Gransnet forums


to think kids should be allowed to believe in Father Christmas

(72 Posts)
TinyTwo Thu 30-Nov-17 14:52:15

My dil is a stinker at the best of times but she's really annoyed the hell out of me today. I offered to take the grandkids (5 and 8) out to see Father Christmas at a local grotto this weekend. My dil turned round and said I needn't bother as she'd informed them that he's not real anyway! I was totally floored and lost for words (doesn't happen often!) What is Christmas to child without the jolly man in a red suit? What kind of mother robs their children of that experience?

MissAdventure Thu 30-Nov-17 14:54:23

Well.. Its not the end of the world. I'm sure I read in a thread the other day that some parents don't perpetuate the myth, right from the start.

paddyann Thu 30-Nov-17 14:58:32

most 8 year olds dont believe in Santa nowadays ,I know our 8 and 10 year old dont and the six year old told us last week he's jsut a legend .I wouldn't get annoyed about it ,maybe she's stopped them being teased by classmates for still believing .WHATEVER their mother decided its HER choice and you have no say in how she raises her children might want to remember that if you dont want to be one of the many oh here who have been banned from seeing their grandkids

WilmaKnickersfit Thu 30-Nov-17 15:19:45

My niece (now at university) never became comfortable with seeing Santa anywhere. It didn't stop her getting or wanting Christmas presents! There's plenty of parents who don't want their children to be brought up not just about believing in Santa, but with any religious beliefs either. So there's no Jesus born in the manger, etc.

These children still take part in school activities and are taught that it's about old traditions rather than being factual, so they still join in with their friends. It's down to the parents to set the scene and prepare their children.

These parents are not usually disrespectful of the choices of parents and teach their children to accept the beliefs of others as their choice and right. Teachers are used to children from different cultures, backgrounds and beliefs.

Taking children to see Santa can be done without the child believing he's a real person. Some schools teach about St Nicholas and beliefs from around the world. It really doesn't have to stop the child from joining in the festivities.

It's a parenting decision though and it should be respected.

PS I was like lots of children in that I always wanted presents, so I never admitted for a long time that I knew Santa wasn't real.

Ilovecheese Thu 30-Nov-17 15:45:57

"What kind of mother robs their children of that experience?"
The kind of mother who is doing the best as she sees fit for her own children.

Smithy Thu 30-Nov-17 18:25:32

Can't help though feeling 5 is a bit young. 7 seems a good age to find out.

GrandmaKT Thu 30-Nov-17 20:41:48

I always tried to be honest with our children and I never felt comfortable with the whole Father Christmas thing. Don't get me wrong, it was lovely when they were tiny and we've got a smashing video of the two of them aged 2 and 5 leaving mince pies and carrots by the fireplace. The minute they started to query it though and ask if he was real, I was so relieved to give up the pretence and confirm that he wasn't. No trauma and still lots of magic left in Christmas tchsmile

Elrel Thu 30-Nov-17 21:06:08

Tiny, they'd still enjoy the suspension of disbelief surely!
My DM told me the truth when I asked at 7 and I shared this interesting fact with the local children. DM had several annoyed neighbours to deal with.
She put it well to me 'Anyone who gives someone else a present at Christmas is being Father Christmas.' She also, to the end of her life, loved to take me, then my daughter, then neighbours' children she minded to see Santa in the department stores! Different neighbours, of course, many years and house moves later! She really loved Christmas but believed in answering my questions truthfully.

Luckygirl Thu 30-Nov-17 21:08:24

A stinker! - can she do anything right? I would certainly have no problem with this - her children, her decision.

sylwright Thu 30-Nov-17 22:22:16

I agree that its up to the parents to make the decision but 5 years old does seem a bit young to me.

gillybob Thu 30-Nov-17 22:28:58

My 7 and 9 year olds both still truly believe in Santa Claus. Their older sister (11) is keeping it alive for them. Why not ?
Children grow up too fast anyway. Far better they stay innocent and happy for as long as possible .

Nelliemoser Fri 01-Dec-17 00:19:08

I think it's mean. Father Christmas is one of those games you play with your children. Younger children will no doubt believe it for some time but then when they know it's not real they go on playing it. Most older children understand it is a game . It is a bit of magic and children understand make believe better than adults do.

