained that we donated to several charities and could not give more. She persisted for a good five minutes asking for 'just another five pounds, just another three' until I had to get quite rude and say that if she didn't understand no I needed to hang up. I also mentioned the cut they take every month and asked if her company did that and she instantly started blustering and moved back to asking for more money. I can see how fragile people end up giving half their income away, and my thoughts went to the poor old lady who sold poppies for many years and ended up committing suicide a few years ago because she was deluged by charity demands.

Coconut Sun 12-Nov-17 10:46:42

I always just keep walking and will say over my shoulder, I already donate to others, because I do. So I won’t let anyone make me feel harassed, just be assertive with them, they soon give up.

EmilyHarburn Sun 12-Nov-17 10:54:09

A quick search on the internet suggests there are local guidelines or that the charity itself may have guidlines. See below
The Collection

While regulations do not directly state that you cannot 'rattle your tin', the Metropolitan Police's guidance states that:

No collection shall be in such a manner as to cause, or be likely to cause, danger, obstruction, inconvenience or annoyance to any person.

Read the Metropolitan Police's gudiance

Remember to check the conditions of any licence as they may have additional stipulations.

www.institute-of-fundraising.org.uk/guidance/fundraising-disciplines/community-and-volunteer-fundraising/charitable-collections/

libra10 Sun 12-Nov-17 11:05:03

When I was in a supermarket a while ago, there were collectors for Guide Dogs for the Blind, asking people to sign up.

It's a charity for which I have great respect, and I offered a donation. However, they didn't want that! They wanted me to sign up, giving bank details, to make regular donations by direct debit.

I refused to give details and walked away, and they lost the donation!

Legs55 Sun 12-Nov-17 11:10:14

I have collected for RNLI (a few years ago) outside a large supermarket near where I used to live. On no account were we allowed to "rattle our lifeboats"hmm or invite people to contribute. I always said "thank you" for donations.

Anyone who rattles a tin in my face had better be able to move fast, I can weild a mean walking stickgrin.

I support many Charities & often drop an odd £1 coin in boxes when I'm out shopping.

Being a GOW has it's advantages even though I'm not reallysmile

Angelwhisper Sun 12-Nov-17 11:12:48

I donate to two charities, animal and cancer charities. I decline others unless I feel they are particularly struggling however I haven't a bottomless purse and have taught myself to say no. What I find embarrassing and not welcome is bag packers set up at every available checkout in my local supermarkets. Personally I feel it is emotional blackmail and I really don't want anyone packing my bags but myself. Broken eggs, squashed loaves are not my thing so I tend to avoid so supermarkets. Squiffy, can I borrow your tin hat please lol.

chicken Sun 12-Nov-17 11:21:26

There were people from the Air Ambulance charity by the entrance to Lidl's when I went shopping this week, accosting everybody who was trying to get in, asking for a sign-up and querying any refusal. OK, it's a wonderful charity but why should I have to explain why I can't donate? I already have several "pet" charities to whom I give by standing order and my budget won't stretch to any more, but it's embarrassing saying this to disbelieving faces. I think it's actually counterproductive for the charity. I used to give regularly to an animal charity who gave out collecting boxes for your small change but they started to ring me up more and more frequently asking when I was going to send them the collected money, followed by requests to know if I was going to leave them a legacy in my will, so eventually I told them (politely) to b****r off and leave me alone, so they lost out through being so pushy.

FarNorth Sun 12-Nov-17 11:28:18

I always say No, thank you to bag packers, but still usually give them a donation.
It's my choice how I pack my bags and it's also my choice whether I donate, is the way I see it.
I expect some people are happy to have their bags packed in exchange for a small donation, tho.

FarNorth Sun 12-Nov-17 11:31:35

(On a side note, it's astonishing how badly some people pack their own bags. So they won't care if the packers put meringues on the bottom etc)

Apricity Sun 12-Nov-17 11:39:50

I don't like being accosted by charity collectors in shops or at home either but do understand the value of what they are doing. Some are volunteer collectors and others are paid a commission or an hourly rate. Mostly they are just trying to do a job. I make monthly payments to charities that I choose to support but I don't like to be rude so I just smile and say something like "Not today thank you."

quizqueen Sun 12-Nov-17 12:03:51

I tell them I never give to charities who ask. I only give to those I first make the decision to give to.

lilihu Sun 12-Nov-17 12:14:01

Would never donate if I was approached and asked. I already support 7 charities of my choosing.
As for signing up, giving Bank details to a random stranger in the street, how crazy does that sound?

judypark Sun 12-Nov-17 12:21:44

Returning after an early shift I was approached by a chugger, I politely said no thank you and as I walked on he shouted after me " you're obviously a person who doesn't care about others".
I was in my fully visible staff nurses uniform at the time!

Imperfect27 Sun 12-Nov-17 12:32:42

I said 'No' to a chugger when out in a city high street, I was unemployed at the time and watching every penny. He clearly did not want to take 'No' for an answer and called after me 'Are you going to buy a cup of coffee this afternoon? THAT cup of coffee money could be given to charity...' I have never felt guilty about saying 'Sorry but no.' Even less so after this experience.

jevive73 Sun 12-Nov-17 12:46:25

No objection if they don't invade my personal space. However, inside the canopy of our local marks and spencer was a scruffy overweight man with a bucket collecting for disabled children. I read the name and googled it when i got home. the charity was in the durham area. so i emailed and asked whether they would be collecting in the london area. she said definitely not as they were a small local charity. so i emailed marks as the man collects on their premises, albeit outside. they said i should ask him for his charity number and report it to the police. i emailed back to tell them any action should be taken by them.

GoldenAge Sun 12-Nov-17 13:19:29

We have a local Tesco Express (three minutes walking distance) and hubby visits it almost on a daily basis for fresh bakery (for himself). About a month ago I noticed the till receipts he was getting from the self-service tills and was curious to see that they were all rounded up to the nearest pound so I queried this and he had no answer. On calling the store manager I was told that they were running a charity week and asking customers to donate their change up to the nearest pound to the charity (nominated by Tesco). And it seemed that this was automatically done at the self-service tills. Apparently, a question came up asking for permission but my husband like many other 78 year olds I guess was so set in his ways that he just tapped the screen continually until it told him to pay. I thought this was a huge cheek and definitely a guilt trip as he wouldn't have gone to the counter and asked about this. As we have several standing orders to charities of our own choosing, and regularly give to buskers and buy a cup of coffee and cake for a homeless person, I thought for Tesco to be so pushy was disgraceful.