to think kids should be allowed to believe in Father Christmas

Dame that was a bit strong to the OP. I can understand her being disappointed & not agreeing with DiL but at the end of the day we have to go along with the parents' ideas. I think a lot of us love to take children to see FC (or to pantos etc) and to be honest it'sfor our own enjoyment as much as theirs! I think we have to admit this when our ideas fall flat, and move on! It's really not the end of the world.

Crikey..such vitriol to the OP

I would’ve loved my MIL to have requested the company of her DGC..whether it was Father Christmas or Peter Pan..she had no interest in my lovely kids..and I was the one who tried to keep her poor excuse of a son on the straight and narrow..

I was a VERY considerate DIL..never got me anywhere..and I can guarantee I was constantly talked about..

That's what I thought - and why I didn't tell my kids Santa Claus was coming. I did teach them about it as a tradition of giving with a real historical background, so they could completely enjoy all the fun of stockings and grottos

I was a stinker too when my MIL interfered with the way I brought up my children. She was so incensed that we had no TV that she ordered one to be delivered and I had to send it back and ask her to respect our wishes.

As for Christmas, my oldest DD worked it out by age 5 so there was no hope for the younger ones. It didn’t mean they didn’t love finding a sock full of presents on their bed when they woke and they all went along with leaving out a treat for Santa, a small whisky (which was my night time tipple), a mince pie and a carrot and thought it was comical that I would be the one enjoying it.

As for the nativity story, I told them the truth about the Winter Pagan Festival and that Jesus Christ existed but it was highly unlikely that he was born on 25th December. They still enjoyed putting up the little wooden crib and Christmas was and still is the most exciting day of the year.

I can just imagine that my MIL talks about me this way too.

Gosh you're a horrible MIL. I'd rather teach my kids the true meaning of Christmas and anyways they still would get gifts.

mum of mad boys.
You claim to never letting your children believe in father Christmas but letting them believe that the 25 of December was the day Jesus Christ was born.?
I do not know how old your children are,that it is not relevant, what I hope does not disappoint them is when they learn, and don't believe they will not ever come across this, but there is no mention in the scriptures of that day being the day Jesus was born. That idea was brought about by the early Christian Church attempts to bring people away from paganism. It succeeded . Don't deny this day of the 25 as a celebration but look at the real reason why the 25 December figures in our calendar which goes back centuries and it was a day for celebration , but not in the way the church wanted us to believe.Then make it a 'family and friends day' when we all get together , where possible, exchange gifts make merry and give help to those without family and maybe homeless. The church would do well to dwell on what is happening around us and not on that which has yet to be proved.




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Tiny two -what I think is sad about your post is that your DIL couldn’t have said - how lovely for you to offer to take them out, would you take them to see the lights or shopping as we don’t ‘do Santa Claus’, then the children could have enjoyed a treat with you. Sounds as though she’s a difficult person!

I think I suspected (when I was 7) that Santa was Daddy, but it was confirmed when I was behind the sofa, eavesdropping, when my Mum was discussing the subject with her friend! I 'allowed' my two younger sisters to carry on believing.

Beejo that sounds very handy - a good way of stopping them getting up too early!

I think the OP said her DiL was a stinker anyway and that this was just the latest manifestation of it. I think they're a bit young but it's really up to the parents.
For my own DGC I'm with Gillybob all the way!

Tiny it doesn't seem like the end of the world really to be honest! There are lots of christmassy things to enjoy! I think you may be feeling upset because you will miss out on that experience with them but it is their parents who make decisions like this about their children's upbringing! Why not find a different fun Christmas activity like seeing the lights and ask if you can do that ...I wouldn't take them anywhere near a Santa Grotto...that would be going against what has been decided , the worst thing you can do whatever the activity and however much you disagree!!

Heard Jamie Oliver on the radio this morning saying that the first thing he has to do on Christmas morning is check that Santa has gone because his kids (presumably just the younger ones!) are scared!

sue01 Yes ironic!! Why did this vicar think it was ok to tell such small children that a man in a red robe isn't real...it certainly wasn't his place to do so....and I bet the vicar decked out in his regalia at the time told them the story of baby Jesus ??

My older daughter was very young when she queried why there were so many santas’ grottoes. So I went along with the story that Santa was a tradition and there were lots of them carrying out the tradition. I was quite relieved not to have to deceive them, so we didn’t have him coming down the chimney, and everyone who sent a present got thanked for it. (That’s important)! They still loved visiting more than one Father Christmas and I don’t think they were deprived of any magic. I remember being shocked when a friend younger than me told me he wasn’t real. I was disappointed in my parents for fibbing to me, too. I see no harm in the OP visiting a grotto, but if her GC family are against this, just accept it.

My daughter told her youngest the truth this year (she’s 8) because she didn’t want her teased at school for still “believing”. She wasn’t too disappointed- her response was, so, if it’s you I can just ask for what I like!

it is fun but I remember being very upset when I found out he wasn’t real.
Maybe it’s for the best really.

Our dgc 4 & 6 believe however Santa only brings one present the rest are from family and friends

TinyTwo are you sure it's not you feeling deprived of the experience - of taking a grandchild to see santa's grotto? :D You can still take them anyway as long as you can trust them not to tell the other children in the queue what they know. As long as they understand that there are some other children they'll meet who haven't been told the secret yet or however you can explain it.

We always kept Santa as a small part of Christmas, just stocking presents, so the break was less traumatic.
I remember my mother in law telling me how she'd hated him as a child, because he brought the girl next door a dolls house, and a load of presents, and she got a painting book!

I think it is such a shame for short period of time the fantasy is taken away. Was it a big deal when I found out he wasnt real? of course not. You know, you are a long time grown up and children today have had a lot of their childhood taken away with the horrors of terrorism, and paedophiles.My grandchildren are 8 and 4 and yes Father Xmas will be visiting and they will be leaving him a glass of milk, mince pie and a carrot for the reindeer.

My five children always knew the multiple Santas in the shops were pretend. They knew they were part of the excitement and run up to Christmas in the same way the fairy lights and shop displays are. We are a theatre loving family and I suppose we saw these as little dramas you could enjoy or ignore. Two of my girls loved them. One did not. The boys were indifferent.
They are HER children. It doesn’t destroy the magic of the day.
Why not take them to a quality children’s Christmas show instead? That’s something I wouldn’t have wanted them to miss!

I think it is a shame but some parents see it as lying to their children and are put honesty above what most of us see as a bit of fun.

Just ask to take them out to see the Christmas Lights, the decorated shops and streets, and the fun fair, ( Aberdeen had closed a street and there are rides and a skating rink. ) Santa isn't all there is at Christmas and no one will be hurt not seeing a mam dressed up.

They're her children at the end of the day and I'm sure they'll be fine even if they don't visit Santa's Grotto.

Other Gransnetters have posted about how they enjoy certain Christmas traditions but we have to accept that other people don't follow or enjoy the same ones.

It's really not worth falling out over.