BlueBelle Fri 01-Dec-17 05:17:57

You have to accept that your daughter in law is bringing her children up as she sees fit not as you see fit I think there are too many grannies condemning their daughter in laws because they are not doing it THEIR way
You had your turn accept that she is doing it differently

harrigran Fri 01-Dec-17 06:55:05

He's not real tchshock my parents never told me that.
I do tell our GC that the gifts we give at Christmas are from us and not Father Christmas, he is not getting the credit for delivering musical instruments and expensive clothing.
Accept your DC's way of doing things and don't rock the boat.

mumofmadboys Fri 01-Dec-17 08:24:19

We never told our children that Father Christmas was true. We didn't want to deceive them. My mum was appalled. We thought that the wonder of Jesus' birth was enough and far more important and life changing. I think you should respect the parents decision

Iam64 Fri 01-Dec-17 08:31:16

I love the Christmas traditions but I'd never criticise any parents who (lovingly and responsibly) didn't perpetuate the Father Christmas myth. Once mine started to ask questions I told them about the various traditions that led to St Nick/Santa/Father Christmas. Two of mine were only a year apart at school, the 6 year old told me some of her friends had told here Father Christmas isn't real but she didn't think we should spoil it for her younger sister by telling her - yet.

This isn't something I'd have a row with my own children or their partners/husbands about either. They're the parents.

gillybob Fri 01-Dec-17 09:29:57

We tell the children that Santa sees them at our house so often they must think they live here ! Then we collect the stuff up (there's always lots of it) and deliver it to theirs on Christmas morning . Magical.
I love buying for the children (more is definitely more) but hate buying for adults .

glammanana Fri 01-Dec-17 09:34:08

I like to keep little ones enthralled as long as possible but they will learn from school friends the truth about Santa so I would have to agree with parents as to how their children are told you certainly don't want to be upsetting your DIL
p.s. Have they been told the truth about The Tooth Fairy yet ?

radicalnan Fri 01-Dec-17 10:04:35

Are you taking the children to church? That is the real basis for Christmas. Not everyone buys into the Santa thing and certainly he is the harbinger of commecialism now. I think she is right to do what she thinks and you should support her choice.

sue01 Fri 01-Dec-17 10:12:39

The new Vicar did it here. Invited to meet a class of 5 year olds, he told them Father Christmas isn't real. Anyone else see the irony ??

spabbygirl Fri 01-Dec-17 10:12:59

I never taught my kids about Father Christmas being real. To do that and teach them not to lie seemed crazy. I told them it was a tradition though, and quite sweet. I did tell them about Jesus and I believe he was true, & even when I get to the pearly gates if I found out I was wrong I will still be pleased I lived my life a Christian way.

BlueBelle Fri 01-Dec-17 10:18:51

Shabby girl that’s funny if you are wrong in your beliefs they will be no pearly gates to get to but hey ho you won’t know anyway
I don’t know what a Christian way is or a Muslim way or a Buddhist way isn’t it just about living a decent life and doing unto others as you’d liked done to you I don’t see that as belonging to any one religion
Sorry off piste now
Let the mum do it how she’s sees fit whether it is your way or not surely you can tell them some people believe some don’t and you do believe in Father Christmas and mum doesn’t and then they can do the make believe things with you and the more practical stuff with Mum win

Ramblingrose22 Fri 01-Dec-17 10:28:56

They're her children at the end of the day and I'm sure they'll be fine even if they don't visit Santa's Grotto.

Other Gransnetters have posted about how they enjoy certain Christmas traditions but we have to accept that other people don't follow or enjoy the same ones.

It's really not worth falling out over.

nipsmum Fri 01-Dec-17 10:43:21

Just ask to take them out to see the Christmas Lights, the decorated shops and streets, and the fun fair, ( Aberdeen had closed a street and there are rides and a skating rink. ) Santa isn't all there is at Christmas and no one will be hurt not seeing a mam dressed up.

Jaycee5 Fri 01-Dec-17 10:45:27

I think it is a shame but some parents see it as lying to their children and are put honesty above what most of us see as a bit of fun.